cicerolion
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- Apr 9, 2013
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A point that has been beat over the head on this forum is that unattractive people have a barrier when it comes to finding a romantic partner, and that some people think they might have crossed the threshold into being too unattractive to ever find a relationship. Now, I know that being unattractive can be a barrier in other aspects as well: succeeding professionally (people tend to hire or give opportunities to the attractive), getting a good education (teachers act much the same way as employers), or creating a strong social structure (after a certain age, friendships seem to be governed by sexual dynamics). But, I think the prejudices in those areas are more easily overcome, if you work at it. That being said, attractiveness is not the only shallow aspect that attracts people. Being seen as wealthy, successful, intelligent, or have a strong social position might also cue someone to look at you as a potential partner. Personally, I struggle with this idea though. I don't have a great social standing, but my intelligence is not usually denied by others and I have good career/education prospects. Even if it is possible to use those things in same way other people use attractiveness, is that okay? I think the idea is that a relationship that starts from a shallow appeal is not an honest one. But, I think that the reason people rely on those kinds of judgments is that they act like a clearance. I don't think most people stop with that, they just won't start if the appeal isn't there.
So, two questions:
Can other shallow appeals like wealth and power work to attract a partner, even if the person is unattractive?
Even if you hypothetically were able to start a relationship because the other person judged you for your wealth or standing, could that grow into something more honest as you got to know each other?
So, two questions:
Can other shallow appeals like wealth and power work to attract a partner, even if the person is unattractive?
Even if you hypothetically were able to start a relationship because the other person judged you for your wealth or standing, could that grow into something more honest as you got to know each other?