my love life..

[Satans Glory]

honestly...i hope i can be taken seriously via this way...but here goes.

I'm rly getting depressed because i can't find a better girl then my ex...i mean i don't rly care if its online or offline aslong i can make a strong relationship
and i'm not meeting any girls my age which is just adding up my depression and i'm sick and tired of ending the day with no-one on msn and me just being alone with my thoughts....i just kinda wanna be loved now if thats even possible

..sorry

 

[DayvanCowboy]

Your in a position that many of us including myself are in. Please be careful. Especially with you being depressed. You may think things will just be good if you meet someone right away, but it is going to be so much harder than you think. Try not to wrap yourself up with the feelings you have at the moment. There has to be one or two things around you to take your mind off of things. I just hope you can gain just a little confidence and hope within yourself so when someone does come along you can just have a good time instead of giving them the vibe that you are desperate or needy.

Really question yourself if you are ready to jump into something with someone. There are some ways, especially on the net to go and meet people. This place might be one of them in the future. Hopefully you don't have the experience I have had. If you do, you will end up more sad and lonelier than you were before you met someone. Fix yourself up a bit and try not to think of wanting someone so much. You are just torturing yourself.

 

[Satans Glory]

thanks for your words dayvan, i honestly thought no-one would post lol but i have my reasons for that lol

anyway, i'm trying to chat to ppl on msn and play my games that i never got round to finishing and stuff but...every now and again i'll be out of ppl to talk to due to them being in bed for instant or me unmotivated to play like now...and then i start reflecting and my cycle of depression starts

and if i honestly think about it...i feel ready to start a new relationship with someone and stuff but i'm trying to build my confidence..i recently did my CSLA qualification (coaching qualification) so i feel a little more confident after doing it...but i just miss the pro's to being in a relationship...and i can't talk to my friends because they think it's stupid and full of BS...but they've never even been kissed and it suuuuuucks

also i'm sorry to hear about what happened to you didn't mean to make you re-think about bad past experiences

 

[DayvanCowboy]

You ending up not having anything to do and letting the thoughts just come at you is completely normal. I like to think of those times as a moment to fight them. Especially when you are doing your best to be in comfort with them and not let anything you think of really get to you so that you don't end up moping for the entire day.

Anyone in your position would miss and want someone. Its just really good to hear you being active and gaining confidence. You doing that will take you a longer way with a potential s/o, than being someone that is always letting the past work you up to corner yourself at home.

I was never able to talk to my friends about these feelings, but you want to know why? I know they would not give me any good advice. Just like how you mention how inexperienced your friends are when it comes to relationships. My friends were the same. It would just be a waste of time because they would not know what to say and just treat it as a joke 100% of the time.

You don't need to apologize about anything. I am completely fine with what happened to myself now.

 

[EveWasFramed]

have you ever considered trying to be happy with who you are and not define your happiness by the person that you want to be with? I won't insult you by saying that you wouldn't be happier with a partner, but you can find ways to be happy with yourself first. You can't go into a relationship, expecting the other person to make you happy. I guess what I'm trying to say, is make a life for yourself that you will be, if not happy, then at least comfortable in before you start seeing a partner as your saving grace. I REALLY wish you all the best. ((hug))

 

[Oceanmist23]

make a life for yourself that you will be, if not happy, then at least comfortable in before you start seeing a partner as your saving grace.

This ^
To be honest and real, I do think it's easier to truly understand the above statement when you get a bit older and "wiser".
I know that may sound like bullshit and I also know how crappy it can feel to be told that, so I'm sorry.
My sister has told me that several times since I was 18, and no I didn't like hearing it at all. She has enough relationship experience to know what she's talking about though. The last time she told me that was just over a month ago, after I broke up with my ex. Even though I've dived straight into another relationship (an online one) I only now think I fully understand the importance of that statement. After the breakup I felt incredibly free to do whatever I want, to do something for myself, to get out of the honeysuckle hole of a hicktown that I live in and move to a better place where I can actually get a job and have a life.
The fact that my new boyfriend won't be able to move here for quite some time is in a way a good thing, even though I'm not thrilled about it. It will give me precious time to do things for myself that I should've done years ago.

Took me 6 years to understand the importance of Eve's statement... I hope you won't be as slow as me to grasp it hehe.
I agree with everything that Dayvan said as well, he too knows what he's talking about.

Having a partner can be an enormous happiness boost, I know that too well. However, try to think of all the good that's gonna come out of you being at least comfortable with your own life before you get into a relationship. It will make you appreciate the relationship on a whole new level, and so will your future girlfriend.

Remember that going into a relationship does not automatically mean it will bring you happiness. It might at first, but there is no guarantee it will last. That goes for every relationship in the world. No matter how happy one is in a relationship and how much one is in love, there are no guarantees. That's why it's important to be comfortable/happy with yourself and your own life before you get into a relationship, because it increases the chance of it working out, and if it doesn't it shouldn't set you into depression.

Well-functioning Hollywood-style relationships where one "rescues" the other are rare.

Wish you all the best =) *Hugs*

 

[Steel]

I agree with what people have said on this thread.

A relationship is something to share with the right girl, not any girl.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Go for older women dude....

A woman in her late 20's or ealry 30's.....
I garantee ya...she'll blow your mind and be your saving grace in more ways than one...All de time

 

[Satans Glory]

i am trying to make my life better its just im finding that abit harder then most ppl are @_@ i know i suck

@ crow, i don't mind the age age really...but it seems the women do

 

[Oceanmist23]

i am trying to make my life better its just im finding that abit harder then most ppl are @_@ i know i suck

@ crow, i don't mind the age age really...but it seems the women do

You don't suck. Loads of people find it very hard to make their lives better.
Some people get stuck in a situation and struggle to get out of it for various reasons. I was stuck for a long time.
You'll get there though. I believe in you.

*Hugs*

 

[Naleena]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((SatansGlory)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Van Hooligan X]

(((SG)))

hang in there bud

 

[Unacceptance]

I never really understand why girls my age are all married with three kids and stuff.

 

[Lost in the Oilfield]

honestly...i hope i can be taken seriously via this way...but here goes.

I'm rly getting depressed because i can't find a better girl then my ex...i mean i don't rly care if its online or offline aslong i can make a strong relationship
and i'm not meeting any girls my age which is just adding up my depression and i'm sick and tired of ending the day with no-one on msn and me just being alone with my thoughts....i just kinda wanna be loved now if thats even possible

..sorry

No need to be sorry... I'm sure many can relate. I find the depression of being single comes in waves, more often than not is worsened by some sort of trigger, and always goes away with time.

As hard as it may seem, you just need to not dwell on those thoughts... work or play, be with friends or just people (being with others, even strangers, helps takes your mind off those thoughts). Do something distracting... in my experience, sitting around on a computer is more effective at cluttering, than clearing your thoughts.

And always remember: You don't suck, you're depression sucks for trying to make you think you suck. Agreeing with your depressed thoughts just empowers them... get angry at your depression, get even by proving your depressed thoughts wrong.

 

[EveWasFramed]

And always remember: You don't suck, you're depression sucks for trying to make you think you suck.

omg lmao....this will be my new mantra. Nice, LITO.

 

[Vanish]

Im in the same position.

I feel your pain lol