Not sure what Im doing on this site guys, Im new to all of this. Im just sad, I have no friends and am really depressed, I feel so isolated and stuck in a rut and need to find a way out.. and I have seriously thought of a simple way out, but would not want to hurt my family. I hate my job, I have been working at for about 18 months now, its making me sick and fed up with life. The trouble is I would love to quit, but I live above where I work, and really have no where else to go, just feel ashamed that I have messed my life up and have just had enough!! 35 years old now, no friends, no children, no house, plenty of debt and a honeysuckle job! just wish I could start all over it sucks!
My job has made me lonely
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Alienated
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Well are you looking for a different job ? Friends will only cost you more money, they suck in more ways than one.
If it makes you feel better... I'm 48 and my family is dead, never married, no kids, no job, no house, and I wouldn't be here if I had friends, and I don't think I could even get a date with the Wicked Witch of the West !!
All I have on Earth is some money my mom left me when she died. So money isn't the answer to your problems. We are all having problems and you are not alone. My life sucks too !!
If it makes you feel better... I'm 48 and my family is dead, never married, no kids, no job, no house, and I wouldn't be here if I had friends, and I don't think I could even get a date with the Wicked Witch of the West !!
All I have on Earth is some money my mom left me when she died. So money isn't the answer to your problems. We are all having problems and you are not alone. My life sucks too !!
mikeyblue said:
if you hate your job then try and make it up with your spare time. Do plenty of stuff that you enjoy when you aren't working. And if your depressed at work, think about what your going to do on your next day off.
mikeyblue said:
It sounds like your over reacting to your feelings, you shouldn't feel ashamed at all. At least you HAVE a job and a place to live, OK so you don't like your job, but you're not stuck to the same one for the rest of your life, you could seek other work while still working.
If you really want to start over then now is about the right time, you have no dependencies (aside from your job) or commitments. Most people these days are in debt, it's nothing really unusual, this is just something that will take time to clear. Remember that 35 isn't old, you can still make changes to your life.
Alienated said:
I am looking for another job, its just difficult to get my head up and feel confident, sorry to hear about your family, I guess in some respects I am lucky that I have most of my family close, just wish I could do something to make them proud! I don't know if the wicked witch of the west would date you, she's my boss! and your better off not dating her! thanks for making me feel not alone!
Tiina63 said:
At the moment there is no one in my family in a position to help, and I feel I have been such a burden to them in the past, unfortunately I don't know anyone else either, have lost all my friends and at this moment don't feel that I am able to make new friends
9006 said:
Thankyou, I guess its never too late, it just seems difficult to find motivation and confidence to do anything, maybe I have over reacted a little to my feelings, but Ive just got so down about the whole thing, feel that I have wasted my life, but I guess that stems from being alone for a long time, wouldn't really no where to start to make changes? any advice
mikeyblue said:
I had to make sure I didn't write that. Totally know how you feel I'm in a similar situation.
theglasscell
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I can relate. I have been on the graveyard shift over three years now and I can't change jobs for financial reasons. It can be lonely. Especially being alone at work all night when most people are sleeping.
I don't know what helps. I guess just focus on some goal that will make you feel better. I am close to your age. I cleared up my debt and now I'm just focusing on saving six months worth of salary since I read that it's good to have that amount as an emergency fund. The closer I get to that it makes me feel better.
A lot of people probably say this but I think joining or gym or getting into some kind of fitness routine would help, especially with lifting your mood.
I don't know what helps. I guess just focus on some goal that will make you feel better. I am close to your age. I cleared up my debt and now I'm just focusing on saving six months worth of salary since I read that it's good to have that amount as an emergency fund. The closer I get to that it makes me feel better.
A lot of people probably say this but I think joining or gym or getting into some kind of fitness routine would help, especially with lifting your mood.
African_weasel
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I hope everything works out for you. I'm planning to visit a psychologist for my problems next month
Sci-Fi said:
Yep, I'm in the same boat. I'm around the same age and, unfortunately, made a stupid career choice that required an expensive education, and am still paying off my student loans. Despite my debt, I've decided to switch careers once again, because if I don't, I fear my miserable job will lead to an early grave. I hate it SO much!
Not doing well in the friend department either. Just taking life day by day.
Anyway, I don't have any advice to offer, just commiserating. I hope things turn around soon for you and anyone who's in a similar situation. *hugs*
Iceman1978
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A toxic work atmosphere can be one of the worst things for your sense of self-worth, especially when you consider how many hours each week you spend at work. There are some workplaces where emotional abuse is almost ingrained into the corporate culture, and you should avoid those places like the plague. Make sure you do your homework before applying with a company. Find out what others have said about working there, what the rate of turnover is, whether they've been sued recently, etc.
Solivagant
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Iceman1978 said:
^ Agreed!
Shut_Out said:
^ Same here, especially about the expensive education. That can put you in a terrible bind, especially if you figure out later that you made the wrong choice for you.
"A man has to love his work. Sometimes even as much as he loves his wife, because he will spend more with the former than he will with the latter."
I heard that the other day, and for me it rings true.
Some people don't care what they do as long as they are doing something and bringing in money. Others need to love their work, or life is not worth living. Most people are somewhere in the middle. I'm closer to the latter. The idea of working a miserable job that doesn't suit me day in and day out is soul-crushing. But at the moment I have no options, and I'm sick about it. I'm having enough trouble finding any work at all.
I don't have any advice either, I just know the feeling. Finding good work can be difficult for some, and I wish you the best of luck.
Iceman1978
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About ten years ago I was working for a small business and was treated so badly that there were times when I felt sick to my stomach on the way in. The owner (who often berated me for trivial things, and in front of customers), plus two of the employees that were part of a clique, seemed to go out of their way to be cruel to me. I can even remember times when one would make a particularly insulting remark, and the other would give them a high five. I emailed a guy in England that I had read about in an article on workplace bullying, and he said that the situation I described was very typical of a toxic environment.
Then, at another company I worked for, there was one employee that was just basically a nasty b****. This is the same one who ignored me when I said hello, or wished her a good weekend, and she wouldn't even acknowledge that I had spoken to her. The only time she did speak to me was to say something insulting. She even went so far as to make fun of my handwriting.
I'm thankful now that I don't have to tolerate people like that, but there are times when the trauma of the past gets to me and has a way of making me feel bad about myself.
Here's the thing though. At the small business the owner was having customers leave the checks blank, then she would make them out to cash and go to the customers bank. There were thousands of dollars every month that went under the table, and unreported for tax purposes. At the second place, the behavior of the other co-worker was often done in front of others, which meant that I had witnesses.
In both cases, I could have made things very difficult for these people. I could have reported the first one to the IRS, and brought a harassment claim against the second. Yet in both cases, I choose not to take action, figuring that they weren't worth it.
So does that make me a wimp?
Then, at another company I worked for, there was one employee that was just basically a nasty b****. This is the same one who ignored me when I said hello, or wished her a good weekend, and she wouldn't even acknowledge that I had spoken to her. The only time she did speak to me was to say something insulting. She even went so far as to make fun of my handwriting.
I'm thankful now that I don't have to tolerate people like that, but there are times when the trauma of the past gets to me and has a way of making me feel bad about myself.
Here's the thing though. At the small business the owner was having customers leave the checks blank, then she would make them out to cash and go to the customers bank. There were thousands of dollars every month that went under the table, and unreported for tax purposes. At the second place, the behavior of the other co-worker was often done in front of others, which meant that I had witnesses.
In both cases, I could have made things very difficult for these people. I could have reported the first one to the IRS, and brought a harassment claim against the second. Yet in both cases, I choose not to take action, figuring that they weren't worth it.
So does that make me a wimp?
Solivagant
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Iceman1978 said:
^ Me too. There have been years when I would vomit every morning before going to work or school because I was so anxious about the bullying.
Sounds like I had some similar experiences to you, and others I'd rather not get into. Heh, I've even had my handwriting made fun of like you, though I just brushed it off because it was so petty and trifling. I mean seriously, handwriting? They were really scraping the bottom of the barrel with that one.
Iceman1978
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Yes, that they were. I'm sorry that you've had to go through things like this as I have.
Even though it happened a long time ago, I still have the belief that it represents the way women in general treat me. I mean, seriously, for someone to make fun of your handwriting is being cruel just for the sake of it. I don't understand what it is that I've done, or could have done, to make people hate me so much.
Even though it happened a long time ago, I still have the belief that it represents the way women in general treat me. I mean, seriously, for someone to make fun of your handwriting is being cruel just for the sake of it. I don't understand what it is that I've done, or could have done, to make people hate me so much.
