Me, myself and the rest of us

[lusker]

Thanks all. Maybe the abs don't make such a good avatar, distracting as they are, but gyms are a great place to get lost. Nobody notices if you are antisocial. I can be with people without being with people, and feel normal for an hour or so.

Look forward to nosing around the forum: on a prima facie basis, looks interesting! But for those with a mothering instinct, how can I put this - I don't need a hug. I have become too reptilian for that. The bumps under my skin in the avatar aren't muscles, they're scales.[/u]

 

[ladyforsaken]

That's seriously your set of abs? No hug for you then. How about a high five?
Hope you have a good time making new friends around the forum. Welcome aboard.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Hey there, welcome!

 

[fox]

Welcome to the site lusker

 

[Toby]

Welcome, lusker. I imagine many people are different at work and at home, aswell as out with friends. It seems that your work/home life merge has been positive to those around you, so that's good.

Are you happy with your real self? I ask this because you said it's hard to imagine someone liking someone "so foul" which suggests you see your real self as foul.

 

[lusker]

I don't frighten or disgust myself much anymore, so is that happy? Other people being happy with me is what's missing, but my pathology won't permit an honest relationship unless Hyde is kept hidden. It's easier to be alone, but (to borrow a phrase) my solitude is corrupting, and the last thing I need is to get worse.

But thank you, all, for the kind words and welcome. I think I'm ready to graduate to the forum proper. In advance, a large part of my problem is that I offend others without even trying, and sometimes without even comprehending that I have. I apologise, but I was born in the land of trolls.

 

[Peaches]

welcome! nice abs

 

[lusker]

Thanks Peaches! Just so people don't get the wrong impression, the missus persuaded me to have my torso waxed and spray-tanned for a photo thing I did, and they have never looked that way again. The waxing was horrific. The things you girls do for kicks ... ! The are now covered once again properly pale and covered in hair. Yuck, right?

 

[ladyforsaken]

I don't think anything natural is yucky.

 

[Charliegirl6]

It's a hard way to live adjusting yourself to others, but remember, others will also adjust themselves to you. So unless your personality dynamics differ vastly to the ones around you I think it's best to expose a little bit of your true self to them slowly over a period of time.

Everyone wears masks... Everyone has something about themselves they hide and don't share with their significant other for they fear rejection. Just be yourself somewhere on a forum, some will hate you, but you'll also attract others who agree with you.

 

[lusker]

I wanted somewhere relatively private to bury my 100th post, and replying to my own first post seemed right. It has brought me full circle.

Has coming to this site brought me anything positive? Knowing yourself better is a plus, and any time spent on reflection is valuable, so I guess it has a little. Have I made any friends in the time since I joined? I guess that would be the true test of which direction my life is trending. No I haven't, but I'm not unhappy about that fact either. Maybe this is as good as it gets?

Happy 100th to me.