God of Niebelheim
Well-known member
Tis is my book Chapter 1 see what u think tell me if there r any errors ^^
Chapter 1:
It was mid day, and everyone in the castle was getting ready for Princess Vivien’s nintenth birthday! It would be held in the ballroom at 8 o’ clock, and it five-thirty right now. Everyone in the castle was invited, including me, to bask in her glory. This would finally give me a chance to talk to Vivien, and we could get to know each other better!
About at seven-thirty everyone started to head to the ballroom to get ready for the party. I headed over at about seven-forty five and Vivien was nowhere to be seen! After a while I started to worry about her. Then I remembered her last birthday. They keep her in the back until party time! I felt so stupid and also relieved that I didn’t tell anyone that I thought she was missing!
At about 8 o’ clock, Vivien came out in a scarlet dress lined with gems and ribbons. She had looked so beautiful! I felt nervous when the time came to hand her our gifts. I saw that everyone had got her so many expensive things, and I just wrote her a poem and picked her flowers! I was going to wait to give her my gift after everyone, so I would have a chance to talk to her about my feelings and see if she felt the same.
Finally, the time came for me to give her my gifts! I felt so nervous I couldn’t even think straight! I walked up to her and handed her the roses with the poem slipped on top. All of the sudden the ground started to shake and I could feel my feet rising form the ground! Boom! Boom! Boom! It was like a hell of fire as the blinding arrows pierced the walls and the catapults shot balls of fire up at us! I could tell we were under attack by something, but what? The ceiling came down all of the sudden killing some of the guests! Pegasus’s swooped down as their riders commanded and grabbed Princess Vivien! Everyone was screaming as the men on top of the Pegasus’s toke the royalty one by one with them out of the castle! King! Queen! Prince! Princess! Until all the royalty was gone! “My precious Vivien” was all that could penetrate my mind right now!
After everything was over I knew what had to be done! I was to get all my men and go save the royalty from what ever took them. But the only problem was I had no men. All of the sudden, something caught my eye. I glanced toward the round only to see a shiny piece of metal placed upon the ground. I have seen many like it before but I couldn’t place my mind to think what it was. I knew who could solve what is was and that is where I went right away! I took it down to an old friends house that I knew could help me figure out what this piece of shining metal was, and could also help me with my quest to save the royalty.
I knocked ever so loudly on the door. I waited patiently for someone to answer the door. A familiar face peered through the doorway. “Jake”? The man said, “Is that you”? “Hey Joey” I said as I waved my hand at the man in the doorway. The door slammed shut and all I could hear was the unlocking of many locks on the door. The door flew open and Joey Fernandez appeared with a shrike. “Well if it isn’t Jake Schidermen! Man it has been forever since I last saw you”. Joey threw a hug at me and tears ran down his face. “What brings you to this side of town?” Joey said excitedly. “Well I actually came here to see if you would know what this is”. I held out the mysterious piece of shining metal. Joey swiped it from my hand, put on his glasses, and examined the metal very closely. “Well if ill be damned”! “What is it?” I said demanding an answer. “It is a piece of halo!” So that means the Angles did this to Olfer Castle!” “Yes, yes they did” “Hey Joey?” “Yeah” “ I was wondering if you could help me save the royalty?” “I’ll be honored!” “It is settled then!” Joey and I traveled to the next town in Olfer, to see if anyone there would help us save the royalty.
Chapter 1:
It was mid day, and everyone in the castle was getting ready for Princess Vivien’s nintenth birthday! It would be held in the ballroom at 8 o’ clock, and it five-thirty right now. Everyone in the castle was invited, including me, to bask in her glory. This would finally give me a chance to talk to Vivien, and we could get to know each other better!
About at seven-thirty everyone started to head to the ballroom to get ready for the party. I headed over at about seven-forty five and Vivien was nowhere to be seen! After a while I started to worry about her. Then I remembered her last birthday. They keep her in the back until party time! I felt so stupid and also relieved that I didn’t tell anyone that I thought she was missing!
At about 8 o’ clock, Vivien came out in a scarlet dress lined with gems and ribbons. She had looked so beautiful! I felt nervous when the time came to hand her our gifts. I saw that everyone had got her so many expensive things, and I just wrote her a poem and picked her flowers! I was going to wait to give her my gift after everyone, so I would have a chance to talk to her about my feelings and see if she felt the same.
Finally, the time came for me to give her my gifts! I felt so nervous I couldn’t even think straight! I walked up to her and handed her the roses with the poem slipped on top. All of the sudden the ground started to shake and I could feel my feet rising form the ground! Boom! Boom! Boom! It was like a hell of fire as the blinding arrows pierced the walls and the catapults shot balls of fire up at us! I could tell we were under attack by something, but what? The ceiling came down all of the sudden killing some of the guests! Pegasus’s swooped down as their riders commanded and grabbed Princess Vivien! Everyone was screaming as the men on top of the Pegasus’s toke the royalty one by one with them out of the castle! King! Queen! Prince! Princess! Until all the royalty was gone! “My precious Vivien” was all that could penetrate my mind right now!
After everything was over I knew what had to be done! I was to get all my men and go save the royalty from what ever took them. But the only problem was I had no men. All of the sudden, something caught my eye. I glanced toward the round only to see a shiny piece of metal placed upon the ground. I have seen many like it before but I couldn’t place my mind to think what it was. I knew who could solve what is was and that is where I went right away! I took it down to an old friends house that I knew could help me figure out what this piece of shining metal was, and could also help me with my quest to save the royalty.
I knocked ever so loudly on the door. I waited patiently for someone to answer the door. A familiar face peered through the doorway. “Jake”? The man said, “Is that you”? “Hey Joey” I said as I waved my hand at the man in the doorway. The door slammed shut and all I could hear was the unlocking of many locks on the door. The door flew open and Joey Fernandez appeared with a shrike. “Well if it isn’t Jake Schidermen! Man it has been forever since I last saw you”. Joey threw a hug at me and tears ran down his face. “What brings you to this side of town?” Joey said excitedly. “Well I actually came here to see if you would know what this is”. I held out the mysterious piece of shining metal. Joey swiped it from my hand, put on his glasses, and examined the metal very closely. “Well if ill be damned”! “What is it?” I said demanding an answer. “It is a piece of halo!” So that means the Angles did this to Olfer Castle!” “Yes, yes they did” “Hey Joey?” “Yeah” “ I was wondering if you could help me save the royalty?” “I’ll be honored!” “It is settled then!” Joey and I traveled to the next town in Olfer, to see if anyone there would help us save the royalty.
