I'm sitting here with a knot in my stomach. Had it since friday. I messed everything up at work, at least it feels like i did.
I drive for a living, deliveries and such. The day started with there being almost double the load there usually is, so I was extremely pressed for time to get everything out. I ran my ass off all day. One of my stops was this little kiosk place. As soon as I entered the manager ran towards me and started swearing, telling me i was a moron that that I should be fired right away! She demanded the number to my boss, so she could call in and tell her what a ******* idiot I am. It seems there had been a package that was supposed to be delivered to her, accedentally delivered to the neighbouring building some time last week instead. She's very unstable and doesn't know her ass from her elbow as far as normal manners go. This was the fourth time I'd had trouble with her. The previous three, I apologized and shook her hand for things I had no fault in. This time, I told her to stop harassing me, and turned around and left the building. She followed me out into the street, all the while yelling, and continued to do so while I drove away.
This type of a person is not uncommen in this line of work, several of the people I work with have had similar situations.
Already being short on time, this really raised my stress-levels thru the roof. 1 minute later, I parked right behind a cab (also parked), to get out and deliver another package. But as I stepped out of the car, stressed out of my mind, I forgot to put the handbrake on and the car bumped into the cab in front of me, putting a minor dent in his back bumper. In my line of work, EVERY college i have has had an accident, we drive around the city ALL day, and everybody crashes. I guess it just had to happen to me as well, why i excpect perfection from myself i dont know, but i do, and i ******* hate myself for crashing. Luckily the cab driver was a good guy, and took it very calmly.
When I got back to "base", my boss wanted me. Apparently, some customer from a certian kiosk, had called in and said that the mailman entered her store and started swearing and raging out of nowhere, which of course is a total lie. I never did such a thing.
Luckely, I'm on good grounds with the boss, so she believed me, and seeing as this is the fourth time this lady has attacked me like this, she knew what it was about. I then told her that enough was enough, and from now on, I REFUSE to deliver there ANY MORE! She said that was okay, and that she understood. She didn't make a big fuss about the car crash, as that sort of stuff happens almost daily in this job.
HOWEVER. I am now sitting her turning my stomach feeling like complete ******* garbage over what happened yesterday, and I know is will haunt me for a long time to come. I worry like fresia about going back to work on monday, i know it will be hard. I hate being a bother to the people i work with, especially my boss. That being said, i know that in reality, i am one of the few who almost never makes any "noise" at work. I stay in the background and do my job well. But it still stresses the living daylights out of me when i fresia up! Why can't i just relax, and give a fresia about it? This sort of stuff doesn't really matter, right?
I also know that i didn't really do anything wrong, but that doesn't make things any better.
When my coworkers do things like crash cars and such, i NEVER for a second think that they're stupid. I usually just tell them to "forget about it"..."it happens"..."no big deal". But when I do it, I feel like i wanna sink into hell and remain there. I'm so ******* stupid! Goddamn loser!
Sorry this was long, don't know if anyone reads it, just had to write it, for some reason.
Thank you.
I drive for a living, deliveries and such. The day started with there being almost double the load there usually is, so I was extremely pressed for time to get everything out. I ran my ass off all day. One of my stops was this little kiosk place. As soon as I entered the manager ran towards me and started swearing, telling me i was a moron that that I should be fired right away! She demanded the number to my boss, so she could call in and tell her what a ******* idiot I am. It seems there had been a package that was supposed to be delivered to her, accedentally delivered to the neighbouring building some time last week instead. She's very unstable and doesn't know her ass from her elbow as far as normal manners go. This was the fourth time I'd had trouble with her. The previous three, I apologized and shook her hand for things I had no fault in. This time, I told her to stop harassing me, and turned around and left the building. She followed me out into the street, all the while yelling, and continued to do so while I drove away.
This type of a person is not uncommen in this line of work, several of the people I work with have had similar situations.
Already being short on time, this really raised my stress-levels thru the roof. 1 minute later, I parked right behind a cab (also parked), to get out and deliver another package. But as I stepped out of the car, stressed out of my mind, I forgot to put the handbrake on and the car bumped into the cab in front of me, putting a minor dent in his back bumper. In my line of work, EVERY college i have has had an accident, we drive around the city ALL day, and everybody crashes. I guess it just had to happen to me as well, why i excpect perfection from myself i dont know, but i do, and i ******* hate myself for crashing. Luckily the cab driver was a good guy, and took it very calmly.
When I got back to "base", my boss wanted me. Apparently, some customer from a certian kiosk, had called in and said that the mailman entered her store and started swearing and raging out of nowhere, which of course is a total lie. I never did such a thing.
Luckely, I'm on good grounds with the boss, so she believed me, and seeing as this is the fourth time this lady has attacked me like this, she knew what it was about. I then told her that enough was enough, and from now on, I REFUSE to deliver there ANY MORE! She said that was okay, and that she understood. She didn't make a big fuss about the car crash, as that sort of stuff happens almost daily in this job.
HOWEVER. I am now sitting her turning my stomach feeling like complete ******* garbage over what happened yesterday, and I know is will haunt me for a long time to come. I worry like fresia about going back to work on monday, i know it will be hard. I hate being a bother to the people i work with, especially my boss. That being said, i know that in reality, i am one of the few who almost never makes any "noise" at work. I stay in the background and do my job well. But it still stresses the living daylights out of me when i fresia up! Why can't i just relax, and give a fresia about it? This sort of stuff doesn't really matter, right?
I also know that i didn't really do anything wrong, but that doesn't make things any better.
When my coworkers do things like crash cars and such, i NEVER for a second think that they're stupid. I usually just tell them to "forget about it"..."it happens"..."no big deal". But when I do it, I feel like i wanna sink into hell and remain there. I'm so ******* stupid! Goddamn loser!
Sorry this was long, don't know if anyone reads it, just had to write it, for some reason.
Thank you.