Black Manta said:
kamya said:
If this is the case would you say that you just married the wrong person?
I know I did, but even so I'm surprised how apart I am from a person I see constantly. And even if things were bad with the wife I didn't think things would be so bad as far as my kids went.
Thanks for saying this. A lot of my friends that got married have ended up miserable. Several got divorced... but were left very poor by the marriage ceremony and kids. Several have remained married to people they dislike only to avoid the financial and emotional cost of a divorce. One told me she allows her husband to have any affairs he wants just he can't be obvious about it. One poor friend divorced her husband but lives with him because he refuses to get a job and without her would be homeless...so she is trapped after getting a divorce.
I personally don't think that there is such a thing as marrying the wrong person. I think everyone has a short term period where they "love" the other person. But that love fades. I don't believe that marriage forever is natural OR even was originally meant to be this way.
Marriage was originally a way to take care of women who couldn't work. Fathers knew they had to provide for their daughters so they paid men to marry them. It had to be forever because they were paying for care for life. But most men had mistresses. When women got the freedom they came up with this fiction of love forever to justify marriage...
Everyone always thinks that having kids will be great but it can go sooo wrong. Your child can get hooked on drugs, get cancer, just dislike you.
You can be married and lonely. It isn't a solution.