Met a girl online, but then she vanished...

[el Jay]

Ask yourself is the same good will, benefit of the doubt and support would be given to you  - a  socially awkward, anxious and insecure male   - if you were facing similar circumstances. I think you know the answer.

She no doubt has a wide  network of supportive friends.  It's likely that you're one of many 'well wishers'. She doesn't need you to worry about her.

She doesn't have a "wide network of supportive friends." One reason we like each other is we're both socially anxious all-but-shut-ins that have trouble finding people to be friends. And I'm not "one of" her" "well wishers", I'm pretty much her boyfriend at this point. To the point we've already talked about meeting up sometime (hopefully) soon, since it's a ldr, and she's the one who initiated that discussion each time so far.

That's why the idea that she just ghosted me out of nowhere was so hard to believe, as scary a thought as it was.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Ask yourself is the same good will, benefit of the doubt and support would be given to you  - a  socially awkward, anxious and insecure male   - if you were facing similar circumstances. I think you know the answer.

She no doubt has a wide  network of supportive friends.  It's likely that you're one of many 'well wishers'. She doesn't need you to worry about her.

What does everyone else have to do with him? He's allowed to care about her, regardless of if she talked to one other person or a hundred other people. The bitterness is real.

 
So because he didn't have a rosy outlook on the situation, that automatically equates to bitterness? The smugness is real...

I wasn't being smug. He still has the right to care for whoever he wants to care for.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Women are driven by emotions. Its not unusual that this happened. She lost interest in you. They don't care about guys the way guys think they should. She might have found a better person, so lost interest in you, sorry to say but that's most certainly the case. Its called hypergamy.

 

[el Jay]

Women are driven by emotions. Its not unusual that this happened. She lost interest in you. They don't care about guys the way guys think they should. She might have found a better person, so lost interest in you, sorry to say but that's most certainly the case. Its called hypergamy.

You... didn't read any of the thread and topics, did you..?

 

[MisterLonely]

Great that she wasn't ghosting you, sucks about the stolen phone for her, but on a sidenote this might be a good time to evaluate your own reaction to the "vanishing" of this girl.

The way I read your Initial post is that you were engaging in every which way you knew off to get into contact with her again, (one account which you confirmed to be hers), and speaking from experience, this is not a healthy thing to do, in this case it turned out alright, but what if she was ghosting you, hard as it may seem the best thing to do in such an occasion is to give the other person space, and never put all blame on yourself.

Learn from your own reaction to this event incase it happens again in the future, whether with this girl or any other.

 

[ardour]

Have you actually had the dating/relationship conversation yet?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Have you actually had the dating/relationship conversation yet?

There's a conversation about it?

 

[ardour]

Have you actually had the dating/relationship conversation yet?

There's a conversation about it?

I meant with her... He needs to establish that they are in fact together before this goes much further IMO.

 

[kamya]

Have you actually had the dating/relationship conversation yet?

There's a conversation about it?

I meant with her... He needs to establish that they are in fact togethor before this goes much further IMO.

I agree. My last experience with this failed spectacularly but even still I feel it's a needed talk at some point to set expectations and boundaries.

 

[LaoDing]

There are things I love about the Internet, and things I hate. Maybe I'm not creative, but I simply have not found a way to meet women off the 'cybergrid.' And meeting through the Internet has been a HORRIBLE experience for me; and it has also been a horrible experience for some women that I myself have rejected.
First of all, I cannot see a 'relationship' on the Internet alone. To me, I have to meet that person and start from (and the finish 9.5 out of ten comes very soon). A person's persona on the Internet is a huge lie. You can be anyone you want, hide anything you want, or lie about anything you want. Not that most people do, but everyone I believes at least distorts the truth about themselves. There is no body language, and if you believe in vibes (I do) you can only get those in real life. Sounds weird, but there are no smells, wrinkles, moles or pheromones either. The biological element is GONE as long as you're texting and you are simply avatars.
A woman did what happened to you after our first date (but it was worse, long story), I was devastated, and then I blocked her. Whether I was a jerk for doing that or not I'll never know, but I refuse to sit around every day butterflies in my stomach playing the 'she maybe kinda like me, she hates me' over and over all day. I always vow I won't use the Internet anymore to find dates, but then I realize that if I don't, how will I find a date?
For me, I go for a date quickly and then move away from texting as much as I can. I tell women I don't like texting much from the get go- I'd rather have a phone conversation. It can really really hurt when you've established intimacy with someone and they suddenly pull the chord. But probably they just can't help it, for whatever reason. I've certainly done to others.

 

[ABrokenMan]

I agree with LaoDing. An on-line "boyfriend / girlfriend / significant other" relationship with a person whom you've never met IRL AND fails to agree to a meet up is not a real, valid relationship. More often than not it is merely a flight of fantasy.

I know some, probably even the original poster of this thread, will disagree with my viewpoint, but I still stand firm. Anyone can easily lie, manipulate, and pretend to be someone they are not. I can cite my own experience with a girl that I hired to do some creative web design. We never met in person, as she lived quite some distance away, but her work was what I had been looking for. We corresponded casually for a while, then, things eventually got, um, interesting. She had finally decided to leave her long time BF because of me coming into her life. She promised a lot, and had me smitten after a few months of casual flirtation as well. Problem is she never delivered on ANY of those promises made. My fault was that I should have just kicked her to the curb after her failure to meet IRL - something we had agreed on, to meet in a neutral place. This went on for months. When I met someone else and told her I was going for girl number two, she changed her tune and promised to come out to meet me. However, she abruptly abandoned me. I would call and text - no reply. I soon found out the reason - she had been caught!

Her supposed ex BF contacted me, someone i had never met, and told me she had still been seeing him. He sent me photos of their weekend getaways; while she had told me she was busy with her work during those times. They were also ENGAGED. When finally confronted, she told her "ex" that i was "just someone to toy with, a time waster. I was someone she would never get involved with. She has a gift of manipulation, a way with words. When I agreed to be a character witness for her ex at a court trial (too long to go into), well guess who showed up, unannounced at my doorstep after two years of leaving me hanging? It was her! She came to apologize in person. By this time I had broken up with my GF, so I decided to play her game. I wanted to see her "in action" and boy, did I! She continued to make promises and lie, while I just bought into everything on the surface. Just to be satisfied with my self that my analysis ( a narcissist waif) was spot on.

Moral - I would not buy into anyone's on-line deal regarding a romantic relationship if they do not agree to a face to face meeting.

 

[GizmonicScrewdriver]

[img=320x256]https://cdn3.bigcommerce.com/s-lyn4...78/1300x-Slimer1-__10784.1473370679.jpg[/img]
You have to just deal with it. 
YOU GOT SLIMED!

 

[user 139760]

Have you tried refreshing the page?

 

[smarty24]

It's called ghosting. It's fairly common.

Exactly, actually, it happens all the time...

 

[UglyLoser]

It's hard to tell someone that you are not interested in them. 

That you couldn't give less of a honeysuckle about them.

It's easier to just pretend that everything is fine when you are together but then when alone you can just ignore them.

There are no mixed signals. She doesn't like you.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Closed by request