More irony

[lbstanley70]

I am not alone, but I am lonely. I have plenty of friends, people with whom I can hang out at any time and a family that cares about me. But right now, I am lonely. I miss one person, one special person, and she is all I can think about. How can I be so lucky in so many ways and feel cursed? My life is not bad. My life isn't over but all I want to do is wallow in my misery and feel sad for myself. How can one person have such an effect on me? All I know is I miss talking to her and hearing her voice and seeing her hazel eyes and it makes me sad and I know my life will not end if she is not in it but how I wish she were. I know I should embrace those things I have going for me, but for now, I sit nursing my bruised heart staring at a computer, sipping some maker's mark,and listening to some mellow music trying to understand why I am single again.

I know I will be ok, but this crap gets old
que sera sera

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I get ya....
I've been going through the same thing but my own version of it.

I even lived or got another GF for a couple of months.
She was actaully nicer, prettier and younger.
So it's not so much that I cant live without her or cant find another woman.
So I do kind of understand that you still have a lot of feelings or love for her.
I know life gose on with or without...I just wish and want for us to spend our lives
together..as we planned and wanted.

Heck..I even went as far as breaking up with my new GF.

Then my fiance started talking again for over a month.
We got into a fight last week again and it wasnt because I did something wrong.
Right, wrong or indifference...I love her very much.

I'm not super close to my family. However my mom and my daughter loves me very much.
It dosnt ease the pain I feel. My duaghter knows I love her mother very much.
My closest friend knows I love her very much.
Every few people actaully knows how i feel or totally understand me...
Heck, sometimes i dont even wanna understand what I'm going through.


At the sametime a part of me is really tired of living like this. Its getting old.

whats weird id my friends keeps asking me about my new gf that I broke up with
Becuase they knew how much she was in love with me.


Love and relationship stuff is kind of wacked for me at the moment.
I'm more mentally and emotionally stable...yet I dont feel that zest for life at the moment.
Yeah the irony of it all.

I dont really feel lonely

Slowly...I'm getting myself back again.
I'm actaully easy going happy go lucky person for the most part.

Yet a part of me feels jadded a familar feeling ive had for a lone time...becuase
She and I had a history. I love her very much...more than the romance, sex..ect

Telling myself I'm not heart broken or hurted anymore.....I'm bascailly tire of going
through this fucken bullshit...as you are. I've had worst days that's for sure.
It feels like or seems like the worst is behind me now...

Just wish i wake up and have a zest for life..without having to work at it.
I miss her very much...at the sametime i also miss that peace, joy and serenity.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I think it might be helpful to focus a bit on the negative that she brought to your life too - try to be objective and avoid the temptations of nostalgia to sweeten everything. That will help you recover and bring clarity to yourself.

 

[Jilted John]

I feel for you Stanley because I've been there.The best way I can equate it is:- It's like waking up in hospital,and the nurse tells you that you've had a leg taken off.You know life will never be the same,your leg will never grow back,so you have to learn to live with it,and not let it ruin the rest of your life.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I disagree with Jilted John, i don't think it's as severe as waking up in a hospital with your leg gone. Although I can certainly relate to missing someone you loved. It's not bad to miss them, it means you cared! I regularly miss people I care about.

Where are you from my friend?

 

[Kat]

You think you loved her right? Did you love the part of her personality that was superficial enough to end things with you? Did you love her immaturity, lack of life experience and rudeness for suddenly ignoring you? Accept her for how she actually is.

 

[RJLJD]

its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. at least i think so, i've only experienced never loving at all at least in the regard you are referring to.

not all is bad though. maybe i'm just selfish, but i'd think about how much more time you can spend for yourself now. having one less person to be obligated to in life isn't necessarily a bad thing.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Just taking care of myself, such as eating and getting proper rest can make a difference.
I probably lost a good 10lb becuase i havnt been eating right becuase of the stress involved.
I've been taking vitamins supliment and St John Wort.
St John Wort helps promote good moods. Its not going to happen over night.

I dont get up with terrible feelings as much anymore.
I still think of her from time to time but I dont obsess as much.


I do try to keep positive and let go of everything in general.

There hasnt been one silver bullet to solve and cope.

it makes the unbareable bareable.

I've also been staying from a woman that I actually kicked to the crub before She and got back
together. I'm fully awear of what a toxic relationship is. I'm making progress on that front too.
So its not like I dont know how to say "NO" or havn't gotten over relationships or women before.
I've been with enough women to witness the various traits of what I like, dont like and can tolerate.

So yeah...why would I have all these torned up, messed up feelings for her and easily wont
blink and eye with other women?
Something about truely loving someone.
If i love her as much as I do...I'm pretty sure i love myself alot too.