messed up once again

[Mr X]

I can't do anything right with girls. I mess up every single time I meet a girl. Like, I was texting 4 weeks with a girl, and had met her 2 times in this time aswell. We both knew we wanted each other. We had it all planned out, yesterday there was a party and we both 'knew' we were going to kiss.

Guess what? There didn't happen a single fresia. Why? Because I was being my retard self. It was like I was shut down, didn't know what to say or do. This girl is now extremely dissapointed in me. I am shy, I need to know people well before I am 'myself'. In text messages, I was being myself, being sweet to her and stuff. I know that is how I am.. But yesterday, I was not. Not at all.

I am so sick of myself, why can't things work out for even once?

This girl now is doing really different to me, but she is willing to give me one more shot. I told her I would do it different next time, but I kinda already know that I will fresia it up just as hard as I did yesterday.

She really doesn't know how much I care about her. I simply know she is perfect for me. Now, when I say something sweet to her in text, she simply says like 'yeah right, that's not what I saw yesterday'. I understand her reaction though..

This all makes me so depressed

 

[ilios]

There is no problem in being shy. Maybe you should try to explain to her that you DO want her, but that you have a hard time making the first move? It takes two to tango, and if she knows that you want her, she could make the first move herself! Communication is key!

idk if you feel that this is helpful in anyway, but i really don't think that you should put yourself down just because you didnt dare to kiss her. That, is very normal.

 

[RB46]

I hate having a date with a girl at a party. its so hard to connect in that atmosphere. Try going somewhere more relaxed where you will feel calmer and the conversation can flow better. Somewhere with little or no background music. Somewhere that You will feel relaxed.

 

[Skid Row 89]

A girl I was after once ended up making the first move because I was so shy. It doesn't matter that you haven't made your move yet, either wait until you're ready or let her make the first move.

 

[Mr X]

Well, but she does know that I want her. After yesterday, she has trouble believing it, but she knows I want her. I texted that i was sorry that things didn't work out yesterday, on which she said that I shouldnt be so shy. The problem is that she is kinda shy aswell. She wont admit it though, but I don't care. I take all the blame, as I should have acted differently. If I hadnt been so shy and quiet, she would have been much more open aswell..

I am so sad, because yesterday she texted like as I was her boyfriend already, and today its like she doesnt really care about me anymore. Pff

 

[Skid Row 89]

Well, but she does know that I want her. After yesterday, she has trouble believing it, but she knows I want her. I texted that i was sorry that things didn't work out yesterday, on which she said that I shouldnt be so shy. The problem is that she is kinda shy aswell. She wont admit it though, but I don't care. I take all the blame, as I should have acted differently. If I hadnt been so shy and quiet, she would have been much more open aswell..

I am so sad, because yesterday she texted like as I was her boyfriend already, and today its like she doesnt really care about me anymore. Pff

As RB46 has already stated a party is not really a good setting to get to know a prospective girlfriend. Arrange a date where you and this girl will be alone.

 

[ilios]

She does care.

This girl seems kinda harsh in her ways, i don't think you are to blame. You are human, and sometimes making a move (even tho you know its going to be accepted) is HARD.

as i said, it takes TWO to tango and surely it would look silly if one would tango with themselves.

So you are left with two options: (suggestions only ofc)

1. Leave your shyness behind, ask her for a new chance (maybe like a private date??)
2. Tell her that you are shy and ask her to maybe make the first move?

 

[Mr X]

Option 1 it will be. I have told myself that next time, I will NOT be shy. I've been thinking about it, why on earth should I be shy, like I got anything to loose..
I have asked her out on a new date, she is kinda busy this week so it will have to wait a bit.. Kissing her is one of the first things I'll do when I see her. That may sound weird, but who cares. If we both want it, why wait till the right moment haha

Thanks for your advice all, I will let you know how thing work out.

 

[ilios]

Im happy to hear this! good luck!

 

[aspalas]

Good luck, as you said, don't worry, just do it. I know how you feek and it's just the best to make a move.

 

[9006]

Hello Mr X (You haven't been watching the Simpsons by any chance?),

why can't things work out for even once?

You should stop repeating this for a start, women like confident guys (At least most), perhaps not dominating, and I think you should just make a move before she gets bored, because she won't wait forever, by the sounds of it. If you like her as much as you say you do, use this as motivation.

I hate having a date with a girl at a party. its so hard to connect in that atmosphere.

Well I don't agree with this, a party is a great way to break the ice, especially someone shy, there's plenty of time to connect. And this is something you need to do, break the ice, be slightly more comfortable, then I'm sure things will work out.

It's just getting over the initial 'hurdle'.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Just be yourself, don't change yourself for her benefit. Just explain that you're shy, if she really likes you she'll be understanding. Hope things turn out alright for you.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

A girl I was after once ended up making the first move because I was so shy. It doesn't matter that you haven't made your move yet, either wait until you're ready or let her make the first move.

Women make the first move????? Wow, you learn something new every day!

 

[ippi]

Dude, how come every girl expects the dude to make the first move? Equality my A.

 

[Dissident]

That's not entirely true, it does depend on culture. While it's pretty common in the US, in more egalitarian societies it's not as prevalent. I've mentioned this phenomenon to Scandinavian women in conversations and they find it really perplexing, as they tend to be just as forthright about how they feel about things as the men.

 

[Mr X]

I twice had a girl make the first move with me haha.. but there aint much girls like that in my country.

about the girl, I'm afaid that it's over. She seems to have lost her interest in me. She cancelled out date that we had planned because she had other things to do.. Says enough I think.

 

[Revengineer]

I twice had a girl make the first move with me haha.. but there aint much girls like that in my country.

about the girl, I'm afaid that it's over. She seems to have lost her interest in me. She cancelled out date that we had planned because she had other things to do.. Says enough I think.

Sorry to hear that *brohug* :/

Think of it this way. It's equally her fault that nothing happened between the two of you, so it's pretty irrational for her to be putting all the blame on you. Someone worth it would have at least given you a second chance.

 

[VanillaCreme]

On top of saying that you should be yourself, I'll also add that if she can't understand that you are shy, then perhaps it's not meant to be. A person has to at least try to understand how someone is to care. And if she brushed you off so easily because she assumed anything or because you were shy around her, then I think that speaks volumes. There's a lot of more difficult things in life than being shy, and if she couldn't handle that, then I'm sure you'll come across someone who can handle it, and not turn it into something negative.

 

[defenestrate]

I twice had a girl make the first move with me haha.. but there aint much girls like that in my country.

about the girl, I'm afaid that it's over. She seems to have lost her interest in me. She cancelled out date that we had planned because she had other things to do.. Says enough I think.

How willing are you to look at this from a different perspective?

I know your going through a rough time right now. Maybe that's why I haven't seen you mention this before; but if two women have made for first move for you- that's a really good sign man. I think you have a lot of offer and other people see good things in you.

Just something to think about.

 

[Badjedidude]

It's been a while since I did this.

*ahem*

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!