Master of Puppets

[Randomact164]

So i have a small backround story here before i can begin, this deals with my step sister.
__________________________________________________________ My Step sister is a bratt. Shes not the hottest thing around but shes a prett girl, a month younger then i she looks up to me for comfort sometimes. A boy breaks up with her, im there to comfort, and fight with a friend, girl drama etc. I hate that honeysuckle but i deal with it becuase i try to be a better myself everyday.
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MY step sister and i hate saying that so ill call her Bryanna.
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Bryanna had a fight with her dad when her dad got divorced from her mom and married mine (who she now loves like a real mother) did not speak a word or cast a glance upon her father for about a year or so. She only comes back around when she wants something Examples like...Her birthday is near, christmas is coming up, she needs a ride to the movies etc. but she just takes and takes and never gives her dad time to spend with her. her dad can only she her on the days the court left him with (2-3 outa 7 days a week) and all she does is leave and take money that she spends without care or cuase or concern.
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about a month or so ago she had broke up with ur boyfriend of 6months and i asked her why (shes a terrible lair) and eventually she broke down from the tears and told me she had sex with her boyfriend (yep 15 year olf girl alone at his house alot, I DIDNT SEE THAT COMING) and she told me to NEVER tell anyone, so ima post it here knowing the security of that i dont know anyone from reallife on here.
they got back together the same night, theyeve been dating/ going out for 9months now, i still find condoms sometimes(ewww).
---for the record she is a striaght A student with the knowledge level of honeysuckle point zero outside of her protected world where she is queen.


So today her lies came undone upon my grandmother gave her a painful taste of reality and made her cry. At the end she told her " Bryanna you better learn to lie better o tell the truth right now"

No one knows shes had sex except me. Her dad is now mad at her, my mom loves her like the daughter she wish she couldve had and spoil to death, and i havent talked to her yet except one thing.

she came in and said to me in tear this whole story and all i said was " Bryanna ou know what, you shouldve tied tighter knots around the people that you have turned into your puppets."

She later a look as she looked into my eyes with decite and regret at me , while my eyes showed a loss of respect and trust.

Well thanks if you read it all long post i know and tell me what u think about people like that, "puppet masters"

or

Do you believe that an essential skill to have for life is the ability to be able to lie, and to lie well so that u may not even know the truth of the matter.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Lying is unhealthy ..In the end it all comes back.
You know...the children tails of crying wolf.


Lies on top of more lies to cover up the lies..it's progressive. After a while a person cant tell what is truth and what
are lies.....

covering up for a person is call...co-dependency or enabling.

These are the very same triats my ex-gf has...She blames me for everthing or use me as an scape goat.
She lied so **** much she belives in her own lies.
Even until this day my ex-gf still can't look at me in the eyes or is willing to come clean.
She have yet to hold herself accountiable for anything nor admit to anything.

Simple manipulations tactics when she's looking at you as if you did her wrong...GUILT...fualt sense of guilt.
In other words she's not going to hold herself accountiable or any of her actions. Knots ??? what fucken knots ?
The fucken knonts in her lies ? Laiding down the guilt trip is more like it.

It's hard...becuase you love her and care about her...Your emotions are getting drag through the mud.

Detach emotionally...
She'll said you don't care and other good stuff too. More guilt trips.

My step son bascailly did the samething. A child of deviorce...FFS
He deems he should be able to manipulate people to get what he wants.
At the sametime even when he's in a lie ...it's not a big deal to him..He'll just blow it off as if it's nothing.
That's what happens when a child is used as weapon between the diviocring parents.
They start spoiling the kids and becuase of guilt. The kid becomes like a yoyo.
The child then learn through experince...to lie or use the parents againt each other to get what the child wants.
Emotional blackmail.

You're just next in line. Be very careful and take care of yourself..look beyound the lies.
In other words..she's going to attack you...you reputations , you're denity, your charecter as a person.
You are her secret....her lies.
The shift or blame will shift to you....So she can keep on living her lies, of course.
Simple deversion tactics...the dramma and chaos is to throw everyone off balance or confuse.
In other words...lets complicate the honeysuckle out of it so people can't figure it out.

She might even develope relationship problems later on..
She use sex and lies to get whatever she wants.
As long as she gets away with it..She'll continue the behaviors.
As long as she's rewarded by it..she'll continue pushing the buttons of lies and manipulations.

Underneath all the lies are pains...the sex is an escape from the pain. Her BF makes her feel like she's improtant
or vauled as a person even though it's not too healthy for her.

Therapy, counseling or professional help...
A third party that's not emotonal attach to her.
Maybe someone that's done what she had done and recovered from it.

BTW..my ex-gf is a socail worker...She's a walking and talking dictionary. Extreemly intelligent as far
as education gose. She knows how to play the court system and manipulate the honeysuckle out of it.
She's very good in what she dose as a case or worker. She's a beautiful woman
However behind close doors...Behind the certains...there's honeysuckle loads of lies.
You can't let the nieghbors, co-workers, families, friends know....She has a major drugs and gambling fucken problems.
I'm her secret...I have all the details..wheather she tell me or not...I lived through it with her.
No one knows...
LOOKING GOOD ON THE OUSIDE AND ALL messed UP ON THE INSIDE.

Happiness is an inside job..by the way.

Open up a can of worms(lies)...Worms dies in sunlight (truth)

 

[Nyktimos]

So this thread has nothing to do with Metallica?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

I've noticed people who are like this simply don't see it in themselves. It always seems obvious to us that they are being purposely manipulative. Often, they are not being consciously so. We all reason things differently, and are often unaware of what influences our interpretation of the world. She probably needs assistance from people, but won't admit it as it would restrict her behaviour to be in other's debt. Do you ever hear a slight desperation in her voice when it looks as though the emotional blackmail isn't working and she won't get her own way? Does she always have some rationale to explain why things should be the way she wants them? Does she turn her back on others as soon as they are no use to her, and make out they have betrayed her? A person can't live that way consistantly unless they are deluding themselves.

I've met perhaps a handful of people who I believe are consciously manipulative, but most tailor their world view to their needs. This sort of thing often gets worse through life; each distortion of reality necessitating more dependence on others; increasing dependence prompting more self-justifying distortions of reality. Each person who becomes tired of it all and refuses to give in is, in their eyes, another betrayal.

 

[Freya]

I think Nyktimos is perhaps right...most ppl don't realise they are being manipulative...and at 15 we all think we are the centre of the universe mostly beacuse at that age we haven't experienced the kind of disappiontment which eventually tells us we are not in fact the centre of anything...

I'm sure things will calm down in time as your little sister matures

 

[Randomact164]

hmmm i like all your idea and opinoins and thanks for posting, and i lol'd @ """"and at 15 we all think we are the centre of the universe mostly beacuse at that age we haven't experienced the kind of disappiontment which eventually tells us we are not in fact the centre of anything..."""", becuase i had come to realize and had yet to experiance this. I have long since realized that i am not the center and most likely neveer will be.

I have come to realize this because even though i sit in the pool of 15 and 16 year old peers, i have come to understand what lies in store for me.
My father has passed down many a tale to me, tales of happiness,sarrow,laughter, sadness. all ending with a message he portrays to me and hopes for me to realize, yet none of his stories are untrue.
I dont feel like explaining my life since whatever day i came into a concious being but all i wanted to say is...

I am far beyond my peers in the wisdom of life, yet i never set myself apart from them or above them.

 

[Oodelally]

I've met perhaps a handful of people who I believe are consciously manipulative, but most tailor their world view to their needs. This sort of thing often gets worse through life; each distortion of reality necessitating more dependence on others; increasing dependence prompting more self-justifying distortions of reality. Each person who becomes tired of it all and refuses to give in is, in their eyes, another betrayal.

I like this logic. There is a good logic behind the thought that the vast majority of human beings are, for the most part, far from rational beings. They are great at rationalisation however. Essentially people will change their world view to suit whatever agenda is on the table.

Getting back to the issue. Randomact: You have the situation in front of you. What do you want to do? Based on the situation is it achievable? whats going to be the after-effects?

Keep in mind that the manipulation is a double edged sword. If her behaviour is working, there is temptation and evolutionary logic to using similar tactics yourself. Its even easy to rationalise that 'she does it to others, she deserves it' or 'taste of her own medicine'. Using these tactics, however, are extremely harmful and will result in more pain then what she can do to you. Esepcially since her behaviours have had a negative effect on you and may be heavily contributing to feelings of loneliness.

as for the whole trust thing; it is something that is incredibly difficult to regain, if possible at all.

Its very difficult for us to move away from parents ideals and that generally happens in the teenage years. Your fathers stories are exactly that, HIS stories. Keep in mind that whilst they have lessons to teach you, your own experiences are even more important in defining who you are, and will guide you even further into the future. Despite the fact you are wise amongst your peers keep in mind that those who do claim wisdom (i'm definately not one of them) do so due to a lifetime of personal exprience, and do so based on their own journy and without looking to or at others.

Whilst its not a fun time, there is a logic that the self centered nature of the typical 15 year old is extremely painful for others, it is a critical time in allowing self discovery, allowing people to become themselves. I do repeat it is painful tho. Thankfully the self discovery doesnt take that long and people do grow out of it. This is no excuse for harmful behaviours as well, but there is always a responsibility that must be taken for truely selfish behaviour. Your stepsister might be starting to experience this.

Anyways, i've rambled enough....for now...

 

[SophiaGrace]

lying is wrong. End story.

Lying doesnt protect you, it destroys trust.

You cant avoid it all the time, but its best to be transparent so people can love you for who you truely are.

Otherwize, they will love a phantom, Someone you've created that doesnt exist.

People are fools if they think that they can keep anything from anyone. Your body language betrays you, the words that come out of your mouth betray you, the intonation, the pitch, the comma,,,left,,,between,,,words, there's too many variables to keep track of. Even if you do manage to say a lie successfully in words, people might walk away with a funny feeling in their stomache that you are hiding something, because they subconciously picked up on odd body language or an "off" intonation in your voice or a thousand other variables which are impossible to keep track of. They may not be able to put their finger on it but you can bet that they'll be suspicious. And dont even kid yourself that people can keep secrets. They cant. And if they tell someone their secret, its likely to get out.

Nothing can truely be hidden.

Isnt it just much simpler to tell the truth and be transparent?