HiddenHydey
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- Joined
- Sep 18, 2007
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Does anyone else find this completely unsettling unless they have some kind of shield? I haven't left the house outside of school now for what must be going on 2 years. I think I went to a funeral but even that had a kind of uniform to hide behind.
Gah! It's 3am in the ******* morning and this is really pissing me off. Tomorrow I have to leave the house outside of a uniform, usually I just skip those sorts of things and stay in pretending to be sick, but this is something I really want to do, and if I don't go it could let other people down. I tried taking a walk in my own clothes yesterday, just around the village (it's a small place, 100-200 people and spread out) in the afternoon but I got as far as the road on the other side of the street.
I really ******* hate how completely spineless and stupid looking I am, and there's not a word anyone whose seen me would say against it. Fucks sake I can't even walk properly.
It's so stupid, it's a really good opportunity (I get to fly a plane!) and I should be looking forward to it. Instead I'm here.
I kinda just wanted to get this off my chest and onto the page so to speak. I'm only posting it cause it took me way too long to type and I'd feel even more stupid than I am now just to delete it. This is the first time I've seriously worried about someone I know seeing this, only my mother knows I'm like this, and you could work out it was me I bet. I lie so much is unbelievable. I'm probably lying right now. I probably didn't try to leave the house yesterday. I probably just thought about it, but thought about how I would look if I changed in the mirror and stayed ******* put. Too many things are ******* probable in this world, nothing is certain till it happens.
I've had a ******* nuff' of this. I'll probably try and get to sleep again.
Anyone else feel the same way about leaving the house and things?
Gah! It's 3am in the ******* morning and this is really pissing me off. Tomorrow I have to leave the house outside of a uniform, usually I just skip those sorts of things and stay in pretending to be sick, but this is something I really want to do, and if I don't go it could let other people down. I tried taking a walk in my own clothes yesterday, just around the village (it's a small place, 100-200 people and spread out) in the afternoon but I got as far as the road on the other side of the street.
I really ******* hate how completely spineless and stupid looking I am, and there's not a word anyone whose seen me would say against it. Fucks sake I can't even walk properly.
It's so stupid, it's a really good opportunity (I get to fly a plane!) and I should be looking forward to it. Instead I'm here.
I kinda just wanted to get this off my chest and onto the page so to speak. I'm only posting it cause it took me way too long to type and I'd feel even more stupid than I am now just to delete it. This is the first time I've seriously worried about someone I know seeing this, only my mother knows I'm like this, and you could work out it was me I bet. I lie so much is unbelievable. I'm probably lying right now. I probably didn't try to leave the house yesterday. I probably just thought about it, but thought about how I would look if I changed in the mirror and stayed ******* put. Too many things are ******* probable in this world, nothing is certain till it happens.
I've had a ******* nuff' of this. I'll probably try and get to sleep again.
Anyone else feel the same way about leaving the house and things?