Maybe I don't need friends

[Nina]

tehdreamer.
I am so on the same page with this. I have started backing away from a few of the friends who have used me as their personal therapist for many years now. I've even explained to one of them that I've become very close to a few of my on-line friends, I explained how nice it felt to have folks who care about ME instead of just expecting me to help them. She looked at me like I just fell out of a tree and said, I always care about you, it's just I have way more problems than you. I knew then that I was making the right choice in putting distance beteen her and I.

Some people are just too self-revolving to even begin to understand that friendships are two way deals.
They are the ones you need to back away from because they drain you.....dry, over time.
There are lots of great folks in the world and a good many of them would feel richly rewarded to have a friend as sweet and kind as you.

 

[K2Chmpln]

Hey dreamer,
I used to be the guy that would work on everyones car, or lend them money for rent.
I started to notice i'd only hear from them when they needed something. Being the knight in shining armor i was I went to this girls house one night to restart her furnace and she asked if i could hurry up cuz her friends were coming over. I said i had to run home and get the right nozzle and never went back. (She ended up paying 130 to have the oil guy come out)

I swore of people and friendships a long time ago, but thats just my story
I actually get more out of people by being kind of closed off.

I like the way things are now, I have 2 best friends and one is a cat.
I understand the need we have as humans for close companionship
but prefer to fly solo most of the time, maybe i'm just bitter but i'm a lot happier now

 

[1TCP6]

Hi tehdreamer,

I feel like I can relate to your story and the title of your post. I agree with a lot of the responses you've gotten. I think focusing on yourself is the best thing to do in this case. In doing so hopefully you'll find others that share your interests and will actually treat you the way friends are supposed to.

 

[thecursedmary]

Everyone needs a friend... But sometimes when desperate people lie to theirselves that they can live without friends...

[ If you realize the truth write to me, I'd like to be your friend and I'd never let you down! ]

 

[kzingame]

OOOh,
Sounds like you are one of the few gems out there, who truly makes a good friend. And a wise person would know how special you are. Someday, a smart person would come along and recognize how precious you are and be a truly good friend to you.

I may be partial because my best friend just passed away and it really strikes me now how hard it is to find a person that knows what being a great friend is all about.

 

[tehdreamer]

I know that I need friends, I just put a lot less stock in them these days.

 

[lomojojo]

The solution to your problem is not "learn to be alone".

It's "find new friends."

I'd rather say: The solution is to give w/o expecting anything in return.

Love is the answer...

 

[SophiaGrace]

The solution to your problem is not "learn to be alone".

It's "find new friends."

I'd rather say: The solution is to give w/o expecting anything in return.

I think that happens in abusive relationships though, so I don't know if I quite agree with that lomojojo.

Either that or it's a twisted sort of love in those cases.

Love is about reciprocation, that's the basis of any human relationship. It goes both ways. If it doesnt go both ways, all you have is unreciprocated friendship/love & and that, I think, could only make you feel sadness and longing for something that was reciprocated.

I really am not sure selflessness is the way to go. It seems like sacrificing yourself when you should be respecting your needs.