My Life = Not So Good

[cloister2]

It would be hard to believe what I've had to deal with in terms of being victimized. It's almost unbelievable that things have gone so poorly for me. Besides depression I think my life has been a major disappointment. I think people are a bunch of animals for the most part. Someone with my disposition just can't exist in this society.

I live in my parents' house and I'm 33. I don't enjoy a **** thing in life anymore. I hate going to these banal classes I signed up for for no reason but to keep occupied. My muscles are as taught as a wire, I never sleep, and I was being treated for depression/social anxiety.

I have decided never to go out unless it's for necessities. My life is too empty and boring. Don't bother trying to date, it's just pathetic at this point. The bitterness of what my life could have been is a harsh draught to swallow. Live under the radar. Depression has wracked me. Im trying to work on it but its hard. Poor me.

 

[LoneKiller]

Hi cloister2

Although I sympathize with you and your suffering, you have become very bitter, and it's understandable, but you can't go through life as a recluse because of it. It will only intensify your pain, which for some, can result in suicide.

It is tough to conquer this kind of problem. You have the right to be happy just like anyone else. I'm not going sit here and tell you about all my issues and how bad I may have it. You already know that others have their own pain, and that I'm sure doesn't bring you much comfort knowing that.

If you lock yourself away from society because of your bitterness and pain it will just continue to eat away at you until you will become mentally crippled in a way that is so horrific you will wish that you hadn't made the choices that you described in this thread.

Nobody is going to come to your door offering you eternal bliss if you become a recluse. Bobby Fischer was a recluse for a long ass time, and it certainly didn't help his case any. He was very eccentric as it was. It only made him more so.

Don't think for one second that you don't deserve happiness and a meaningful life like other people. You deserve it, but it's going to be difficult. It takes work. It will also be very rewarding if you want it bad enough. You can take all the medication you want in an effort to cure your pain if you want. Pills help, but you have to work with them. They aren't miraculous by themselves.

Staying inside 24/7 is only going to make your dilemma worse, I promise you. Do some things to help soften your heart such as kind acts without expecting anything in return. In time, it will prove therapeutic and you will love and respect yourself more for it.

I could go on and on about this but I'm not going to. You need to get busy living, or get busy dying. The choice is inside you. It's not society's obligation to provide you solace, it's your job to seek it out.

Do this with all sincerity and conviction, and at the end of the road the key to your happiness will be there waiting for you.

 

[Tiina63]

I agree with lonekiller.
You have all my sympathy for the place you are in. I am sending you a hug.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well....youre supose to feel honeysuckle when thing
gose bad. Its normal.

Something inside of you is telling you
something is not right...throigh your feelings...
So dont hate yourself for having these
messed up feeling....

you know...
if you aint getting laid...you feel like honeysuckle.
Your mind and body is telling you to go
get kaid.

if you feel lonely or like honeysuckle cuase you're
not being interactive with people...
Your feelings are telling you to go and hang out
with people.

---

sometime you have to take the body first
then the mind will follow....

other times...if your options are limited.
such as making money is not the avaliabe
actions you can take for a quicker results...
Learn how to refocus your thoughts and feelings
to positve things. Itll prevent ypu from going
into a deoression. Plus itll put you back in
harmony with yourself. Many other options
and ideas might cone into your life that you havnt
considered.

 

[cloister2]

Thanks. I didnt provide many details but your responses were so helpful. I'm trying to put things into perspective and climb out of this pit.
Cloister

 

[beautifulsorrow]

you CAN change things and never believe for a second that you're stuck in there forever.If your not feeling emotion try trigerring bottled up emotions, you'll be amazed how much you've stuffed in there (if you have) and you'll understand how it affected your life. Try to look for safe but extreme experiences that will kind of get you going.

 

[MadMonkè]

those are some good ideas.
this is a good place to be.
enjoy your stay.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Life sucks, and it's hard. But it is also what you make of it. You can pull yourself out of this and you'll be that much stronger when you finally do. It won't happen over night but like others have said, you can change things. You are already on your way, getting perspective and climb out of your pit is where it starts. Just keep at it and look for the bright things in your life, things that make you happy and what you want out of life. Make some goals and aim for them.