I agree with the points everyone else has made. Start slowly, talk about general and simple topics like the weather. If the conversation stops or is awkward, you will at least have made the attempt and that's a good first step.
I sort of enjoy watching people interact even though I try to keep out of things myself for the most part. And I ask people what they do to engage others. Even when I have been with groups of friends, I tend to watch how they interact with each other, and how those in my vast extended family interact. There are small things you can gain just from observation. People who are good at talking to others tend to concentrate on talking about and taking a genuine interest in the other person. They always ask questions and remain focused on the other person and attentive, so the person they're talking to knows they have their complete attention and respect. That's where not looking at or playing with your phone comes in I suppose. Or looking in to the distance or fidgeting or seeming distracted. Body language, leaning in, not appearing closed off by crossing your arms and legs, always remembering and using the other person's name often even if you've only just met them, courtesy, consideration and always, always appearing confident in yourself, whatever you may feel on the inside. Adopting confidence is something many have told me they do, even if they aren't feeling up to it. I have social anxiety which makes things quite unpleasant for me sometimes when in groups or crowds, or presenting seminars and such when all attention is directed towards me, but I have occasionally forced myself into the mindset of confidence just to be able to cope, and had it work reasonably well.
Those are just general things. People generally respect those who respect and are kind to them, and who show that. They respond to kindness, and showing an interest in others is a form of it. And compliment people. Not false compliments. Genuine ones. Listen carefully to what they have to say, see the good in them and in what they say and then tell them so. Positive enforcement is always encouraging.
If you're in a crowd, scan and see if there are people who may not be talking and contributing as much and try to strike up a conversation with them. Once you're swept up in the group and the circle has opened to you, it will get much easier since you can just politely offer an opinion on whatever views are being expressed.
As for facial expressions- smile often, as other people have said. Even if you're shy, smiling opens a lot of doors, even if it's just for exchanging pleasantries. 'Resting b*tch face' is something I used try to do on purpose around strangers, just out of fear and anxiety =P. It's somewhat better now.
Good luck and hopefully your anxiety and shyness will improve.
I sort of enjoy watching people interact even though I try to keep out of things myself for the most part. And I ask people what they do to engage others. Even when I have been with groups of friends, I tend to watch how they interact with each other, and how those in my vast extended family interact. There are small things you can gain just from observation. People who are good at talking to others tend to concentrate on talking about and taking a genuine interest in the other person. They always ask questions and remain focused on the other person and attentive, so the person they're talking to knows they have their complete attention and respect. That's where not looking at or playing with your phone comes in I suppose. Or looking in to the distance or fidgeting or seeming distracted. Body language, leaning in, not appearing closed off by crossing your arms and legs, always remembering and using the other person's name often even if you've only just met them, courtesy, consideration and always, always appearing confident in yourself, whatever you may feel on the inside. Adopting confidence is something many have told me they do, even if they aren't feeling up to it. I have social anxiety which makes things quite unpleasant for me sometimes when in groups or crowds, or presenting seminars and such when all attention is directed towards me, but I have occasionally forced myself into the mindset of confidence just to be able to cope, and had it work reasonably well.
Those are just general things. People generally respect those who respect and are kind to them, and who show that. They respond to kindness, and showing an interest in others is a form of it. And compliment people. Not false compliments. Genuine ones. Listen carefully to what they have to say, see the good in them and in what they say and then tell them so. Positive enforcement is always encouraging.
If you're in a crowd, scan and see if there are people who may not be talking and contributing as much and try to strike up a conversation with them. Once you're swept up in the group and the circle has opened to you, it will get much easier since you can just politely offer an opinion on whatever views are being expressed.
As for facial expressions- smile often, as other people have said. Even if you're shy, smiling opens a lot of doors, even if it's just for exchanging pleasantries. 'Resting b*tch face' is something I used try to do on purpose around strangers, just out of fear and anxiety =P. It's somewhat better now.
Good luck and hopefully your anxiety and shyness will improve.
