Moving into a High School

[Ak5]

Don't know where to post this so I'll post it here. As some of you already know I am a homeschooled 15 year old male. I live in the U.S. and in a regular public school system I would be entering my Sophomore year soon, that would be 10th grade. My family will be moving to another state soon and hopefully I have a chance to make friends and actually be happy instead of being depressed/sad/lonely all day. Yet I currently have an issue, my family hasn't decided if we should move during half of the 10th grade school year or move before 11th grade starts. Now here is my concern: When should I move? During the half of 10th grade or the beginning of 11th?


If I move in the middle of the 10th grade year I have no idea how it would be like to make friends. I don't know how susceptible everyone would be to let me be their friend and possibly let me in their group. I mean, the new guy, just barging in through the door, with zero social skills, trying to find friends, how would everyone react?

If I move during the beginning of 11th grade then that would mean I might have a higher chance of scoring friends or even a group. Yet that would mean another year of loneliness while everyone else is having fun. And I would have "wasted" 2 of the 3 summers doing nothing.


There are just so many ifs and pros and cons. I personally, am very terrified; I don't know how I would be able to withstand 2 years of loneliness. What do you guys think I should do? Move during the middle of Sophomore or move in the start of Junior year?

 

[Pomato]

I would say it's best to move at the start of the year. In high school, kids are LITERALLY LOOKING FOR POTENTIAL FRIENDS at the start of any given year. Obviously it might not seem like that to you (god knows it didn't to me when I was in high school), but now that I look back I can recall tons of "new kids" who were pretty shy, nervous things suddenly getting into "groups" or finding a friend or two at the very start of the year somehow. I'm pretty sure even though they're in 11th grade, the "established" kids will still start to scope out the crowd at the beginning of the year and just figure out what their social routines/plans will be for the year. A lot of people come back from the holidays thinking they want to do things differently, or make new friends, even if they've already got a group/friend at school. In my experience that's just how I saw things go. And if you go in the middle of the year, you just risk looking like this oddity who suddenly showed up. Is he cool? Hmm maybe I should talk to him or something? Naah whatever, I'll just keep hanging around my regular friends like I've been doing since September .

---

And obviously, my suggestion to go at the start of 11th is based on the assumption that you're rather shy and perhaps lacking confidence. Obviously nothing I said applies if you're just a totally outgoing fun-loving person who's always comfortable in their own skin (which personally I don't think is EVER true for people in high school). So yeah, if you're confident in your ability to just break the ice and TALK then it might be better to take action rather than sit and be lonely and bored by yourself.

 

[Pheenix]

I would say wait for 11th, and make a big project out of perfecting your social skills and mentalities in the extra time. But there are of course many variables I don't know about.

 

[nerdygirl]

Okay. I've moved a lot. Attended 9 different schools. I've never had a really easy time of it, but this is what I can tell you.

At the beginning of the year, nobody will notice you. They're readjusting to going to school, figuring out where their new classes are, seeing if any of their friends are in the same classes.

If you move in the middle of the year, everybody will know you're new. Some people don't like this, because they feel awkward. Some teachers make you introduce yourself, people are staring at you.

Both are kinda uncomfortable beginnings. However- I prefer the second option. At the beginning of the year, most people will already know at least one other person. They'll probably know several other people. Each of those people will know at least one other person. So then they become friends by association. You're the only one who doesn't know a single person. If everybody knows that you're new, they'll be like, "Oh. This person doesn't know anybody yet." If they have no clue, all they'll see is that there's this person who looks like either a loner or a loser, because they don't seem to have a friend in the world.

 

[Ak5]

Okay. I've moved a lot. Attended 9 different schools. I've never had a really easy time of it, but this is what I can tell you.

At the beginning of the year, nobody will notice you. They're readjusting to going to school, figuring out where their new classes are, seeing if any of their friends are in the same classes.

If you move in the middle of the year, everybody will know you're new. Some people don't like this, because they feel awkward. Some teachers make you introduce yourself, people are staring at you.

Both are kinda uncomfortable beginnings. However- I prefer the second option. At the beginning of the year, most people will already know at least one other person. They'll probably know several other people. Each of those people will know at least one other person. So then they become friends by association. You're the only one who doesn't know a single person. If everybody knows that you're new, they'll be like, "Oh. This person doesn't know anybody yet." If they have no clue, all they'll see is that there's this person who looks like either a loner or a loser, because they don't seem to have a friend in the world.

I never thought of that. You make some really interesting points, thanks. Every way its going to take some work for me to fit in.

 

[Ak5]

I think we've decided to move whenever we can. As soon as possible

 

[Luna]

Good luck!

I think it's best to go sooner than later so you'll have more hands-on experience. Experience is how you learn!

 

[Ak5]

Good luck!

I think it's best to go sooner than later so you'll have more hands-on experience. Experience is how you learn!

Thanks and your 100% right about that.

 

[Renley]

you probably know this but wutever you choose make sure you smile, even if you need to force it, but don't make it creepy XD

 

[Ak5]

you probably know this but wutever you choose make sure you smile, even if you need to force it, but don't make it creepy XD

Haha thanks. I know it would be very creepy if I did that.

I'll be as outgoing as possible.

 

[IgnoredOne]

you probably know this but wutever you choose make sure you smile, even if you need to force it, but don't make it creepy XD

Haha thanks. I know it would be very creepy if I did that.

I'll be as outgoing as possible.

It sometimes helps just to force yourself to smile in private, as creepy as it sounds - I'm not absolutely sure why, but it seems to raise one's positivity for any future interaction.

 

[Ak5]

you probably know this but wutever you choose make sure you smile, even if you need to force it, but don't make it creepy XD

Haha thanks. I know it would be very creepy if I did that.

I'll be as outgoing as possible.

It sometimes helps just to force yourself to smile in private, as creepy as it sounds - I'm not absolutely sure why, but it seems to raise one's positivity for any future interaction.

I'll try

 

[VideoVidiVisum]

I would do half of 10th grade there because you'd still get all the benefits of being there at the beginning of the year when 11th grade started and you'd have a semester to work out the kinks in your social skills besides. Plus it's nice to already have been at a school when you become an upperclassman. Just my thoughts.

 

[Ak5]

I would do half of 10th grade there because you'd still get all the benefits of being there at the beginning of the year when 11th grade started and you'd have a semester to work out the kinks in your social skills besides. Plus it's nice to already have been at a school when you become an upperclassman. Just my thoughts.

Thats what I plan on doing.

 

[nerdygirl]

If you will do any fake smiling, please make sure to think about the things that will keep it from looking out of place. For example, make sure it reaches your eyes. If it reaches your eyes, it should also give your nose the slightest crinkle.

... I, erm, have had to plaster way too many fake smiles on my face. That's kinda sad.

 

[Ak5]

If you will do any fake smiling, please make sure to think about the things that will keep it from looking out of place. For example, make sure it reaches your eyes. If it reaches your eyes, it should also give your nose the slightest crinkle.

... I, erm, have had to plaster way too many fake smiles on my face. That's kinda sad.

I don't plan on doing any fake smiling.