charlie brown
Member
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2016
- Messages
- 9
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Not trying to offend anyone, but I've been treated like I'm worthless by women . Men have been cruel too. But I don't want to date a man. So I focus on women. I got criticized and disagreed with yesterday by a popular poster and member, who shall go nameless. I think she is a narcissist feeding off the weak and heatbroken. Had the nerve to tell me I only THOUGHT I tried but not really, and everything I had happen to me I could choose its effect, or basically not to be affected, yeah I can choose not to be devastated when my fiance leaves me and before that chose to watch yankees games instead of spend time with me. My life has been a nightmare from year 5 when my father left to live with another woman. My sister left when I was 10 and I became Isolated with few or no friends. I was bullied in school and this was because I was smarter than the rich kids, but very short and small. I grew later after high school. I was locked in a locker for 2 hours in a jock strap so to be fair guys have treated me like crap most of my life too. There is alot more after high school as now I am in September of life. Spending it alone, watching couples have all the fun. I was told by a woman yesterday that there is a positive in every thing that happens to you even though she was raped, she says it made her stronger. Ok I guess we should all get raped. Of course this new age philosophy of possitivity is possitively SICKENING. Its obsessing on ignoring the reality of what really happens and straining to make something positive out of something totally negative, let me tell you I have had 4 attempts made to kill me, 4 major heartbreaks, 3 0r 4 nervous breakdowns, 2 near fatal car accidents, witnessed 4 people die, been taken for every penny I had by my exwife, thrown out of 2 churches, and I will tell you more later, but NONE of this made me stronger or better, I'm damaged and have social problems along with PTSD (nothing positive about that) . Our past makes us what we are, our experiences shape our personalities, and I have had many many bad experiences. I am not saying I have had the only hard life at all. But because of someone elses misery, I will not feed off that and say I am ok cuz they have it worse. That is a sick approach and does not work for me anyway. I spent the last 90 days trying to get 1 date, nothing, contacted 1000 women, I'm not a bad looking guy, and I am kind and warmhearted in spite of my pain, but I won't deny my pain. I need someone to help me get well, I am willing to help them too. People have found fault with this, saying we need no one and must be happy on our own, BS, not going to happen. I need a nice lady to help me. One to grow old with, one that won't abandon me. I have been asked why do you even try anymore with all that heartbreak, I don't know any other way to heal but by love , mutual unconditional love. The philosophy of pop psychology today is gross to me, it does not work. I am tired of these pat answer people , please shut up with pat answers and this "modern" approach to true emotional pain. I am drowning and I need someone to pull me out, but they all run away when they find out I have some problems. Like they have none. Women pick to find faults and point to any reason to reject me, even cuz I liked bossa nova and Walter Matthau Jack Lemon movies, she said we didnt have anything in common, I could write an encyclopedia but I will stop there , but don't assume you have read everything, this is only a partial list of crap. Why can't a decent looking kind woman pay attention to me ? I see them with asses all the time and guys that couldnt hold a candle to me intellectually, or romantically I am certain. My IQ is 145 and I have 3 degrees, I have many interests and accomplishments, but everything I try to do to get with a nice girl goes sour. I'm not sure many exist, and are available. If they do, I can't find em. I am tired of promise breakers, and women with double standards, and there are MANY of those. I will give but I expect to get in return. Thats fair and square. But it seems I feel optional with all the independent women, they just don't need us the way they used to. And I want to be needed too. There is nothing wrong with that. I should have lived 100 years ago, I feel like a man out of time, I don't belong anywhere, my thoughts seem antiquaited to most, eccentric to some, even selfish and crazy to others. SORRY so long. But there is alot on my heart, I'm bleeding, please be kind. I want a love that won't die. I feel I am forced to lie about myself to get someone, because they can't handle the truth. I don't want to lie, I just want to share love. Horrible man huh ? And my sister died in may, my son left for college the other day so I got NOBODY ! Am I allowed to mention I am extremely depressed and considerations based on that ? I will not be specific but I think you know hat I mean. I feel dejected rejected and despondent. Who will help me? I can't save myself ... I'm drowning and can't swim. I was told to keep getting up after being knocked down, well, I'm just about knocked out.