mixing

[duff]

I have noticed if I do try and 'mix' with people, somebody takes an instant dislike to me and either makes fun of me or insult me.

Everywhere I go this happens.

It's why I live a solitary life. Apart from work of course and I need that to live. I prefer it this way. I think 'you don't want me there so I'll go' - the times Ive left places early - night outs etc. Facebook for example - I don't really want any friends on there but I sort of need it to run my lottery syndicate. I have 29 friends, in an ideal world I would only have my brother, nephew and a few others. I sometimes contribute to people's messages - just having a joke and other people come on and insult me - say I stink. I just delete my messages after that.

 

[DeBe]

So maybe you should stop trying to mix? Let it all go and see where it takes you? I've got this weird colleague who believes in THE SECRET /if you know what I mean/, and she's one lucky b*tch. She literally has whatever she wants. We talked some time ago about different stuff and one of the things she said was that if you want sth, you should think about it - why you want it, how much this will help you,etc., and then stop thinking about it. As if you sent the message into space and just let go. And wait. It'll come to you one way or the other. I personally think the secret and all of those things are a load of crap but then again - you never know

 

[Sci-Fi]

You have more friends than I do on Facebook. LOL There are some people who will always be like that, I think it's because they fear you. Way back in grade school my brother and I had this best friend, this new kid comes to our school and makes friends with him. He hated my brother and I, it was obvious he was jealous of us. He'd do nothing but insult us, put us down at every chance he had and ONLY did it when our friend was around. I don't know why he did it, he just did. The smart thing would to be friends with us too instead of being a jackass. At one place I worked for awhile there was only one other guy in the department I was in, he didn't take kindly to me. He never said anything but you could feel it. Him, I think felt threatened because now there was another guy for the girls in the department to talk to. They all liked me, one girl I went to high school with and another used to babysit me when we were little. Our manager and the other girl took to me right away and would sit and chat with me. Something they didn't do very often with him.

So what I'm getting at is that some people will feel threatened when someone new comes into the picture. Not everyone gets along right off the bat, new people upset their normal balance and threaten whatever it is they are afraid of losing. Maybe a friendship or whatever. You just have to learn to work around them and let them come around on their own, or until they realize that you are not their to take anything away from them. Then there are some who just like to have that one person in the group they don't like and take out whatever on them.

 

[Tiina63]

Hi duff, I have the same problem. And different people take a dislike to different things about me, so it isn't as if it is one big thing which I could change. But I feel the need to meet people so I carry on mixing. If you are happy not mixing socially, you don't have to do it. Do what makes you happy.

 

[duff]

You have more friends than I do on Facebook. LOL There are some people who will always be like that, I think it's because they fear you. Way back in grade school my brother and I had this best friend, this new kid comes to our school and makes friends with him. He hated my brother and I, it was obvious he was jealous of us. He'd do nothing but insult us, put us down at every chance he had and ONLY did it when our friend was around. I don't know why he did it, he just did. The smart thing would to be friends with us too instead of being a jackass. At one place I worked for awhile there was only one other guy in the department I was in, he didn't take kindly to me. He never said anything but you could feel it. Him, I think felt threatened because now there was another guy for the girls in the department to talk to. They all liked me, one girl I went to high school with and another used to babysit me when we were little. Our manager and the other girl took to me right away and would sit and chat with me. Something they didn't do very often with him.

So what I'm getting at is that some people will feel threatened when someone new comes into the picture. Not everyone gets along right off the bat, new people upset their normal balance and threaten whatever it is they are afraid of losing. Maybe a friendship or whatever. You just have to learn to work around them and let them come around on their own, or until they realize that you are not their to take anything away from them. Then there are some who just like to have that one person in the group they don't like and take out whatever on them.

people are jealous of my sporting ability. If I was crap then they wouldn't be bothered. When I played football, I was the guy in the team who took the 'honeysuckle' from everybody else. I prefer solo sports now, not team games.

There as been no goodwill at work this year. Usually it's a real good atmosphere and people get stuck into the work. All it's been is a load of lazy sods moaning, people who don't care. No standards ! - I think that's why I feel fed up at the moment. That and the weather !

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Hi duff, I have the same problem. And different people take a dislike to different things about me, so it isn't as if it is one big thing which I could change. But I feel the need to meet people so I carry on mixing. If you are happy not mixing socially, you don't have to do it. Do what makes you happy.

yes I am happy enough as I am. Got tons of stuff to look forward to that doesn't involve other people.

btw Merry Xmas ! Hope you had a great day yesterday !