My Real Deal

[Veruca]

I am so sorry that this happened to you LF. But I am glad you were able to vent it out. Ive known you for awhile now and you're one person who never complains despite going through some harrowing times. You have always been an inspiration of strength and positivity to me.

Everyone has a limit to how much they can take and at some point we have to vent it out. I think its unfair for people to judge your intentions or give their opinions on the possible results. Too many people in the world share their opinions freely without considering whether or not it may be beneficial to the other person.

That said, I think even the bluntest of comments here has been in an effort to help. It could have been said more politely...and before anyone disagrees, I just mean that it doesnt take much effort or do any harm to us to rephrase our words. But I think the intentions were meant well.

Lady, your constant presence in the forum is a source of comfort and permanence to so many of us who dont have that in our daily lives. Its not something we take for granted. In fact, i think your venting out was almost a reminder tl the rest of us that just because youre here for us when we need you it doesnt mean you have a peachy life. I hope people will know now how much it takes for you to even come here when you lead a challenging life.

I know youre good at not getting affected by haters but this time it is different. Its normal to feel betrayed by someone you trusted and it is important fo vent it out. I wish it hadnt happened to you. I dont know who this person is, but based on this thread, if you feel youve misunderstood LF, I hope you will try to make amends. Its better to do that than lose a good friend. And I know LF to be an excellent one.

Hugs to you LF. I hope its given you some relief to take it out here (which is I guess partly the poi t of the forum). And that with this knowledge of your life situation, that people will appreciate you more.

 

[HoodedMonk]

(hugs) I am not sure what to say. I am sorry this is happening though. I sense telling you to grow a thicker skin is not helpful, and nor is it the advice I would give to you, as it doesn't seem to fit the situation. I understand the constant wearing down emotionally that your cancer is taking on you right now. You don't have much energy left over for anything else, all your energy goes into fighting the cancer. So, something like people being unkind to you on the forum can really be detrimental when you have little to no energy or emotional resilience leftover to deal with it.

Not only are you dealing with the disease itself, but also the sense of loss and grief associated with losing things due to the cancer (your able bodiedness and your job). Plus stress on top of that in the form of debt.

I'm sorry that it has come to you having to post a defense of yourself. I wish those that you considered your friends would be more understanding of what you are going through and how it affects you.

..take a page out of LF's book and practice kindness everyone…

I hope that despite this, ALL can still be a place of comfort and solace for you. That is my hope for you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Thanks everyone, I read all your responses and appreciate every word. I honestly didn't expect to hear from so many of you. This is why I find comfort here at times because you guys are awesome.

I've felt much better ever since I wrote the original post. I know I made the right choice in doing that, cos it really helps when you can just let it all out. From here on, nothing any of those people say or do will have any impact on me. I've made my statement, said my piece. I know that if they continue to do what they were doing, then the joke's on them cos I'm moving on from this.

 

[Oldyoung]

There will always be people who don't get along. If you are involved in such a conflict, you either stay or you leave, by your own choice or you are forced. If you leave, your opponents benefit, but others who get along with you suffer. There's always a balance there, and it depends on the nature of the community as well as your own personality.

As for me, I hope you'll stick around. And even if you take up a lot of space on this forum (simply put, your presence is very visible), you're not the kind of person who's unaware of that. If I know you right, you worry about taking too much space all the time.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Oh Lady. I had no idea any of that was going on. I'm really sorry to hear that's been happening, and also surprised that you of all people would have "haters" when you try to be so nice and helpful to everyone, especially when you are dealing with your situation. I'm also surprised to see what you have been accused of....anyone who has seen your posts for a while should know by now that all of those things aren't even close to being true and that you are not so shallow as to think that you see ALL as some kind of popularity contest. I knew that, and how you really feel, because you have made posts indicating all of that for some time now.

And for all of us that do like you, even if you don't have an "army" of followers, you have earned each and every one of your friends by being someone who really makes this place better for being here. Sometimes, when most everyone is feeling down and out, there you are to turn the tide with one of your helpful, uplifting, encouraging, kind, and friendly posts. You've been there for me many times. If you suddenly stopped, your absence would be noticed, and you would be dearly missed.

So don't you go leaving on us, OK?

((hugs))

 

[gabriel20]

LadyF, I am going to share something with everyone on here, something we spoke of in messages,something to show the people who have upset you,and think you do not care,or for whatever reason,that you are needed on here,that people know and respect you,and what you do on here.
You and I messaged when I came back after a time away for my condition.
One of those messages I am posting here,with name/s omitted.

*removed* Publicly posting PRIVATE PM's on the forum is NOT allowed. You DO NOT post messages WITHOUT the expressed permission of everyone involved.


People see thing's,as already said,on the surface. In the forum,in post's and thread's. But there is always things going on behind the scenes, things people don't see,things they are not aware of or know anything about.
There are two World's to the ALL site,the part everybody can see,and the hidden part,behind the scenes in PMs.
You,LadyF, are there in both.
I hope I haven't stepped out of line by posting that message,or embarrassed you by doing so.
I wanted to show the person, or person's, who have known you for many year's, and now,for whatever reason,turn against you, that you do have friends on here,people who have respect for what you do.

 

[PenDragon]

PD speaks, I hope I do not make another mess here too. I'm making lots of mess everywhere I step on lately so I'm speaking less these days and people wonder what is happening with PD, why he is silent suddenly. Anyway. Ahem...

You're the first person I talked when I came here first time, Well I have few more now but your place is fixed and no, you can't make me change my mind. Many people here have helped me through my hard times but none were there when I needed most, It was you, yes, You. I have paid attention to everyone here but you to the most, I have seen you Milady from those time to now and you have told me that too. People are unique in their own way, you are too but with a twist. You may remember what I had told you earlier about that, your uniqueness. Misunderstanding happens everywhere, in friendship as well but we try to understand things with them like you had told me earlier and that's why I don't block anyone from reaching me, I have learned that from you. So yeah, I might want to say many things but I can't say or it will turn into another mess so I'll keep it simple as much as possible.

Like I have told you before, this place need someone, a strong pillar, someone like you to hold when sometimes things go too heated and I have seen you handle this very well than rest of us. I don't know much what is happening in PM world but listening your post suggest some serious issue. I won't advice anything cause it's the other way around, I need advice from you many times, but still I'm gonna give one. Just continue doing what you're doing.

P.S. : You remember that promise, the old one, try it see what happens

 

[Sci-Fi]

As a reminder, which no one should need but obviously needs to be done, posting PRIVATE PM's is NOT allowed, no matter the subject. There is even a thread for it with a clear heading.

http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=8920

People doing so are subject to a temporary ban for doing so. This is something that is very clear here and always has been. You especially do not post anything without permission of people involved, even then it may get removed. PM's are here for a reason, they are private between people and NOT to be shared publicly on the forum.

 

[Arachne]

Thanks everyone, I read all your responses and appreciate every word. I honestly didn't expect to hear from so many of you. This is why I find comfort here at times because you guys are awesome.

I've felt much better ever since I wrote the original post. I know I made the right choice in doing that, cos it really helps when you can just let it all out. From here on, nothing any of those people say or do will have any impact on me. I've made my statement, said my piece. I know that if they continue to do what they were doing, then the joke's on them cos I'm moving on from this.

Just for you dear one..

Bless this Day
May this day be blessed with gifts
Lessons, understanding and friends
May my energy be a gift to all I meet
Let me be centered, healing and open
May I face the day with courage
kindness, insight and compassion
May my spirit and body, honor this day


You are a strong lady this I know, Bright Blessings

 

[ladyforsaken]

Whoa.

I'm not leaving, not going anywhere. I'll still do what I do on here as long as I can. Thanks for all your reassurances. Your kind words are much appreciated.

And thanks, Sci.