Love in 5 stages: here are the different phases of a relationship

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Apr 11, 2020
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Phase 1: the big craze
At the beginning of the relationship, we are generally totally euphoric. As if wearing rose-colored glasses, we see the partner in a very idealized way. Flaws, weaknesses? NEVER. The explanation? We don't see them because hormones prevent us from realistically pinpointing our beloved partner. You are only waiting for one thing: to find the other person, overwhelm them with attention and let the excitement rise as soon as you are with the other person
This first phase, the one where you fall in love, lasts between 3 to 18 months (for those who are the luckiest). But you have to be aware of it: this phase will inevitably pass at one time or another. It's normal. Yet what comes next is good too and just as important, because being madly in love gives way to a deeper feeling.
Obviously, this requires that we go through this perfect first phase without too much difficulty and that we agree to switch to another feeling. Unfortunately, many people are addicted to the feeling of butterflies in their stomachs and break up as soon as everyday life takes over. They refuse the routine and opt for the break. However, this is part of the phases of the couple's relationship

Phase 2: goodbye to the enchanted period!
This phase is important and it happens sooner or later in every relationship. This is the moment when mad love slowly unravels and you can finally perceive the other more clearly - with their weaknesses, their fears, their idiosyncrasies. And yours too.
You know yourself better now and often wonder why you never noticed any of his quirks earlier. At this stage, you take stock of your couple and your relationship. If the expectations of each other can be met, if the goals in life are similar, and if the habits are consistent with each other, then there is a good chance that it will be a done relationship to last
This is the time when you decide if you are good together. Unfortunately, at this stage of the relationship, many break up because one or the other – or both – realize that the relationship does not hold on solid enough foundations, that the discussions you have together are dwindling . Yet this is where the "torque" really begins. Because it is only from this phase that being in love can be transformed into a deep feeling of love. For some, it will be a dead end, for others, it's the beginning of a beautiful and solid love story.

Phase 3: oppositions and education attempts
Sometimes it's just the tube of toothpaste left open that makes us roll our eyes in annoyance, sometimes more than just a detail. Yet anyone who now thinks they can still nurture and reshape their partner to their will is wrong and will learn it the hard way. The good side of this rather difficult phase: those who cross this stage together will end up in calmer waters. To do this however, both partners must learn to compromise and accept their partner for who he or she is

Phase 4: It's time to take stock
Water has flowed under the bridges and here is the famous "seventh year" pointing the tip of his nose. Already, know that the timing is not always the same for everyone. Sometimes it's a little sooner, sometimes later, but that's where the decision is made whether a couple will stay together for the long term. The little power struggles are over and you look at yourself more again. The time has come to take stock. Do I have enough space for me? Is there also an "I" next to the "we"? Am I still independent? Is the common path the one that is also the right one for me?
If you can answer these questions in the affirmative, you will see: life as a couple gives both security but can also prove to be a good basis for flourishing as an individual. And try things that we would not have dared to single

Phase 5: trust and security in the other
Of all the stages of a relationship, this is the best. We took stock and one thing is clear: the other is important to me, he/she enriches me and vice versa. The couple went through many phases, endured many storms together, mastered small and big crises together, and it resulted in a close-knit romantic relationship. After phase 4, during which you took better care of yourself, you get closer to each other again.
In this new stage, confidence is well established. Everyone can therefore give themselves freedom without fear. After all, you've both worked hard for this for the past few years, between struggles, heated discussions, fights and misunderstandings. Living together and living independently can now combine harmoniously without one partner feeling neglected. There are no more unrealistic expectations, no more charade, and you don't project anything into your partner that they can't satisfy at all.
You have come to know yourself and you love yourself as you are. This is love. Without embellishment or fireworks but with sound bases, common but also independent desires. Anyone who has gone through all the phases of a relationship and made it here can count themselves very lucky.
Colster's 5 stages of relationship.

1. Lust. Playful flirting at shared public events.

2. Dates. Typically an extension of the above, but with additional privacy outside of social networking.

3 Lust. The Carnal Knowledge aspects, tuned to 11.

4. Dependency. Barely a spare moment goes by without a call, text, or their presence being felt. The flirting has been replaced with conversations about family problems, work issues, the old lady's cat called Colin, who has gone missing, and you are the only human on the planet who can help. All conversation will circle back to whatever they see fit to discuss. Your "Your time" is suddenly allocated without consultation. The "you" that you thought you were, is being altered molecule by molecule.

5. Jealousy. One day you will be doing something innocuous, perhaps shopping in a supermarket. You.happen to make passing conversation with the girl or lady at the counter or till. You won't know that you have done wrong until much later that day, maybe even not until the weekend. However, your beloved will rip down the walls of Hell, to accuse you of cheating. Yes, the girl who is half your age at the counter, or the lady twice your age at the till, either, both, maybe even with their husbands watching.

Eventually, it becomes any woman who you speak to. Likewise, if you speak to another man, you are plotting with him, to meet other women. All your friends who stated quite clearly that they saw you painting your parents fence, are lying; you were cheating.

* I genuinely wish that this was a joke. Sadly, it isn't. Likewise, it has not only happened the once, but rather several times over, in marginally different degrees. You soon learn to read the signs.

In my experience, ladies of my age, and social group and community, just are not worth approaching. Alcohol has a damaging factor. Age, and direct insecurities of that, along with more generalised insecurities, social expectations, and attempting to create media perfect images; it's all just one massive mess.

Guys sometimes get jealous of my luck with beautiful women. I have indeed dated some truly stunning ladies. But few, very few have a beautiful soul. Often too, they accuse you of what they are guilty of!

I walked away a little over 2 years ago, and have never looked back.


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