my guy or is he.

[mssueboop]

I have a very confusing relationship if that is what you want to call it.things started off great he was so sweet,caring sexy and couldn't keep his hands off me and things in the sac were great.those romantic text messages.then all of a sudden everything stopped.its like he can't stand to be near me or kiss me.he won't even sleep in the same room with me anymore.yet for some reason i still love him.i think it is the fear of being alone and finding someone else.it is like he doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me. i tell him i love him and i get yea.what to do?

 

[Minus]

The other day a ran across the term "New Relationship Energy" which was defined as a state of mind experienced at the beginning of most significant sexual and romantic relationships, typically involving heightened emotional and sexual receptivity and excitement. It begins with the earliest attractions, grows into full force when mutuality is established, and slowly fades over months to years.

I imagine the first thing would be to talk to him. To tell him how this coldness or distance is making you feel. See what he has to say about it. If he is aware of what he is doing or if there is a reason for it.

 

[DayvanCowboy]

i tell him i love him and i get yea.what to do?

heh. Unless you talk to him I have to say that he seems to not just have his heart in it anymore. Especially with such a lame response when a woman tells him that she loves him. Also Minus made a great post and I see it as that way. Many relationships start off so great , but there are points where those feelings just die out. Some quicker than others. See what he has to say, but I would not really take his word for it. Be careful and good luck.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I can't give you any advice.

A relationship is not easy nor perfect. Variouse stage a couple
and go though. Communication is Key, True communications.

It can get very, very complicated at times.
There's not a right or wrong answer for everyone from anyone.

emotions are high and sometime we don't make the best
of decision if we are in a state of emotional distressed
or hurted.

The chase is over and the you don't know what you have
until it's gone. (hint) If you wish to continue the games.

Porn can become an addiction..like any addiction.
The person that's addicted are disconnected, inconsiderate of
other, self-fish, self-serving. Addicts hurt the people closest
to them of course. There's the Dr. jeckle and Mr. Hyde routine.
Living with an addict..somehow you might feel there's something wrong with yourself.
Such as..
"am i not good enough or what?"
"what's wrong with me"

If you hang around long enough...You'll actaully belive it.
You'll start to second guess yourself...

Simply ask yourself these question....

Am I worth more than the fucken porn ?
Is this the same person I fell in love with ?
Do I not deserve the repect of not to be cheated on ?
Was a commitment or a mutual understanding broken.
Is this pure ? Do i have a gut instink that something is not right.
Do I deserve better than this ?


The signs are there...it is what is it. ( i hope I'm wrong)

You might have sit down....write and talk to others...
Not to get advice...but to release the confusion in your
mind and posibly ask for a hug from families and friends.
Please get the love and support you need....evidently he's not giving you love.
I'm sorry..that you hurt.

As a woman and a person, you know as will as I do....you can't make anyone love you.
He has to want it or have it. He can't give you what he dosn't have...or is willing.
If he is a man and can make chioces on his own....He too must be willing to live with consequences of his actions.
In most likelyhood...he will continue doing it as long as he gets away with it.

You will continue to suffer and hurt if you put up with it...Whether you stay or leave..
If nothing changes...nothing changes.
You can only change yourself and not him.

The decision is your's to make...Not the easiest decision in the world.
You are a woman...respect yourself. Make the best decision for you.

These are my experience...
thou my ex-gf wasn't into porn. Her addiction of chioce
was gambling. A screen that gave her expensive thrills.
Yes she flirted all the time too and it got progressively worst on that front too.
Yes, I spent many, many weekends, holidays, home alone wating for her.
5 years into our relationship was when her gambling addcition started.
I don't even know who the person is inside her body, today.

Like you said......
In the begining time was on our side
In the begining we had everything.

 

[charliefrown]

dont be scared of losing the time invested. if the relationship isent what you want and you've undertook every channel to remedy the perceived problem with no avail...then it may be time to let go and stop wasting more time on something that isent going to happen

 

[SophiaGrace]

wow if you get "yea" when you say "i love you" that might mean that he doesnt reciprocate your feelings at all.

I'd be bothered by that if I were you. Maybe its too soon for him to say I love you? or has he said tha tbefore and he's just stopped?

If he has just stopped saying it he was lying about it in the first place

 

[Zak]

I say talk to him about it. A serious talk. That would be the best option other than judging it by our views. Maybe there is some other issue. You will never know if you dont ask.

 

[mssueboop]

I can't give you any advice.

A relationship is not easy nor perfect. Variouse stage a couple
and go though. Communication is Key, True communications.

It can get very, very complicated at times.
There's not a right or wrong answer for everyone from anyone.

emotions are high and sometime we don't make the best
of decision if we are in a state of emotional distressed
or hurted.

The chase is over and the you don't know what you have
until it's gone. (hint) If you wish to continue the games.

Porn can become an addiction..like any addiction.
The person that's addicted are disconnected, inconsiderate of
other, self-fish, self-serving. Addicts hurt the people closest
to them of course. There's the Dr. jeckle and Mr. Hyde routine.
Living with an addict..somehow you might feel there's something wrong with yourself.
Such as..
"am i not good enough or what?"
"what's wrong with me"

If you hang around long enough...You'll actaully belive it.
You'll start to second guess yourself...

Simply ask yourself these question....

Am I worth more than the fucken porn ?
Is this the same person I fell in love with ?
Do I not deserve the repect of not to be cheated on ?
Was a commitment or a mutual understanding broken.
Is this pure ? Do i have a gut instink that something is not right.
Do I deserve better than this ?


The signs are there...it is what is it. ( i hope I'm wrong)

You might have sit down....write and talk to others...
Not to get advice...but to release the confusion in your
mind and posibly ask for a hug from families and friends.
Please get the love and support you need....evidently he's not giving you love.
I'm sorry..that you hurt.

As a woman and a person, you know as will as I do....you can't make anyone love you.
He has to want it or have it. He can't give you what he dosn't have...or is willing.
If he is a man and can make chioces on his own....He too must be willing to live with consequences of his actions.
In most likelyhood...he will continue doing it as long as he gets away with it.

You will continue to suffer and hurt if you put up with it...Whether you stay or leave..
If nothing changes...nothing changes.
You can only change yourself and not him.

The decision is your's to make...Not the easiest decision in the world.
You are a woman...respect yourself. Make the best decision for you.

These are my experience...
thou my ex-gf wasn't into porn. Her addiction of chioce
was gambling. A screen that gave her expensive thrills.
Yes she flirted all the time too and it got progressively worst on that front too.
Yes, I spent many, many weekends, holidays, home alone wating for her.
5 years into our relationship was when her gambling addcition started.
I don't even know who the person is inside her body, today.

Like you said......
In the begining time was on our side
In the begining we had everything.

 

[mssueboop]

you are all right it has been two years.i try talking i get the same response.not now,or don't start.all i do is tr to talk.not yell or nag.

 

[Hijacc]

*sigh*

I'm sorry but this guy sounds like a jerk.

Especially if you say I love you and his only response is "sure, whatever" you know?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

it's very, very hard.
I'm sorry that you're going thought this.

As long as he's living in denial and admit to himself there's a problem
the behavior will continue. It's basic text 101 symtoms of addicts
behaviors. Trying to communicate with an addict is like talking
to a brick wall or empty space. Nothing gets through.
Sometimes trying to cummunicate will actaully make you feel worst and more rejected.
Therefore it re-enforce the addicts behaviors even more...and an excuse to go use.

What's hurting you is...you're not in denial of his problems.
The conditions that you're living in is not right or healthy. You know this.

You're second guessing youself becuase you're emotionally
attached. You're going through what many partners of
addicts gose through..."stockholm syndrom"
Addicts don't have relationships...they hold hostages.
This is how your living in denial or...getting effected by it.


That's bascailly what my ex-gf did...If she couldn't have
me...no one else would either...and she went way out of
her way to make sure of it. But when we were together
she treated like honeysuckle or just blew me off as if i was nothing.

This is what I went through....
Until the pain of staying became greater than the pain of leaving.
I was staying....
I also felt I've invested so much time and engery into the relationship,
it was difficult to walk away from. Even at the 10 years mark,
Sherry was still using...I fell deeper into depression and couldn't
walk away..

Guilt, emotional attachments, fear, lonilness, love stravations.
I was tired all the time too. I constantly had a headache and
felt like I had a fever all the time

I'm around your age. I don't lack sex drive that's for sure. (most people in this forum thinks I don't anywho )
Even if I'm not as sexaully active as i used to be.
There's love ,effection, respect, romance, compassion, understanding, companionship, friendship...etc