ConflictedSoul93
New member
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2011
- Messages
- 4
- Reaction score
- 0
I came here to vent out all of my emotions, stress, sadness, everything of how im feeling at the moment....So here I go...Hopefully someone will listen.
My whole years of high school has shapen up the person I am today...A depressed cold sad and heartless person who has nothing to look forward to life anymore. As much as I try to get my mind off things, be positive, try to at least have hope, and somewhat confidence...It always...ALWAYS backfires.
Personally, I have no time for love in my heart anymore...I refuse to be with someone who has more than me, I'm a high school graduate, I've been looking for a job for almost a year, I've been accepted to a private college that I declined because I couldnt afford it...Now im at a technical College that i never wanted to go to,Now im stuck with taking more classes than needed which is holding me back,Relationships sucks,Financial status suck major ass, I have no car, Me and my mother constantly argue now becase of these facts, and $3.00 in my bank acount....Everyones doors are opening accept for mines,everyone Going off to college, working making money, or going into the military...Which I all wanted...But i have none...And I can't take it anymore...I used to drink and smoke the pain away but i had to stop that habit...Music and writing became my way of easing my pain. I seriously don't want to be here anymore, Im sick of internally crying, and I contemplate more and more eachday without anycare.
I dn't wana be shy, lacking confidence, I can't seem to talk to people (be social) or feel happy, I've lost interest in things that I use to love doing, and i speak softly which is natural...Sometimes i wish I could stop wishing...An just change....People tell me not to change...But I am...into a bitter and melocholy person who rarely smile anymore because i have nothing to smile about...Slowly but surely im losing my personality...My beliefs of everything have lacked and almost fading away...All the dreams that i wanted to accomplished are never going to happen...I honestly think its bad luck. IDK....I jus want it to end. This depression, headaches, sadness, pain, torture, tears, heartaches, etc....To End.
I Honestly don't know what to do anymore...I only have doubts. I can't feel any emotion anymore...Everything is neutral and im nonchalant....Im jus tired of life right now...
My whole years of high school has shapen up the person I am today...A depressed cold sad and heartless person who has nothing to look forward to life anymore. As much as I try to get my mind off things, be positive, try to at least have hope, and somewhat confidence...It always...ALWAYS backfires.
Personally, I have no time for love in my heart anymore...I refuse to be with someone who has more than me, I'm a high school graduate, I've been looking for a job for almost a year, I've been accepted to a private college that I declined because I couldnt afford it...Now im at a technical College that i never wanted to go to,Now im stuck with taking more classes than needed which is holding me back,Relationships sucks,Financial status suck major ass, I have no car, Me and my mother constantly argue now becase of these facts, and $3.00 in my bank acount....Everyones doors are opening accept for mines,everyone Going off to college, working making money, or going into the military...Which I all wanted...But i have none...And I can't take it anymore...I used to drink and smoke the pain away but i had to stop that habit...Music and writing became my way of easing my pain. I seriously don't want to be here anymore, Im sick of internally crying, and I contemplate more and more eachday without anycare.
I dn't wana be shy, lacking confidence, I can't seem to talk to people (be social) or feel happy, I've lost interest in things that I use to love doing, and i speak softly which is natural...Sometimes i wish I could stop wishing...An just change....People tell me not to change...But I am...into a bitter and melocholy person who rarely smile anymore because i have nothing to smile about...Slowly but surely im losing my personality...My beliefs of everything have lacked and almost fading away...All the dreams that i wanted to accomplished are never going to happen...I honestly think its bad luck. IDK....I jus want it to end. This depression, headaches, sadness, pain, torture, tears, heartaches, etc....To End.
I Honestly don't know what to do anymore...I only have doubts. I can't feel any emotion anymore...Everything is neutral and im nonchalant....Im jus tired of life right now...