My girl likes girls...?

[crowtching tiger]

Well I hope this is the right place. :x

So anyways, I've been thinking lately my gf likes girls. She denies it, but I constantly feel like she's lying to me. She will flirt with other girls, and kiss them on the cheek or "slap" them certain places (haha), and I get frustrated with it. She says that she's just joking, and her friends are too, and that they're not serious. I am one to not be serious, but I don't do that stuff. It just feels weird to me, idk maybe it's just me...

I use to love this girl, but this is an everyday reoccurring thing... It's taking our relationship downhill. Whenever I see or think about it, I get mad. We don't really have any problems besides this, and we don't really fight. But I don't know how long I can deal with it. Any thoughts or opinions would be great...

Thanks.

 

[nerdygirl]

Okay. I'm not saying she is, or isn't into girls. Just one thing you should consider. Does your girlfriend have a history of lying to you? If not... you might want to consider having a little faith in her.

Of course, you said you USED to love her. If this is the only issue you have, and it's already turning your feelings into a past tense situation, you might want to consider leaving.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Awaaah ..man

There's always another way you can look at this....
Let her get you and another female in bed with her at the sametime..it'll make her very, very happy

Some women are really touchy...
Err????...women kiss each other on the cheek all the time.
In some culture (male and female)...people kiss each other on the cheek to greet.
In some culture only men hold hands in public.

honeysuckle I hug male friends all the time when i greet them...Some judgemental people might think I'm gay or there's wrong with me..That's their fucken problem.
Even if I am gay?? (I'm not..I wasn't built or borned gay)...What's wrong with being gay? Nothing....

If she's bi-sexual...it's not her fualt.
So if she's just doing that. it might just be her way of releaving tension of her natural de-sire.
mmmm.....if you don't have problems beside this...Don't fresia it up.
She comes home to you every night dosn't she??? Think about it...the facts, not what's in your creative thought process. (delusions)
You'll get yourself into a mind strom.
I let my jealousy destroyed a relationship i was in...i messed that up, i really did.

Ask yourself why are you bothered by this....
Are you worried what other people might think???

If you truely love her....You'll love her.

Also face your fears....
Are you afraid of loosing her???
If you are ...Let go or face your fears.
Your minds is very powerful. If this fear dominate your mind wheather it's subtle or not. Ultimate you'll creat this reality or turn them into actions.
That's why people suggest that we face our fears and let go of them.
In other words...are you setting yourself up to experince your worst fears? Think about this for a minute.
Have you ever had fears of failing, not doing something right, or crahing into something? Then the next thing you know...your experincing it in reality.
We are masters of our own lives....

That's what drove my jealousy...beneath all of that...I was really, really afraid of loosing her.
Chelle had a same sort of fears..she was very afriad i was going to leave her.

If you deem you can't deal with it becuase of whatever morals, values, conditioning that you have and you can't beyound this,
Ultimately you'll leave her.

There's always another way you can look at this...Since she's you're girl...you think you have her in the bag...hahahaaa (starting to take her for granted)
maybe it's just time for you to start chasing her again. Falling love with her again. Romance her again. Let her beauty or whatever it is that you find attrative
about her dominate your mind again...Re-Focus. That's how couples in long term relationship stay togehter...they fall in and out of love...but fall in love again and again.
You know the old saying..."you gatta keep the fire buring" When the flames gets low add more love into it.
Maybe make a gratitude list about her...about your life in general. The more grateful you are...the better life gets. It's a paradox.
Ultimately...this gets you into positive thinking...therefore positive actions and outcome.
It gets you out of living in fears...

I'm grateful Chelle is my life again. I'm grateful for all the things she's done for me.
I love her very much.

 

[crowtching tiger]

Yeah, she has lied to me before. But it was about things you WANNA lie about. Haha.

and Idk... I guess I just feel like I'm not good enough? I feel like WE'RE dating and she should want ME, not others. As selfish as that sounds. She says I'm perfect for her, but it just doesn't feel that way when she's flirting with others... Ya know? She used to be real flirty, but she's gotten better cause she REALLY likes me. She just doesn't seem to care when it comes to girls tho..

 

[EveWasFramed]

She may feel that it's "safe" to flirt with other girls. That way, she isn't risking making you angry by flirting with other guys. Some women just have flirty personalities. It could also be that she is bi or there could be a host of other explanations. If you've already talked with her about it, and she says she isn't, then there's nothing you can do as far that goes. These other girls she flirts with....are any of them "attached?" You know...bf, gf, whatever?

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

how's the sex life?

maybe she wants a threesome?

that could be good!



embrace life!!!!!!!!!

could be a blessing in disguise...

 

[crowtching tiger]

Some of the girls have bfs, some don't.

And haha it's great, but no. If it was a blessing, I don't think I'd be so mad about it..

 

[Phaedron]

I'm surprised no one has said this:

Girls tend to be more affectionate with each other and their friends, whereas guys, even best friends, tend to not be open with their feelings. Guys don't go around hugging, kissing, and slapping each other on the ass (unless perhaps they are gay) but it's normal for girls.

IMO you need to just get over this thing and stop being jealous. She will be happy that you trust her. Instead try a more positive approach that leads to greater intimacy, honesty, and trust. The deeper two people love each other, the less need there is for jealousy.

My girl had a best friend she had kissed a few times, and in high school everyone thought they were lesbians. So they told people they were, but really her friend only dates gay guys, and my girlfriend is disgusted with the thought of actually doing anything with her (though she is Bi) There was no history of lying, and I made it clear to be upfront about our sexual needs and past relationships. she knows if they had been lovers in the past it was fine by me, no reason to lie about it. It wouldn't change how I feel about her friend either, I don't like her, but my disdain has nothing to do with her possibly having been involved with my girlfriend.

My girl has a large network of friends and family that are close, where as I have very very few. It can be very frustrating, but learn to share the love, and know that you are not more important then other people in her life, your relationship just happens to be a romantic and sexual one. That's likely the truth of it.

 

[Despair]

If you have a good friend who is willing to help, you could try doing the same thing to her. Only don't make it obvious. Start by appearing to have become more emotional and in touch with your feminine side. Then after a while, hang out more with your friend, who supposedly is doing the same. Tell her not to worry, that you're not turning gay. Just do this for a while, then abrutly stop doing it, and say you were just going through a phase.

 

[Phaedron]

That will likely backfire. If she doesn't see through it, she'll just be happy for you. Trust me, it's just a girl thing. Learn to accept it and move on. There's no need to become a hipocrit over this.

 

[evanescencefan91]

try not to worry about it too much, straight girls are very comfortable about cozying up to other girls and will often do it just for giggles, but don't worry they still very much do love men.

If she really is gay then she'll come out when she's ready (give her my cell number just in case ) jk

I mean does she seem hesitant at all about when you guys are having intamite moments? if she doesn't then you can probably rule out her being gay. If it really bother's you than just ask her not to do it so much when you're around

personally what I would do is just enjoy the subtle and magical little girl on girl moments, and maybe you can playfully join in with her

but anyways don't worrry about I'm things will turn out fine just try and keep your cool man

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

personally,

i would just show up to her place dressed like a pizza delivery man with a 'female sidekick trainee' (aka - delivery girl, scantily clad), put a little porno music on the radio and see how she reacts.

her reaction will tell you lots.

 

[Badjedidude]

She probably does it because it bugs you so much. Most "straight" girls only do the "lesbo" thing to get attention from guys...so if she sees that it's bothering you or grabbing your attention, then YEAH, she's gonna do it.

Don't worry about it so much. Women generally experiment sexually more than men do, especially during the teen years...so it's no biggie. Just make sure she knows you're there for her, and ready to go when she is.

----Steve

 

[crowtching tiger]

No I won't pretend I'm gay just to get back at her haha. but maybe I am jealous. She is like the first person I've really liked, so I don't wanna lose her. To anyone. Maybe I should just try to get over it.

---

I'm just gonna completely ignore it like I don't care. I'll let her do whatever she wants.

---

"I mean does she seem hesitant at all about when you guys are having intamite moments?"

Lmao. Maybe with some things, but for the most part. Nope, haha.

---

She probably does it because it bugs you so much. Most "straight" girls only do the "lesbo" thing to get attention from guys...so if she sees that it's bothering you or grabbing your attention, then YEAH, she's gonna do it.

I think you might actually be right on this one, thanks a lot.

 

[SophiaGrace]

you know, if a guy was kissing another guy in front of his girlfriend, it'd be taken a lot more seriously >_>

 

[crowtching tiger]

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh, haha.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

i would just be like "wow, i think it's hot when two chics get it on!" and then give her an uncomfortable gaze for like five minutes without blinking and read her body language!

by the way, i'm just razzing you.

i had my heart and head destroyed by my first love going all BI on me and thinking it was a permission slip to fresia anyone, anywhere.

wasn't right for five years, my man.

 

[crowtching tiger]

Yeah see I couldn't take that, first hint of that and she's gone haha.

 

[iwasaloverb4thiswar]

Also, women tend to me more physically relaxed and intimate with each other in completely platonic relationships...I don't know how much time you've spent socializing with groups of women but we (in very general terms) are usually pretty open with each other. I'd like to point out that it seems this is more of a jealousy issue on your part then a misbehavior issue on hers; from your responses it sounds like you would envy the attention she was giving other people regardless of sex. It seems that this friendly/flirtatious behavior is very much a part of her personality so I think you should either relax and trust her and stop focusing on what she is doing so much, or if it really bothers you, then leave.

 

[crowtching tiger]

Yeah, i've just given up on it. I'll let her do what she wants to.