Well for two main reasons ill keep it short, 1) I'm typing on my phone, and 2) I don't want to lose you over a long story.
My name is danny and I'm 23. I've suffered from depression since I was a little kid. Throughout my life I've suffered many hardships, mostly due to my upbringing which made me the perfect candidate for ostrication (sp?). Also though, a conditioned and genetically gained negative attitude always allowed me to see things as worse then they were. Assuring that despite the obvious possibility of being at least momentarilly happy, I would always through pessimism be down and upset. although there are/were many other factors to my grand thesis of depression, id rather leave them out for now.
Anyway, in order for me to control my depression and anxiety over the years I've used (and abused) several different drugs. Years had passed and addictions began flourish. Quite recently though, on the way to see the hangover 2, I got attacked on the street. I was really high, and barely won the fight...although imo there is no winner in a fight, especially in this case that was quite true. I got rushed to the hospital for a few broken bones and internal bleeding in my brain. Thankfully, there was nothing too serious; nothing time wouldn't heal.
One major thing upon being discharged after suffering from a head injury is that you can't do drugs. After getting out though, it was one of the first things I went back to (I had been in there for two weeks). But it just wasn't the same, I wasn't enjoying it, just feeling drained and weak as if I was going to die. Well the finally get to the point I haven't used since then, and although I still smoke cigarettes, I've been doing and feeling a lot better.
Yeah, I have clinical ocd and adhd, and yeah I'm prone to depression, but you know, with all the clarity I've been able to focus on the longterm. I'm going back to school, got a fairly decent job, I've even been going to church. I'm getting my finances in order so that I can take hold of my debt, and start saving up for a car.
I appreciate anyone who read all this, I know its a lot....and its not even an 8th of the whole story...but that's all for now.
Thesis? It doesn't matter where you are, you can control your future. Life is hard, yeah. Really ******* hard, sometimes death seems like the easiest choice, but if you're willing to make changes and work towards new and better things, you'll someday be able to live a better life. Maybe that's obvious, but for me it took a group of viollant junkies and a stroke of luck to even be willing to find it out
My name is danny and I'm 23. I've suffered from depression since I was a little kid. Throughout my life I've suffered many hardships, mostly due to my upbringing which made me the perfect candidate for ostrication (sp?). Also though, a conditioned and genetically gained negative attitude always allowed me to see things as worse then they were. Assuring that despite the obvious possibility of being at least momentarilly happy, I would always through pessimism be down and upset. although there are/were many other factors to my grand thesis of depression, id rather leave them out for now.
Anyway, in order for me to control my depression and anxiety over the years I've used (and abused) several different drugs. Years had passed and addictions began flourish. Quite recently though, on the way to see the hangover 2, I got attacked on the street. I was really high, and barely won the fight...although imo there is no winner in a fight, especially in this case that was quite true. I got rushed to the hospital for a few broken bones and internal bleeding in my brain. Thankfully, there was nothing too serious; nothing time wouldn't heal.
One major thing upon being discharged after suffering from a head injury is that you can't do drugs. After getting out though, it was one of the first things I went back to (I had been in there for two weeks). But it just wasn't the same, I wasn't enjoying it, just feeling drained and weak as if I was going to die. Well the finally get to the point I haven't used since then, and although I still smoke cigarettes, I've been doing and feeling a lot better.
Yeah, I have clinical ocd and adhd, and yeah I'm prone to depression, but you know, with all the clarity I've been able to focus on the longterm. I'm going back to school, got a fairly decent job, I've even been going to church. I'm getting my finances in order so that I can take hold of my debt, and start saving up for a car.
I appreciate anyone who read all this, I know its a lot....and its not even an 8th of the whole story...but that's all for now.
Thesis? It doesn't matter where you are, you can control your future. Life is hard, yeah. Really ******* hard, sometimes death seems like the easiest choice, but if you're willing to make changes and work towards new and better things, you'll someday be able to live a better life. Maybe that's obvious, but for me it took a group of viollant junkies and a stroke of luck to even be willing to find it out
