Living my hard moments

[Depressedology]

It’s painful to live your hard moments while you know it. My life is full with hard moments. In every chapter of my life, I wish to close my eyes and skip years from it. The more I think about it, the more I want that skipping to happen. The further I go with age, the more times I want to skip. At what age will I want to skip it all? Am I waiting for that decision to happen? Assuming my fate will be going in the same direction as I'll be done with my youth age of 20s, yet no changes, then that decision is the only thing I see coming in the end. However, accordingly, a set of harmful decisions will be associated with that!-without going any further into details. Every time I reach some point in my judgment, I stop; addressing it as “over thinking.” Yet, I must be honest with myself about whether I actually referred to that to be over thinking just because I’m reluctant and not ready to face what it really is.
The truth is, I don’t have options or directions to take once I reach those results. It’s all bad I guess. How can we live when we don’t want to? time goes on as we talk, and our lives are being “consumed.” Do I really want to close my eyes forever to skip all what is happening? Am I facing it right now? Or is it matter of me being not brave enough yet?

 

[Steel]

I personally think it's important to live in the present - while the future (and for some people the past) may seem more attractive, it is better to see what you have now, and try to make the best of that.

 

[nerdygirl]

Our main choices are to live or die. Obviously, we do not want to just die. So from there, we must choose between living life to the fullest or dwelling in misery. What you do with your decision to live is up to you, but I try to wring every possible amount of pleasure from every moment, because if I have to be here anyway... I want to get all of the goodness out of the experience that I possibly can. I hope you figure out what the best solution is for you.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

i was at supermarket once and i was going through the checkout and there was this guy in his mid-late 40's who was a talkative chap, at one point he said that it would be great to go back and be 17 again.. he was talking mostly to the checkout person but i felt i had to say something, my response was, "what? and go through ALL THAT AGAIN????".... i noticed at least one person smirked at this..

my point is that for him, his 'young' years must've been pretty good, he seemed nostaligic for them.. that was his price..

my late teens and pretty much most of my twenties werent that fantastic.. so i dont yearn to be young again.. so whats left??

well, i work with guys that are around 60yrs old and whenever i moan about how life is hard and disappointing i get interesting reactions.. from, "you're doing fine, dont worry about it".. to laughter and "you've got a lot of living to do yet son".. i'm 34.

'you've got a lot of living to do yet'... that phrase has been bouncing around inside my head... they're right.. so what am i to do?

i'm learning to cook
i scored an old bike and have been going for rides
i bought a used phone with a decent camera in it.. i'm learning photography
i have rediscovered drawing again
i dusted off my old dumbbell for a bit of weight training
i went to the info session on volunteering at my local animal shelter
i repainted my bathroom
i read
i have tried wines i've never tried

anyway.. there is a lot of living to do.. i might NOT die for another 30-50 yrs.. gotta DO stuff..

'overthinking' is a bit of a craphole i agree.. it is also a state of mind.. it's weird but the best advice i can give on this is to 'snap' out of it.. play with your mind by concsiously not letting it do what it wants to do, like run the repetative loop over and over again.. whip it! teach it who's boss.. you are the master.

 

[Depressedology]

@Steel

(and for some people the past) may seem more attractive, it is better to see what you have now, and try to make the best of that.

For me, I saw my present in the past, and now I see my future. I know I'm going no where, just like happened in the past, and that's what I can't get off my head. So in other words, my present is pretty crappy, while future looks even worse. Nothing is attractive, that's why I don't have the will to explore it

Thanks Steel for your reply, and sorry if my argument felt useless or without meaning.

@nerdygirl

Our main choices are to live or die. Obviously, we do not want to just die. So from there, we must choose between living life to the fullest or dwelling in misery.

I was thinking

It’s all bad I guess. How can we live when we don’t want to?

I'm not excited about anything that's happening to me, so obviously I'm dwelling in misery, and what I think is that as I go further in age, my chances are getting small in number and size. I got so sick of it, I'm not even trying now, I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm controlling my life now in anyway, which means I will cause no change to it anytime_ I really want it to end

Thanks nerdy for your reply, and sorry if my argument felt useless or without meaning.

@Power2ThePeople

'you've got a lot of living to do yet'... that phrase has been bouncing around inside my head...

anyway.. there is a lot of living to do.. i might NOT die for another 30-50 yrs.. gotta DO stuff..
'overthinking' is a bit of a craphole i agree.. it is also a state of mind.. it's weird but the best advice i can give on this is to 'snap' out of it.. play with your mind by concsiously not letting it do what it wants to do, like run the repetative loop over and over again.. whip it! teach it who's boss.. you are the master.

Thanks for sharing this response, it meant a lot for me. I guess sometimes we can press the continue bottom and forget about the restart one.
That doesn't remove the fact that I' might continue from a trap I fell into while the race is going. That hope brings good possibility that might one day happen to my life, change it, renew it and make me learn stuff like happened to you. but for me, I still keep in my head that I have what it seems to be bigger possibility of nothing to happen and I continue to slide in this crappy way to even a darker area. what's bad is if I couldn't take it off my head, then it will happen... it'll be my expectations

Well, I can work on it, and wish it happens. thanks again