it's very, very hard.
I'm sorry that you're going thought this.
As long as he's living in denial and admit to himself there's a problem
the behavior will continue. It's basic text 101 symtoms of addicts
behaviors. Trying to communicate with an addict is like talking
to a brick wall or empty space. Nothing gets through.
Sometimes trying to cummunicate will actaully make you feel worst and more rejected.
Therefore it re-enforce the addicts behaviors even more...and an excuse to go use.
What's hurting you is...you're not in denial of his problems.
The conditions that you're living in is not right or healthy. You know this.
You're second guessing youself becuase you're emotionally
attached. You're going through what many partners of
addicts gose through..."stockholm syndrom"
Addicts don't have relationships...they hold hostages.
This is how your living in denial or...getting effected by it.
That's bascailly what my ex-gf did...If she couldn't have
me...no one else would either...and she went way out of
her way to make sure of it. But when we were together
she treated like honeysuckle or just blew me off as if i was nothing.
This is what I went through....
Until the pain of staying became greater than the pain of leaving.
I was staying....
I also felt I've invested so much time and engery into the relationship,
it was difficult to walk away from. Even at the 10 years mark,
Sherry was still using...I fell deeper into depression and couldn't
walk away..
Guilt, emotional attachments, fear, lonilness, love stravations.
I was tired all the time too. I constantly had a headache and
felt like I had a fever all the time
I'm around your age. I don't lack sex drive that's for sure. (most people in this forum thinks I don't anywho
)
Even if I'm not as sexaully active as i used to be.
There's love ,effection, respect, romance, compassion, understanding, companionship, friendship...etc