Keeping Friends

[Blue Sky]

I really have only one friend, I met him at a support group when I was going through struggles in my life. We only keep in touch via the telephone and the only reason that I call him is that when I'm very lonely and bored and want to talk to someone. He is a very ecentric, intelligent, type of person and has very strong opinions on everything and really, we don't have anything in common at all. I am starting to feel a bit guilty over this, because I am only keeping this friendship going because of my loneliness. Any advise?

 

[AaronAgassi]

How is it that you find so little of interest to discus in his intelligent opinions?

 

[sweetestbaby]

I really have only one friend, I met him at a support group when I was going through struggles in my life. We only keep in touch via the telephone and the only reason that I call him is that when I'm very lonely and bored and want to talk to someone. He is a very ecentric, intelligent, type of person and has very strong opinions on everything and really, we don't have anything in common at all. I am starting to feel a bit guilty over this, because I am only keeping this friendship going because of my loneliness. Any advise?

What kind of interests do you have? I'm sure you can find at least one common interest. Surely you can each at least be open minded in each other's music movies, and reading.

 

[teach]

Blue Sky,

I entered some relationships that way when I was in my divorce care class. Once I felt that stage of my life was complete, I didn't really feel the closeness I did with the others, the closeness that was started because of that big issue we initially shared. We could talk about other things, but often when communication lagged, someone would return to what binded us together in the first place. It's not necessary to keep friendships for life. It's wonderful when that happens, but you aren't bond to the people you hang out with forever. If that were the case, we'd all be messed up starting in high school.

Forge new friendships wherever you go, whatever your interests fall. If you find someone that you connect with in ways that expand beyond the initial reasons, great! You two can move on together to find more friends who share your new interests as well.

Now, the hard part is being lonely, we are usually also very introverted, not often going out to expand our horizons. I have to make myself do this, and sometimes find myself being plugged into the wrong groups (was not fun to be placed into a 20-something singles class at church, I'm 35! (and cringe every time I say that)), so you do have to shop around (right now I'm in a general Sunday school class, but everyone in it is retirement age (60+) but I enjoy it for different reasons.

Good luck with your expansion, if that's something you're wanting to do.