Hi guys. I'm new to the forum and found this site by desperately typing "loneliness" into google. This might be a long post, but I'll try to be as concise as possible in describing what brought me here.
Almost 2.5 years ago, I left my family and small group of longtime close friends in California behind for a job in Northern Delaware. Yep, Delaware. Having grown up as an East-Indian-American in West Los Angeles, a rather diverse and liberal part of the country, living here has been nothing but a constant case of culture shock. I now live in a city of ignorant, racist hicks that I never imagined could have really existed and have nothing to show for myself in terms of a social life. People look at me like I'm a terrorist and I haven't met any girls that I've clicked with. Moving back home now would be pointless. I would be giving up a great job and a house that I couldn't afford in LA. Furthermore, most of my friends in LA have since gotten married and are getting on with their lives. I know that my earlier statement was a gross generalization about people in Delaware and that there are open-minded people in the right places. It's just that all of my personal experiences thus far with the locals have been negative. For example, I used to shoot pool after work at this one place and don't anymore after some drunken ******* demanded that I show him my "green card". I've often found myself trying to squeeze into circles that I would never associate with if I wasn't so lonely. I have seriously begun to believe that I'll never have friends again, nor will I ever meet someone. I used to love fridays, but I now hate them because my weekends are spent in unwanted solitude with the blinds drawn, terrified of the outside world. Although I tell my parents that everything's ok, they can hear it in my voice that it's not. Although I am college educated, (chemistry degree from UCLA), decent-looking and personable, the xenophobia I have experienced here has caused me to pick my self apart in a way I've never done before. I've lost my confidence in public and constantly feel that people are judging me as "another one of those dark Indian guys". People don't see me as an American here and I get comments like, "Wow! You speak really good english".
I know that I've made a bad decision by moving here and can only hope that things will improve. Thanks for listening.
Almost 2.5 years ago, I left my family and small group of longtime close friends in California behind for a job in Northern Delaware. Yep, Delaware. Having grown up as an East-Indian-American in West Los Angeles, a rather diverse and liberal part of the country, living here has been nothing but a constant case of culture shock. I now live in a city of ignorant, racist hicks that I never imagined could have really existed and have nothing to show for myself in terms of a social life. People look at me like I'm a terrorist and I haven't met any girls that I've clicked with. Moving back home now would be pointless. I would be giving up a great job and a house that I couldn't afford in LA. Furthermore, most of my friends in LA have since gotten married and are getting on with their lives. I know that my earlier statement was a gross generalization about people in Delaware and that there are open-minded people in the right places. It's just that all of my personal experiences thus far with the locals have been negative. For example, I used to shoot pool after work at this one place and don't anymore after some drunken ******* demanded that I show him my "green card". I've often found myself trying to squeeze into circles that I would never associate with if I wasn't so lonely. I have seriously begun to believe that I'll never have friends again, nor will I ever meet someone. I used to love fridays, but I now hate them because my weekends are spent in unwanted solitude with the blinds drawn, terrified of the outside world. Although I tell my parents that everything's ok, they can hear it in my voice that it's not. Although I am college educated, (chemistry degree from UCLA), decent-looking and personable, the xenophobia I have experienced here has caused me to pick my self apart in a way I've never done before. I've lost my confidence in public and constantly feel that people are judging me as "another one of those dark Indian guys". People don't see me as an American here and I get comments like, "Wow! You speak really good english".
I know that I've made a bad decision by moving here and can only hope that things will improve. Thanks for listening.
Well it sounds like you just ignore those idiots which I think is a good thing to do. You also look like the better man in that situation if you do that.
