Long Distance Relationships

[lonewolf]

Just to add my tuppence on LDRs... theyre hard.. really really hard, they require dedication, a heck load of trust, patience, a lot of love, and an acceptance that things might not work... and if they do what happens down the line.

I've been in an LDR now for some 3 and half years, i cant begin to tell you how hard its been, being away from that one person who brings meaning into your life for so long, only physically seeing each other once or twice a year for a couple of weeks at a time is tough.. and the hardest part is saying goodbye after those 2 weeks... if you think the 1st time is the hardest - think again because each time you meet your bond gets stronger making it harder to say goodbye.

Thankfully for us our time apart is hopefully going to come to an end, as we'll be tying the knot in Nov and hopefully having our visa approved for me to move to be with her on a permanent basis... but it does now open up a whole new range of questions and emotions...

* what if it doesnt work out after a few years
* omg im having to leave my family, friends, my home / hometown behind, when will i see them again?
* what happens if something happens to my family after i've moved.. i dont think im going to be able to afford to travel if i have multiple deaths and yet id want to be there
* what if something happens to my partner when i get there... without her what would i have, id be in a new country, where nobody knows me and i have very little.
* what if my visa isn't approved... what then? its a strain on us both even now being apart this long.

In short, LDRs are tough and scary too..that first meeting is a nail-biter they require a lot of dedication, understanding, sacrifice (not of the ritual variety).. I don't think they're for everyone, but if both partners are wanting the same thing, and work as a team through all the trials and tribulations of an LDR, then the reward is worth the effort.

And thats partly why im still knocking around on here too, cos im lonely. yes i have a fiancee who loves me wholeheartedly, and i would never doubt that for a second.. but being away from her is worse than having noone.. i learnt to accept being alone, got used to it.. but knowing that someone out there is hurting because you're not with them.. or if they're sick and theres nothing that you can do but to talk with them on the phone, that hurts so much more because you want to be there to comfort them, look after them, protect them, whatever.

My advise, think very carefully about entering an LDR.. don't just think about the here and now but the far future too and what it would mean for you in the years to come. I don't want to discourage anyone from having one, but yea.. be prepared to be tested, and to make sacrifices.

 

[WishingWell]

For me, it would never work. I want to be in a relationship in which I can see my significant other often and go out and do other things with him not just once in a while...plus it would cost too much money to visit each other often enough. Totally against long distance relationships!

 

[IgnoredOne]

Its possible, but expensive. I managed it until the girl moved in with me(though I had to pay for the trip, and many, many complications on top of that).

 

[aspeckofdust]

I've fallen hard for a couple people online over the years, but it's never turned into an actual relationship of any kind. I'd be open to trying one though, if I met the right person. I probably wouldn't even bother with it if the other person lived outside of the US though. Actually, I wouldn't write that off completely either. But it'd depend on a few things too then.

 

[PurpleDays]

I've met someone who is just lovely.
But lives far away.
Early days, still.
And he may just get bored of me.
But he makes my heart ache.

 

[aspeckofdust]

I've met someone who is just lovely.
But lives far away.
Early days, still.
And he may just get bored of me.
But he makes my heart ache.

I know how that is. Seems like anyone I meet online that I fall for lives halfway across the country, if not further. And I frequently have the fear of them getting bored with me, despite how nonsensical that seems when I try to look at it from a point of view other than my own.

Plus there's always things like, at least in the early days, not knowing how they feel about you. It's never an easy subject to bring up either when you're unsure, because you risk losing them as a friend if it goes really bad. And then if you find out they don't feel the same, it doesn't make it any easier because you can't just change how you feel about someone like that. :|

 

[Drcynic]

My girlfriend lives in Sydney and I live in Pittsburgh. 9600 miles... She's the only person whom I've ever been able to trust and was not joking about being attracted to me. I know her and I trust her and I love her. I wouldn't ever give her up because she's one in a million.