Love is horrible!

[BlueArtist]

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… you give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like “maybe we should be just friends” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

The above sums it up quite nicely!

Never again am I going to fall again, from now on everything I do will be about me. Never will I care again for anybody, they do not deserve that which I had ample to share. I was naive and to stubborn to think that there could be someone out there for me, well it is BULL honeysuckle! I'm a looser and will always be one, no matter how hard I try or work it will never happen. Time I make peace with the fact that I will grow old and die alone. Halfway through my life in any case.

Good bye!

 

[Romeo Echo]

The first part is a very pessimistic view of Love, but one that I think is partly true nevertheless.

Never again am I going to fall again, from now on everything I do will be about me. Never will I care again for anybody, they do not deserve that which I had ample to share. I was naive and to stubborn to think that there could be someone out there for me, well it is BULL honeysuckle! I'm a looser and will always be one, no matter how hard I try or work it will never happen. Time I make peace with the fact that I will grow old and die alone. Halfway through my life in any case.

Good bye!

Sadly, I don't think anyone can enforce that amount of repression and control on their feelings, much of people's plight in romance is out of their own hands. I applaud you for trying though!

 

[jjam]

Remove the "returns" from the idea of love. Love to love, not to be loved. There's nothing horrible about that.

 

[blackdot]

I think love would be great if it wasn't just a one-way trip to pain.
I always kept my heart locked away. Protecting myself from the pain everyone else goes through. Then one day a few years ago, I decided to open it. Got hurt pretty much immediately. Tried again and this time I thought I figured it out. After 2 years I found out it was just a 1-way relationship. I loved her. She thought we were just friends. I was torn. I found out that day how much a heart physically weighs. It weighs 10 pounds as that is literally how much weight i instantly lost when my heart was ripped out.

I've slowly tried growing a new heart but I know it's just going to get ripped back out once I open up again.

 

[jjam]

love a friend

nothing horrible about that


I will love you if I never hold your hand, if I never kiss you, if I never have sex with you. I will love you if you never call me, if we never meet again, if you do not love me.

grow a new heart? how about instead of the idea that your heart was ripped out, there's proof that your heart has truly grown when you can truly love someone who has not and will not reciprocate? the path to an unbreakable heart!

have I lost my mind or something? I think not!

 

[kamya]

I think you might have =P

 

[Pezza]

Come on Blackdot, You may have lost your heart but theres always that chance that one day a woman will give her one to you...

 

[blackdot]

at my age, that's very unlikely.
A friend of mine told me I was too old to date, just today. *laughs*

 

[Pezza]

Too old to date? Don't believe that for one second! Unless your profile picture was taken 40 years ago, You've got plenty of time left.

I don't know your friend, he may be a smart person but that comment he made to you today was utter Bull

 

[blackdot]

no, she wants someone her age. Not someone much older. I don't blame her. I had a feeling that's how she felt. Actually she didn't directly say I was too old but she said too many guys in the upper 30's ask her out and that is too old for her. That means I'm too old for her. *laughs*

I don't get along with women my age. They expect someone that has experience. I still don't know what it's like to really kiss someone. Don't have an idea how to kiss someone.
Women my age are either married, been married before, or have no interest in dating.
I'm way too old to start trying to learn how to date.

 

[Arsenic Queen]

Sadly, I don't think anyone can enforce that amount of repression and control on their feelings, much of people's plight in romance is out of their own hands.

...so true.

 

[In a lonely place]

Never again am I going to fall again, from now on everything I do will be about me. Never will I care again for anybody, they do not deserve that which I had ample to share. I was naive and to stubborn to think that there could be someone out there for me, well it is BULL honeysuckle! I'm a looser and will always be one, no matter how hard I try or work it will never happen. Time I make peace with the fact that I will grow old and die alone. Halfway through my life in any case.

Good bye!

I fall for people way too easily and I end up getting hurt. I think I read things into innocent gestures and people who just want to be friendly. But I am learning, slowly, very slowly. If you say you are half way through your life then I am getting on for 2 thirds through mine.
And I still hope to meet someone I could be close to.
At the age of 47 I kissed someone on the lips for the first time, it wasn't someone I knew very well, but it did mean a lot to me, and I'm glad it happened. So there is hope. There is pain too, but a little hope aswell.

 

[blackdot]

I fall for people way too easily and I end up getting hurt. I think I read things into innocent gestures and people who just want to be friendly.

my God i know how that is.. I know all too well. If a female talks to me I immediately get the wrong impression. I've been hurt way too many times when i thought there was something and it was just someone who was being friendly. It's even worse if we end up doing something together later on like a community service activity...


Ironically the person I was talking to some posts up in this thread is linked directly to one of those instances.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

****...
And I got honeysuckle for banging a 19
Yrs old chick a yr and a half
Ago. I believed i turn 44 at the
Time.
And that's the **** hammer
On the nail....
As if im going gave weight to
Whatever the hell opinion
Some chick say.

My life isnt perfect..but seriously
Dudes snap the fresia out of it.

Life is not without pains.
All this depression and
Lonliness is painful as
fresia too...

---

Self pity got me no where.
The pains I was feeling got me off of my ass.

It wasnt a magic fucken trick. I have the net.
I did my homework.
Research on all kinds
Of subjects

---

You are not your feelings...
You have feelings.
Your emotions comes from
Inside of you.

Yoi are not your thoughts
You have thoights.

You are not your relief.
You have beliefs.

---

Just becase some chick said whatever the
fresia dosnt make it true.

You ran with that bullshit.

So if a chich tells you, you're
A stud...
Why in the fresia wont you
Run with that?
Its the same mother fucken process.

 

[Romeo Echo]

my God i know how that is.. I know all too well. If a female talks to me I immediately get the wrong impression. I've been hurt way too many times when i thought there was something and it was just someone who was being friendly. It's even worse if we end up doing something together later on

Amen to this

 

[Arsenic Queen]

my God i know how that is.. I know all too well. If a female talks to me I immediately get the wrong impression. I've been hurt way too many times when i thought there was something and it was just someone who was being friendly. It's even worse if we end up doing something together later on

Amen to this

Indeed. Even worse if the person seems to give in to some promises of acceptance and not judging and what not. All bs.

Watch how surprised they are if you accept certain things about them: if they get so surprised at your open mind it's usually a sign that their own mind is far from being as open, and you'll know it soon if you risk exposing yourself to them.

 

[OurLadysTears]

I think if we all knew how to appropriately form and maintain relationships, love wouldn’t be so bad. We all know how to “fall in love” but our world has become so unstable that we don’t know how to properly “maintain” that love. Whether it be from being too busy to listen and care for others or desiring something new and exciting once things settle down. The majority of us are rollercoaster rides and I fear I am having trouble keeping up. The hardest part is coming to the realization that you really only have yourself to depend on, which is an unhealthy and unproductive way of living. I wish I knew how to change things and I wish I didn’t feel like I need to “put-up-the-walls” with anyone that I spend more than a couple of hours with. How do people learn to open up and trust one another in this vicious cycle?

 

[blackdot]

I have no problem opening up and trusting people.
It's just that I can't find anyone else who can do it too.

The problem with relationships is that it takes 2 people. It's like finding a job. It requires someone else wanting you.

Everything else is easy. You want it, you buy it. When I bought a box of cereal, it didn't get a choice to say no.

 

[OurLadysTears]

It is amazingly hard to find two people that can work well together. I remember coming across an old couple before that was married for 50 years. The husband was taking care of his wife, who at that point in her life was struggling with health problems and dementia. She really didn't understand anything going on around her. I remember him saying that he still loved her to death. It really made me want to cry, because I found it so amazing that there is love out there that can hold up that strong. It saddens me the unlikelihood that I will ever find it...

 

[beans]

If you want to be loved, you have to give away your heart many times and sometimes you will be hurt badly, that is the price.


I was just talking to one of my friends yesterday and she told me she has a boyfriend now. She's 31. And prior to this guy, she had an ex about 7 years ago. Then, she gave up everything for her ex. Her job, her money, her plans, etc but it did not work out. She was just so desperate to be loved. Now she tells me "Frankly, with my new boyfriend now, if he tells me tomorrow that he wants to break up with me, I'm going to let him go. I'm just in a place in my life where I am happy without a relationship and even if I've to be single for the rest of my life, I'm fine with that. I could be happy."


But it took her 7 years of personal development to come to this place, which I have not at all. I guess I'm a bit of a dreamer. I've never really liked 'the world' much or what I'm doing where I am. It's like everything I do or plan revolves around love even though I tell myself life is not all about love (and I'm not only talking about man-woman kind of love.) So when I meet someone I really like, I tend to centre my happiness around him, which is so wrong and totally unfair to him. He's not responsible for my entire happiness - a relationship is to be shared - two contented and complete people coming together.

A lot of people fear love after experiencing many heart breaks because of the fear of loss of it and it not being reciprocated. I'll tell you this - you shouldn't be afraid of getting hurt. It's part of life. It really is.

If your love is not being reciprocated and if things don't ever work out, I guess that's where confidence and knowing how important and valuable you are comes in - that even if that someone leaves you in the end, you can make it on your own.

Sounds hard, huh?

I read this quote by someone and I'll paste it here.


"Love is an essential part of life, a integral component of life's meaning, and something that makes life life rather than mere existence, then the most prudent thing to do may be to forget prudence: conquer your fears, dismiss your reservations, throw caution to the wind, and love.

My advice: Don't be afraid to love—there's too much to lose, and so, so much to gain."