mimizu
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- Nov 26, 2006
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Here is a short log of what I did when I woke up and until now, together with my messed up thoughts. ^^
Today I went to buy eggs in the supermarket. It was grey and cloudy. I took my credit card and went to the ATM machine, about 300 metres from my house. On the way to the ATM machine I passed by a place where they give food to the needy. I wondered several things...
Later I passed by a synagogue with a religious jewish school, it was ringing its bell either for a break, or for a new lesson to start. I wondered how much money did the synagogue donate to that place where poor people can eat meals. Zero. I'm sure. But they did build themselves a huge iron gate with a golden star of david on it. Nobody can pass through without permission with such a gate! It's the house of god, and you're unwelcome there. Neither are dirty poor people. Didn't god say to help others? Didn't he command for humans to love each other? Well, not for those people. For those, god is about building a hierarchical structure, with a school where teachers dominate the children, and stronger children dominate weaker children, bully them, and make their life miserable. And they all study about god every day.
Then I passed by a kindergarten. Kids in the yard were brawling and yelling. Trying to determine the most dominant. Since the age of 4, they already learn to yell in a rude aggressive voice and to punch each other. It was like watching those birds on National Geographic, where the strongest chick kicks all others out of the nest so that it can get more food from its parents. Hierarchy is in human blood.
Why can't those kids play some nice game with each other, why can't they hug each other, why can't they say or do something nice? No, they yell and punch, trying to find out who is the most dominant. Their faces were cringed in aggression, teeth bared, and their roughened loud voices erupting from their throats. Hierarchy had to be built. I was happy that I never went to kindergarten.
Almost near the ATM machine, I passed through a park. There were two grandpas sitting on a bench. They stared at me menacingly, as if I'm their worst enemy. Even when they are 70 years old on pension, they don't give up the desire to dominate. Even the old grandpa tries to make me feel upset by staring at me angrily.
Finally, the ATM machine. It had a little green monochrome monitor and clicky keys. ^_^ I like using ATM machines. They never yell at you, they are clear and unambigous. They don't manipulate you, they don't make you feel upset or worthless. Computers are better than humans.
I took 100 moneyunits, and went to the supermarket.
When I was crossing the street, some man with an earring in his ear decided to stop his car exactly on the roadcrossing, almost bumping into me, so I had to go around his car.
This is against traffic rules, but hey, fresia traffic rules. He has an earring in his ear, so he's more important than traffic rules. What a confident man! Brought up by our lovely society.
He also had a fitting woman sitting next to him, with a look of derision on her face, as if the entire world is too crappy to exist around Her.
There were no eggs in the entire supermarket. I asked the lady in customer service about it, she said "we ordered, but the company didn't bring them, it's a fault on their part not ours"... as if I was blaming her, I just asked. But of course she has to attempt to feel dominant by blaming someone for whatever. She also gave me a nice "fresia off" stare, as if I made some terrible offense by asking her this question and disturbing her peace. Even though the reason why she works there is to answer customers' questions, that's what she gets paid for.
Then, eggless and disappointed I went home. On the way home some guy popped up from behind the corner and bumped into me. I said nothing and kept walking, then from like 30 metres away, he yells "idiot". I thought to show him a middle finger, but then decided not to waste energy being angry at morons and just went home.
Humans are nice. ^_^
Today I went to buy eggs in the supermarket. It was grey and cloudy. I took my credit card and went to the ATM machine, about 300 metres from my house. On the way to the ATM machine I passed by a place where they give food to the needy. I wondered several things...
- What qualifies someone as "needy"? I am having trouble getting enough money for food myself...
- How do they gain money? So many people in the town, so many people are well off, throw away their furniture every year, drive expensive cars. And yet there is this place. And none of them can donate to this place to feed miserable people, not even a single coin. They prefer to go to the mall and eat pizza until they vomit, but give nothing to someone who is starving.
- What would happen if I tried to donate money to this place? I started thinking... they would probably do one of two things, either tell me to fresia off, or take my money and then use it for themselves, instead of buying more food for the poor people who come there to eat. I didn't trust this foodplace at all, if I want to give money to poor people, I would need to go find poor families on my own. Other humans can't be trusted with my money, because I know they will just put it in their pocket, or waste it on stupid crap. They won't make bigger or tastier meals. They don't care about the poor at all, it's just their job that they got, to keep their ass warm.
Later I passed by a synagogue with a religious jewish school, it was ringing its bell either for a break, or for a new lesson to start. I wondered how much money did the synagogue donate to that place where poor people can eat meals. Zero. I'm sure. But they did build themselves a huge iron gate with a golden star of david on it. Nobody can pass through without permission with such a gate! It's the house of god, and you're unwelcome there. Neither are dirty poor people. Didn't god say to help others? Didn't he command for humans to love each other? Well, not for those people. For those, god is about building a hierarchical structure, with a school where teachers dominate the children, and stronger children dominate weaker children, bully them, and make their life miserable. And they all study about god every day.
Then I passed by a kindergarten. Kids in the yard were brawling and yelling. Trying to determine the most dominant. Since the age of 4, they already learn to yell in a rude aggressive voice and to punch each other. It was like watching those birds on National Geographic, where the strongest chick kicks all others out of the nest so that it can get more food from its parents. Hierarchy is in human blood.
Why can't those kids play some nice game with each other, why can't they hug each other, why can't they say or do something nice? No, they yell and punch, trying to find out who is the most dominant. Their faces were cringed in aggression, teeth bared, and their roughened loud voices erupting from their throats. Hierarchy had to be built. I was happy that I never went to kindergarten.
Almost near the ATM machine, I passed through a park. There were two grandpas sitting on a bench. They stared at me menacingly, as if I'm their worst enemy. Even when they are 70 years old on pension, they don't give up the desire to dominate. Even the old grandpa tries to make me feel upset by staring at me angrily.
Finally, the ATM machine. It had a little green monochrome monitor and clicky keys. ^_^ I like using ATM machines. They never yell at you, they are clear and unambigous. They don't manipulate you, they don't make you feel upset or worthless. Computers are better than humans.
I took 100 moneyunits, and went to the supermarket.
When I was crossing the street, some man with an earring in his ear decided to stop his car exactly on the roadcrossing, almost bumping into me, so I had to go around his car.
This is against traffic rules, but hey, fresia traffic rules. He has an earring in his ear, so he's more important than traffic rules. What a confident man! Brought up by our lovely society.
He also had a fitting woman sitting next to him, with a look of derision on her face, as if the entire world is too crappy to exist around Her.
There were no eggs in the entire supermarket. I asked the lady in customer service about it, she said "we ordered, but the company didn't bring them, it's a fault on their part not ours"... as if I was blaming her, I just asked. But of course she has to attempt to feel dominant by blaming someone for whatever. She also gave me a nice "fresia off" stare, as if I made some terrible offense by asking her this question and disturbing her peace. Even though the reason why she works there is to answer customers' questions, that's what she gets paid for.
Then, eggless and disappointed I went home. On the way home some guy popped up from behind the corner and bumped into me. I said nothing and kept walking, then from like 30 metres away, he yells "idiot". I thought to show him a middle finger, but then decided not to waste energy being angry at morons and just went home.
Humans are nice. ^_^