Looking for suggestions

[Lacoste44]

Good evening people,

I am in 24 and live at home with my parents and have no social life outside my job. I work in a hardware store in the back doing receiving, and have a good shift working till 4pm and have weekends off. My salary is around 40,000 a year with no college or uni. The only way to really advance in the company would be to do sales and I find my self very shy maybe a little lack of confidence or I just don't want to talk to people, I also don't show any initiative to the job. I've looked at college courses but nothing really interests me at this point.

Thing is I go to work Mon-Fri and I have no outside life with friends on weekends or after work. Sometimes I hate going to work because of all the politic crap that goes along with it and the manager just makes rules up as we go along. People show up late 5 mins everyday and nothing is done about it just cause there with the company for 15 years. Some days are so boring, and I think to my self imagine your self here at 40 years old being so bored.


I enjoy getting out golfing when the weather get's nicer, but find I find it hard to go out and do stuff on my own. The town I live in isn't full of young people and I think my chances of finding a friend or even girl friend are slim. Also everyone basically knows everyone around here it seams to, you can't go anywhere without knowing someone. All the people I work with are 35 years or older and have families. So many times I have wrote a letter to my parents talking about committing suicide, but later through the letter away because I know this is a easy way out and life isn't really that bad.

Any thoughts

 

[Lonesome Crow]

At 40 K you should be able to have your own place..this way you can bring women to your place and do whatever.
It makes a big differents to have a place of your own. On the flip side you'll be living alone..so you're force to go
out and have a social life but without the worry and hazzle of what hell your parents are going to say.

You're simply not going have a life of your own if you continue to live with your parents.

See..it's kind of crazy thinking..you say you live where everybody knows everybody..So why in the hell don't
you know anybody? It just seems that way.

Stop worrying so much what every else is doing..such as other people coming in to work late...
Just focus on what you want and need to do. In other words stop worrying so god **** much what people thinks about you.
You can start taking college course. No none of that honeysuckle interest me either...but
it is what it is. Take some bussiness classes, or art and music classes...expand your horrizon.

If you want your life to change..you're the person that's going to have to do it.
You can always find a chick or a 29 year old that has her own place and looking for a roomate.lol

Be grateful for what you have...honeysuckle i wouldn't mind woking in recieving for 40K p/year. That's kick back work.
And living at home with mom and dad with no bills

 

[Brian]

I definitely think you need to move out. 40k? Lol I was out on my own and paying for college at 20k a year...you'll do just fine on 40,000 I reckon.

The independence and self-sufficiency really helps the pride and self esteem, not to mention the social life. People look at you differently when you move out on your own. And like Crow said, it at least gives you the option to bring women over if you're able to.


Have you considered the military?

 

[Badjedidude]

$40,000????

Holy Jesus Bijimminy...what's stopping you, man? Get the fresia out on your own and start tearing this world up, dude!!!

Or at least send me some o'dat dere cash!

 

[Zak]

40k is like..um.. well... I dont think i have ever had that much money with me

 

[VanillaCreme]

**** 40k a year.... Where can I get a job like that? That's really good. Like Brian said, you'll do fine on that. I literally have to keep my household afloat on less than half of that a year. And when the time is right, you'll find the right woman of your life.

 

[PhryskO]

It makes a big differents to have a place of your own. On the flip side you'll be living alone..so you're force to go
out and have a social life but without the worry and hazzle of what hell your parents are going to say.

You're simply not going have a life of your own if you continue to live with your parents.

If you want your life to change..you're the person that's going to have to do it.

Be grateful for what you have...

And living at home with mom and dad with no bills

I agree..

You're the only one that can make your life on how you want it to be and theres no reason to complain if you dont do anything about it. You have no one else to blame if you dont want to make those changes in your life.

But still, it sounds like you lack confidence to make these changes. I know its always had to break routine but sometimes breaking out of your comfort zone presents a whole lot of new possiblities. Honestly, your already on the boat because you know what you want.. but you cant set sail to discover new horizons if your not willing to cut the rope that ties you to the docks.

---

It makes a big differents to have a place of your own. On the flip side you'll be living alone..so you're force to go
out and have a social life but without the worry and hazzle of what hell your parents are going to say.

You're simply not going have a life of your own if you continue to live with your parents.

If you want your life to change..you're the person that's going to have to do it.

Be grateful for what you have...

And living at home with mom and dad with no bills

I agree..

You're the only one that can make your life on how you want it to be and theres no reason to complain if you dont do anything about it. You have no one else to blame if you dont want to make those changes in your life.

But still, it sounds like you lack confidence to make these changes. I know its always had to break routine but sometimes breaking out of your comfort zone presents a whole lot of new possiblities. Honestly, your already on the boat because you know what you want.. but you cant set sail to discover new horizons if your not willing to cut the rope that ties you to the docks.

 

[Lacoste44]

Hey guy's I appreciate your replies. I had a really depressed week again, I really feel I can never move on or don't know what to do. I come home from work and I just get in this moody mood. I sometimes fight with my parents cause they ask such stupid questions then half hour later I feel guilty because there only parents I have and why do I get worked up over a stupid question. I usually am pretty happy at work joking with co-workers but times get really pissed off, but that's going to come with any job.

How would moving out of my parents house improve my social life, I have no friends to invite over besides people from work who are 10-15 years older. Sometimes I get really frustrated with all the meat heads who live in my town just by there driving. It's not like I will strike up a conversation at the grocery store with some young girl and ask her out. I am quite the shy person to start with in till I get to know you.

I have also wanted to be a airline pilot that involves a lot of money and the chance of being in debt and also the fact I would have to move to a bigger city to learn how to fly as there is know school where I live. The industry is a bit in the toilet to start with but I think, least I will be busy to not have to think about friends and stuff. I don't know anymore :-(

 

[marfles7]

Have you tried online dating? I ask cause i see that you really wanna meet people. And when it's not working in the "real" world, you can always try online. Well, it's easy to say it, i'm too **** shy myself. But you can try that and meet people in your area that way.

 

[bugzapper]

Good evening people,

I am in 24 and live at home with my parents and have no social life outside my job. I work in a hardware store in the back doing receiving, and have a good shift working till 4pm and have weekends off. My salary is around 40,000 a year with no college or uni. The only way to really advance in the company would be to do sales and I find my self very shy maybe a little lack of confidence or I just don't want to talk to people, I also don't show any initiative to the job. I've looked at college courses but nothing really interests me at this point.

Thing is I go to work Mon-Fri and I have no outside life with friends on weekends or after work. Sometimes I hate going to work because of all the politic crap that goes along with it and the manager just makes rules up as we go along. People show up late 5 mins everyday and nothing is done about it just cause there with the company for 15 years. Some days are so boring, and I think to my self imagine your self here at 40 years old being so bored.


I enjoy getting out golfing when the weather get's nicer, but find I find it hard to go out and do stuff on my own. The town I live in isn't full of young people and I think my chances of finding a friend or even girl friend are slim. Also everyone basically knows everyone around here it seams to, you can't go anywhere without knowing someone. All the people I work with are 35 years or older and have families. So many times I have wrote a letter to my parents talking about committing suicide, but later through the letter away because I know this is a easy way out and life isn't really that bad.

Any thoughts

heres a thought.. the median household income to be considered middle class in the USA is 50K... and that is household income. You are almost making that solo. If you cant afford to move out, you either do not understand personal finance, or you are a gambling addict. Im going to bet you simply do not know how to save/spend/fiance/budget. SO, listen.. at 40 K you at least have a foot up in todays economy. Move out and learn to manage your money, and remember to SAVE.

Besides that, i cant help you.. im miserable as hell too.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well.... you could hang out with your co-workers. Often times you can meet people through others.

 

[AndrewM]

How would moving out of my parents house improve my social life, I have no friends to invite over besides people from work who are 10-15 years older.

What about sharing a place without one or two other people? This can turn out badly if you move in with the wrong people, or if you're easily irritated by others. But it could also be exactly what someone in your situation needs. I agree that moving straight out of home into a place all by yourself could be quite isolating.

Although moving out is a daunting prospect, it's the only way you're ever going to achieve independence. And the day will come sooner or later when you'll have to start looking after yourself. A lot of people move out without any money and without knowing anyone, and yet they still manage to make a life for themselves. The other thing I'd mention is that when you move out you might find that your relationship with your parents improves - that's certainly what I found.

 

[Broken]

Be careful about moving out too soon.

I moved out at your exact age and I was the same as you, just work/home/eat/sleep/work, no friends, no relationships, all co-workers were idiots who I had nothing in common with or they were all wayyy older.

I thought getting my own place would allow me to grow up and start to do normal things, in reality I just became worse. I can go whole days without speaking to a single person now, the only people I see are my parents and even then we just talk rubbish with no meaning.

I would say before you move out sort out the social side of things, I don't know how to make friends or meet women but it really is something you need to work out before isolating yourself in your own place.

Now my house is about to be repossessed (less than a week) and I'll be filing for personal bankruptcy, I'll be moving into a spare room at my mum's house so I really have gone backwards. I'm now 30 and I basically have nothing to show for my life.

 

[Brian]

You know, for what it's worth, older friends aren't that bad.

Most of my 'best' friends are at least 10 years older than me. One of them, who's 39, is even my semi-regular workout buddy. And I don't think I've ever gotten along with anybody as well as I did Dale, my 51 y/o coworker where I last worked. I still need to call him up and go fishing, now that the weather's nice.

They're more grown-up, and generally more honest, than people our own age.

 

[Broken]

It's not the age that's the problem per se, it's that older people generally have wives and kids, so doing the things you need to do to go out and meet women or more friends your own age is a problem for them. You know, they usually have stuff to do, where as you need someone you can phone up on a whim to see if they fancy going out tonight or whatever.

I've always got on better with older people, but when it comes down to it you need people your own age to relate to and socialise with.

 

[arkitek4]

Is it really that serious of a problem, I mean do people in your country have problems with finding a date? I often wondered in a more developed country where woman are more liberal that it would be easier to find dates. Anyway, are ok to converse with. Yes you will learn a lot from them, I should know Im already 32. And broken is right on that. You need people your age so that you can go crazy, so that when you grow old, have kids of your own, and later grand kids you will have something to look back on and a ton of stories to tell them.

Watch the movie "The Girl Next Door". After I watch that, I asked my self the same question. Put a smile on my face when I started to remember.

 

[cpd0713]

this post makes sense. when you are shy, you just can't do some of the suggestions of well-meaning posters. when you're shy, you are unable to take some necessary steps. sometimes you're shy all your life, except with certain people. maybe you will be lucky enough to find people who appreciate you for who you are.

just take a break and start again on a path. do not give up. be the survivor that you have been so far. you sound like a survivor. i am shy but i am a survivor. i go thru the down times, but eventually i pick myself up and start over and over again. it sucks.

i like the suggestion to register for a class. (whether it be educational or a fun-type class). i have taken drawing, painting, italian, spanish, social studies, meditaiton, yoga, etc etc.....please google up area airfields and programs they offer. they may offer programs or classes for other than pilot. they may even offer volunteer type programs.

I usually meet someone or a few with similiar interests at class. although they may not end up being my best friend, it gets me through the down times for a few months.

i just start by asking dumb questions, like 'do you know how long this class goes or when is class finished', or do you know what time it is...or can i borrow a piece of paper, etc.....usually most people at class want to break the ice too and talk to someone.

of course, not everyone...but so what!! dont give up!

moving out of parents house may not make you any happier, sometimes it's just worse. dont do this until you are ready, only you can make the decision that it's time to move out. i have lived a long time and found that no one is happy all the time. Most are luck to have happy moments and should just cherish those moments. and dont give up!

----

Be careful about moving out too soon.

I moved out at your exact age and I was the same as you, just work/home/eat/sleep/work, no friends, no relationships, all co-workers were idiots who I had nothing in common with or they were all wayyy older.

I thought getting my own place would allow me to grow up and start to do normal things, in reality I just became worse. I can go whole days without speaking to a single person now, the only people I see are my parents and even then we just talk rubbish with no meaning.

I would say before you move out sort out the social side of things, I don't know how to make friends or meet women but it really is something you need to work out before isolating yourself in your own place.

Now my house is about to be repossessed (less than a week) and I'll be filing for personal bankruptcy, I'll be moving into a spare room at my mum's house so I really have gone backwards. I'm now 30 and I basically have nothing to show for my life.

.........SO SORRY, JUST DONT GIVE UP....after you re-group.....you can start again....trust me.....it is possible....i have started over more times than i care to admit. xxoo

---

sorry.........with your type of personality, take it from me(i have already done this).....do not share your place with someone else. i guarantee you will be sorry until you learn more of life's lessons. people will take advantage your shy personality.

How would moving out of my parents house improve my social life, I have no friends to invite over besides people from work who are 10-15 years older.

What about sharing a place without one or two other people? This can turn out badly if you move in with the wrong people, or if you're easily irritated by others. But it could also be exactly what someone in your situation needs. I agree that moving straight out of home into a place all by yourself could be quite isolating.

Although moving out is a daunting prospect, it's the only way you're ever going to achieve independence. And the day will come sooner or later when you'll have to start looking after yourself. A lot of people move out without any money and without knowing anyone, and yet they still manage to make a life for themselves. The other thing I'd mention is that when you move out you might find that your relationship with your parents improves - that's certainly what I found.