-I apologize for the length-
I acted out of character today and asked my coworker for an unbiased opinion about my friend situation.
I'm not going to feel guilty anymore. Why should I feel guilty when I know I always put 110% into my friendships? I had asked my coworker if it made sense for one certain circle of friends I have to complain and talk sh*t amongst themselves about me for not keeping in touch with them. Mind you, I have texted each of them within the last month or so. Before that, I heard nothing from them. Also, they didn't say anything to me about it (I only found out when I had texted one of them; they called me and told me about the complaints of the other friends). I understand that every single one of my friends were spoiled by me with presents, weekly calls, daily texts, keeping up with their facebooks, plans for birthdays or weekends, overall staying super up-to-date with their lives, etc etc etc but the only reason I became less available to anyone was because of serious personal problems. I still am dealing with these, but am a lot better. All of these friends know about these issues.
I thought it was strange that they never checked on me while I was going through things but when I would reach out, say on facebook, I would get no response. They would do things together and never invite me. Still, I didn't hold it much against them. It wasn't until I noticed that this was a trend going on with all my friends from different circles that I realized that I was the only one that valued my friendships with any of them. I tested this theory by simply not trying anymore. Lo and behold, I haven't heard from or seen anyone in weeks/months. So when I heard that, that one particular circle of friends were complaining, I just went a little crazy.
So, I'm not feeling guilty anymore. I don't see what sense it makes for anyone to blame me for these friendships no longer existing when no one else contacts me, when no one else acts like a friend.
Why this happened? I have no idea. Maybe if I didn't notice the pattern I would have gone on being every one of my friends' groupie and never realize that they weren't there for me or probably didn't care. I guess this way is best. If I can't find people that will be the real thing then I guess I'll be fine on my own.
I can say that I do have a few people that care about me. They are just not close in distance to me, so I understand us not talking everyday and certainly us not hanging out frequently. Hopefully, someday I'll find a circle of actual friends.
-Thanks for reading-
I acted out of character today and asked my coworker for an unbiased opinion about my friend situation.
I'm not going to feel guilty anymore. Why should I feel guilty when I know I always put 110% into my friendships? I had asked my coworker if it made sense for one certain circle of friends I have to complain and talk sh*t amongst themselves about me for not keeping in touch with them. Mind you, I have texted each of them within the last month or so. Before that, I heard nothing from them. Also, they didn't say anything to me about it (I only found out when I had texted one of them; they called me and told me about the complaints of the other friends). I understand that every single one of my friends were spoiled by me with presents, weekly calls, daily texts, keeping up with their facebooks, plans for birthdays or weekends, overall staying super up-to-date with their lives, etc etc etc but the only reason I became less available to anyone was because of serious personal problems. I still am dealing with these, but am a lot better. All of these friends know about these issues.
I thought it was strange that they never checked on me while I was going through things but when I would reach out, say on facebook, I would get no response. They would do things together and never invite me. Still, I didn't hold it much against them. It wasn't until I noticed that this was a trend going on with all my friends from different circles that I realized that I was the only one that valued my friendships with any of them. I tested this theory by simply not trying anymore. Lo and behold, I haven't heard from or seen anyone in weeks/months. So when I heard that, that one particular circle of friends were complaining, I just went a little crazy.
So, I'm not feeling guilty anymore. I don't see what sense it makes for anyone to blame me for these friendships no longer existing when no one else contacts me, when no one else acts like a friend.
Why this happened? I have no idea. Maybe if I didn't notice the pattern I would have gone on being every one of my friends' groupie and never realize that they weren't there for me or probably didn't care. I guess this way is best. If I can't find people that will be the real thing then I guess I'll be fine on my own.
I can say that I do have a few people that care about me. They are just not close in distance to me, so I understand us not talking everyday and certainly us not hanging out frequently. Hopefully, someday I'll find a circle of actual friends.
-Thanks for reading-