GoingInsane
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- Mar 14, 2009
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A kinda whine/rant, and my experience with meeting women and online dating.
Let me start by saying that I find it hard to meet women in the real world, especially women who are single. I've only ever been out with a girl once and it didn't last long. about a month max when I was 19. Since then the opportunities have been pretty non-existent.
Due to not having many friends to hang out with, and rarely going out on the weekends. It has been made doubly hard for me since having been working full time since I was about 18 (now 24) and working in mainly men based environments, although I kinda doubt whether relationships in the workplace are an ideal scenario. Anyway I don't have the opportunities to find single women outside of work, with clubbing, bars etc and the few friends I do have, already have long-term girlfriends and so they hardly ever go out themselves and going clubbing/bars is just not something I would go and do alone either, so I have given online dating a shot.
My experience with online dating has been anything but good, I don't class myself as a bad looking guy, tried a couple of sites, namely Zoosk and POF. Not sure what's going on here but I could message 100+ girls in a day and not get a single reply. Girls that are average looking at best wont reply to my messages. I could send a simple, friendly 'hi, nice profile, I like [enter hobby here] too', providing compliments about the way they look, achievements, etc and Messages which ask questions about their profile perhaps and are not just cheap and meaningless for them not to reply to.
I have researched on getting the best out of my dating profile online, making sure I have my best photos (which include me abroad, travelling) Just what I consider to be my better shots, and also relevant things about me, my most interesting assets and hobbies, things which women would want to know about someone to find them an ideal match.
I question the expectations that these women seek on these sites and perhaps in general as the lack of replies leaves me wondering if the messages even get read, or if they want more than what they see in someone like myself. Whilst I'm not perfect by any means, I don't consider myself to be ugly, I take care of the way I look and believe I have good qualities, enough to at least, attract someone who is perhaps average looking, shares similar interests and not up themselves. Even if they could only ever view me as a potential friend, why not just leave it at that and reply anyway? Thoughts go through my mind like 'are they just after someone with money, power, tall etc' Or is it something more unbalanced, like there are significantly more men than women on these sites resulting in them getting 100s of emails from guys a day with a large portion of them being sexually directed, and so not bothering to read them all. In some ways I'm hoping that my second theory is right, but at the same time I'm not.
In hindsight I probably would have looked at going to Uni as I believe this gives men like myself the best chances of meeting women as well as giving them the best career prospects, but my circumstances were very different a few years back and it was at a time where I needed to get some income straight away, which I'm still reliant on now with some outgoings that I have.
Can any guys here share their experience (or lack of) with online dating, meeting women, give tips, relate in some way or share where or how they may have eventually met someone being in a similar situation to myself?
Many Thanks
Let me start by saying that I find it hard to meet women in the real world, especially women who are single. I've only ever been out with a girl once and it didn't last long. about a month max when I was 19. Since then the opportunities have been pretty non-existent.
Due to not having many friends to hang out with, and rarely going out on the weekends. It has been made doubly hard for me since having been working full time since I was about 18 (now 24) and working in mainly men based environments, although I kinda doubt whether relationships in the workplace are an ideal scenario. Anyway I don't have the opportunities to find single women outside of work, with clubbing, bars etc and the few friends I do have, already have long-term girlfriends and so they hardly ever go out themselves and going clubbing/bars is just not something I would go and do alone either, so I have given online dating a shot.
My experience with online dating has been anything but good, I don't class myself as a bad looking guy, tried a couple of sites, namely Zoosk and POF. Not sure what's going on here but I could message 100+ girls in a day and not get a single reply. Girls that are average looking at best wont reply to my messages. I could send a simple, friendly 'hi, nice profile, I like [enter hobby here] too', providing compliments about the way they look, achievements, etc and Messages which ask questions about their profile perhaps and are not just cheap and meaningless for them not to reply to.
I have researched on getting the best out of my dating profile online, making sure I have my best photos (which include me abroad, travelling) Just what I consider to be my better shots, and also relevant things about me, my most interesting assets and hobbies, things which women would want to know about someone to find them an ideal match.
I question the expectations that these women seek on these sites and perhaps in general as the lack of replies leaves me wondering if the messages even get read, or if they want more than what they see in someone like myself. Whilst I'm not perfect by any means, I don't consider myself to be ugly, I take care of the way I look and believe I have good qualities, enough to at least, attract someone who is perhaps average looking, shares similar interests and not up themselves. Even if they could only ever view me as a potential friend, why not just leave it at that and reply anyway? Thoughts go through my mind like 'are they just after someone with money, power, tall etc' Or is it something more unbalanced, like there are significantly more men than women on these sites resulting in them getting 100s of emails from guys a day with a large portion of them being sexually directed, and so not bothering to read them all. In some ways I'm hoping that my second theory is right, but at the same time I'm not.
In hindsight I probably would have looked at going to Uni as I believe this gives men like myself the best chances of meeting women as well as giving them the best career prospects, but my circumstances were very different a few years back and it was at a time where I needed to get some income straight away, which I'm still reliant on now with some outgoings that I have.
Can any guys here share their experience (or lack of) with online dating, meeting women, give tips, relate in some way or share where or how they may have eventually met someone being in a similar situation to myself?
Many Thanks