Loneliness is my fate

[Hawx79]

All my life ive been mostly alone but never as much as i do now at 32, and i feel like i failed utterly in life...
My current situation: Still havent found decent job (had to drop college because of depression), never had girlfriend, live alone, alone even during holidays, altough im a very down to earth friendly person nobody noone likes me or wants to hang out with me.
As i get older my depression grows stronger but i manage to keep it under by working out everyday going to boxing gym and running.
I wish i had nice woman, good job etc... But unfortunately upon my loss of a better fate all whats laid before me is now pure hate...
Sometimes i wish i never was born, but i still trying to fight back by going on vacation alone, live healthy and doing everyday tasks ever.
But still in the end im all alone and im afraid i die no one will remember me, and that really makes me wanna cry. Please...

 

[grainofrice24]

Hey man,

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Why don't you try making some changes in your life. Staying at home and fueling your hate will do you no good. Do something that you know will make things better. Search yourself and you'll come up with the answer. If you think it'll be difficult and hard to succeed at...you probably figured out the right thing to do.

 

[Badjedidude]

"Fate" is for movies and books.

Life/Living is about going out and MAKING honeysuckle happen.

 

[IgnoredOne]

My fate is to win.

 

[rosebud]

My fate is to be awesome!

That's the mentality you need to develop. What is fate anyway? It is a sort of self-comforting tool that can justify our shortcomings and failures. You still can have a wife, job, house, 2 kids and a dog named Astro - spending time in self-pity won't cut it though.

 

[StoneDeadAlready]

well if by still haven't found a decent job you mean you haven't found one at all,then it'd probably be best to focus on that.then you'll be getting out more and have one more thing to help take your mind off of depression (hopefully).and once you have a job and a car you should have an easy enough time finding a girlfriend on some online dating site at least (especially if your standards are low.)

other than that (hopefully i won't get banned for suggesting this) maybe try getting a medical marijuana card or something if its available where you live.you could try saying something like ow,my back hurts and i'm depressed,might help with the depression at least.it'd certainly be better than some anti-depressant pills.

and don't feel you're at a big disadvantage finding a job just because you dropped out of college,i dropped out of high school and believe me thats a real *****.

 

[LoneAs]

"Fate" & "Destiny" means alot to me. I mean if you try really hard at trying to get a decent job, a wife and you still have not been able to pull off a success, then it may be "Fate" & "Destiny". Maybe it was fate that you stumbled on this website? You have to atleast try and if you fail, it will hurt, you will cry a little bit, but you have to get up.

I believe that things happen for a reason, and maybe we are all drawn to this site to help each other recover. I suffer from loneliness and in a sense it hurts a lot, but it has taught me humility, how to see the best and worst in a person and individually i am very caring, humble and loyal, that may come from my neediness or loneliness, but they have developed into traits that make me a better person, which hopefully effects other people in a positive way.

Loneliness does hurt a lot, suicidal even, but from its depths can come positivity if you learn to live with it, accept it and develop this lack of fear of trying. At the end of everything its very fitting to atleast say "Hey, atleast I tried", you'll get a lot more from trying then you will from success.

Your post has probably helped a lot of people on this website relate, and for that they will remember you. I for one will remember you.

 

[Hawx79]

Thank you for your kind words, made me feel slightly better.

 

[beans]

Have you ever thought of going back to school?

Learning something that interests you?

For now, it might be good thinking about a career which you would like doing. THat would really help with getting a woman and your social life.

It is never too late. I once knew a 57 year old woman who wanted to go back to school to learn something because her husband cheated on her and she realized she never ever had a job or a career.

 

[JohnHenryEden]

It's never too late to be what you might have become.