Im not sure if I can post this here because its not just a relationship thing per se but rather a "whole life" thing.
But here goes.
A few years ago I found myself in a really bad relationship and I let it affect my studies, failed one year of university and decided to take a year off after that. Now I've finally graduated, I feel like I have found no path to follow and feel like I've wasted so much time. I look around me and see that all of my friends have moved on and have managed to find a place for themselves in this world and I feel like such a loser for not having been able to pull my self together and have finished two years ago like I was supposed to, I feel like I will never be able to amount to anything because I wasted all this time!!
The saddest thing about all of this "problem" is that I still think about my ex boyfriend. Even though he was such a jerk, a cheater and obviously not right for me, I still think about him. Im in a relationship right now with a man who is great... he is sweet, generous, and very considerate of my feelings and tries hard to make me happy.... but I constantly compare him to my ex, and cant stop having all these negative thoughts about both of them.
My ex cheated on me and it took me 2 years to finally forgive him and everyone involved... but I still think about it. Now, I add this insecurity plus my feelings of underachieving and I compare myself to all around me (even the girl that he cheated on me with) and I go crazy. I have this constant fear that my current boyfriend will cheat on me because he will see me as a failure or will leave me once I fail to amount to anything later on. Im scared. Im sad and need advice. I know it sounds like a typical case of "shes not over her ex" or "shes emotionally scarred" but I think I need to feel like I am not the only one who has been through something like this or to hear advice on how to be better in my current relationship (new fear: I will scare him off by being crazy and thinking all these things?---gotta love the internet forums as a way to vent-- )or be better in my search for a career/place in the world. I want to be successful in all of these things but I just dont know how or where to start...
ahhhhh
help.
But here goes.
A few years ago I found myself in a really bad relationship and I let it affect my studies, failed one year of university and decided to take a year off after that. Now I've finally graduated, I feel like I have found no path to follow and feel like I've wasted so much time. I look around me and see that all of my friends have moved on and have managed to find a place for themselves in this world and I feel like such a loser for not having been able to pull my self together and have finished two years ago like I was supposed to, I feel like I will never be able to amount to anything because I wasted all this time!!
The saddest thing about all of this "problem" is that I still think about my ex boyfriend. Even though he was such a jerk, a cheater and obviously not right for me, I still think about him. Im in a relationship right now with a man who is great... he is sweet, generous, and very considerate of my feelings and tries hard to make me happy.... but I constantly compare him to my ex, and cant stop having all these negative thoughts about both of them.
My ex cheated on me and it took me 2 years to finally forgive him and everyone involved... but I still think about it. Now, I add this insecurity plus my feelings of underachieving and I compare myself to all around me (even the girl that he cheated on me with) and I go crazy. I have this constant fear that my current boyfriend will cheat on me because he will see me as a failure or will leave me once I fail to amount to anything later on. Im scared. Im sad and need advice. I know it sounds like a typical case of "shes not over her ex" or "shes emotionally scarred" but I think I need to feel like I am not the only one who has been through something like this or to hear advice on how to be better in my current relationship (new fear: I will scare him off by being crazy and thinking all these things?---gotta love the internet forums as a way to vent-- )or be better in my search for a career/place in the world. I want to be successful in all of these things but I just dont know how or where to start...
ahhhhh
help.