I'm not lonely due to being shy anymore. If I am around a person long enough to determine that we have something we can talk about, I have no problem making conversation with them.
The real reason is that I'm caught in this limbo zone. I don't like the people that are around here, because they are neither physically appealing enough for me nor are they interesting enough. If I turn someone down, it's for one of those two reasons, or both. And yet, it is me who is neither physically appealing enough nor interesting enough for the ones I want. Even though I'm not a bad-looking guy, even though we have stuff in common, even though we can have conversations that go into what we actually care about, way past the superficial.
Also, I'm too nice. When I meet a girl I like, I am nice to her. I tell her I will listen to her. I don't act dismissive of her, I don't put her down or call her stupid, I don't fake that I don't care about her, I don't play hot-cold games with her. I act kind and interested because I care. Maybe that's my problem. But the thing is, I don't want to be a jerk. I don't want to act the way that jerks do, I don't want to like the things they like, I don't want to dress how they dress, listen to what they listen to, and so forth. I don't want to be cocky, I don't want to mock everything, I don't want to be tough or act "hard". I don't have any element of danger to me, and I don't really want one either. But it makes women think I'm boring. I don't want to be the kind of person that's always be trying to be too cool for wherever I am or whatever I'm doing. I always hated how people did that growing up, all the way back to elementary school. It always looked so stupid to me, so forced and so cliche, but that's what it seems that pretty, fascinating girls are drawn to like moths to light. I don't know. It seems like you either have to be a Jersey Shore type, trying to be some rapper, or some Hell's Angels wannabe. I'm tired of being alone but if it takes becoming an arrogant, thuggish ********* to get a girl, I just don't know that I could even do it if I wanted to.
And now it's too late anyway.