My ambition makes it hurt worse

[Fvantom]

One of the reasons Im so depressed all the time is because Im very ambitious when it comes to friendship and love....even after being lonely my whole life, I want more than just someone to talk to, more than just a friend, I need close friends, that I can think of sort of like family, I cant stand to see other people having that, thats what Ive been desperately clawing for my whole life and its right there in front of me, being enjoyed by someone else, but it should be me...it should be all of us actually. Sometimes I wish I could be happy just having somebody to talk to but thats not going to happen...a blessing and a curse.

 

[Tiina63]

It can be so hard to find people who are on our own wavelength, who we connect with emotionally and who share our interests as well. Superficial contact is so unsatisfying. I have various aqaintances who I have a surface relationship with and being with them can feel emptier and lonelier than being alone. So I can understand where you are coming from. I think that the only answer is to keep on trying, to keep going out and meeting people, putting yourself in situations where you are more likely to meet others who are similar to yourself.

 

[Lost Drifter]

The problem is that sometimes we try too hard to force a friendship out of people and it ends up hurting us further when things don’t work out. I have some acquaintances at work that I have tried taking things further with (exchanging emails, meeting up for lunch) but I worry if they can sense the desperation in me. I try to back off so I am not overbearing but that makes them think I’m aloof and yet if I ask too many questions or talk too much I seem to come across as being too needy. I have the same problem with making friends on this forum too, either way I can’t seem to win and end up alone.

So sometimes I think our ambition is what sets us up for the most disappointment. Its good to have it but can be difficult to get the balance right.

 

[SingleNow4ever]

I an understand how you feel. Having a true, strong, and last friendship is one of the greatest gift's ever to be found. I recently started a new job in September. And after a harsh break up in August and this new job paying very well I'd been spending a whole lot of money on myself. And let me tell you nothing fills the void at all, not like I use to feel when I still had really good friends around me all the time.

The biggest problem I've found is finding friendships who have time to spare. All of my great friends are all grown up now. With relationships, full time jobs, and full time school. Great friendships are out there, and if you think they're worth it then be patient, creative, and use your talents.

You Will find someone special soon!

 

[kinzeUK]

It can be so hard to find people who are on our own wavelength, who we connect with emotionally and who share our interests as well. Superficial contact is so unsatisfying. I have various aqaintances who I have a surface relationship with and being with them can feel emptier and lonelier than being alone. So I can understand where you are coming from. I think that the only answer is to keep on trying, to keep going out and meeting people, putting yourself in situations where you are more likely to meet others who are similar to yourself.

I always enjoy reading your replies Tina

I completely agree too.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Beliefs are powerful.
Change your thinking, change your life.
As you root out old ideas and unworkable ideas
you well go through a stage of withdrawls as you step
Out of your comfortzone and the famiar.

Your self esteem, selfworth are the images (beliefs) of yourself.
This process is neutral. You can use it to work for you or against you.
The negative perception or how you see things triggers negative emotional within you...such as depression.

Maybe this forum has just got some magic that sucks me in...

Let me introduce myself, I am an 24+ yo asian from Singapore, a country that is like a prison that you cannot be yourself.

Just feels like the place I am living in does not suit me(screw up). Hiding in my room frozen is kinda my life from boring and useless social circles(screwed up again). A diploma holder in Mechanical Engineering with a 3rd year specialization in Biomedical field, what the hell? Lost interest and market demand is not there(screwed up x3). Found a goal in life that is to seek a discipline in Japan culture and it requires me to stay there for one year, but parents object it as this field of education earns you nothing, which in the end, I have to fight selfishly for it(screwed up big time). Parents want me to study in a university as having a degree earns me much, but I understand my brain is not for this, I object it for I am a not an intelligent person, I rather be a robot, it shows that it is giving something that I never wanted and never asked for(screwed up dunno for how long). That's where no one understands.

Bet you people wanna know if I have a girlfriend, well, I think the question is how long has it been without a girlfriend? That answer will be my age.
I am young but my heart is old, I look rugged and my body is starting to fail me mentally. Got a backache for a month so much I would not care about my health. F 'ed myself over.

Society in this world has moved towards an age of financial imperialism, everything is money. The rich get richer, the poor gets poorer. I earn the least in the family, my two elder brothers earn the most, 2nd eldest is an operation manager, skilled in smoke bombing people and the eldest is an IT manager, impatient and kinda angry man. I usually think of the positive things in them but not this time. And I am just a incompetent worker still earning to achieve my goal with some f up colleagues verbal stabbing at my back even though I have finished my work. F my life.

At least I have a kind heart which will probably make me a fool. I have close friends and most of them have family problems. Being a very good
friends, I lend them money to support, and the total debts I needed to collect is SGD$5040 and that is close to USD$3896. Worse, my 2nd brother who is earning much still owes me SGD$300. I am not rich, I am a thrifty person. But the money has yet to return to me. Still I know they are not that ******* to run away. But the money is affecting my goal in life. F 'ed by others.

Some of you think that I have many friends but I am just feel lonely. And I can tell you that those without friends may not feel lonely.

There are so many things to talk about. Thanks for reading this but putting this out just makes me feel better.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

One of the reasons Im so depressed all the time is because Im very ambitious when it comes to friendship and love....even after being lonely my whole life, I want more than just someone to talk to, more than just a friend, I need close friends, that I can think of sort of like family, I cant stand to see other people having that, thats what Ive been desperately clawing for my whole life and its right there in front of me, being enjoyed by someone else, but it should be me...it should be all of us actually. Sometimes I wish I could be happy just having somebody to talk to but thats not going to happen...a blessing and a curse.

It'll be worth the wait, however, when you do find someone. That's how I try to look at it anyway. What's the point in compromising and going for a poor relationship? That won't solve anything in the long run.

I hope you find the right person soon

 

[Lonely in BC]

I've always felt like I've been on the outside looking in. Whether its relationships at work, friends, personal, even with neighbors it's so hard to bridge that gap to become the easygoing happy person in the company of others. I also think that there is some degree of fearing that I'll cross some unknown boundary and be rejected.

So many people I know often make comments about how self-assured and confident I appear. If only they knew. Certain situations, yes I'm very confident but socially I'm stunted.