Need job/career help/advice, becoming desperate

[Emmy]

I've made a thread similar to this but it got 1 reply i think.
Situation hasn't changed so i gonna re-ask & see if anybody out their has any suggestions?

I've had a very depressive day today because Job Centre told me i have to go onto an agency on the 13th & they'll put me into work whether i like it or not.. no proper choices or options for the role & if i refuse they'll cut my money.

Have to find work thats not just any job because i become dangerous & erratic when i'm desperate & unhappy. Had 4 jobs & quit all 4 times on the premis that those positions made me wanna die, so i'm pleading, they're must be at least 1 job on the face of this entire Earth that is considered good/fun/enjoyable

So far, i've been an Admin Assistant, Shop Assistant, Factory Packer & Retail Assistant.
Quit all 4.

Must be a job i'd like.

Anything? When i say good/fun/enjoyable i mean things that aren't depressive.. my last jobs have involved working in a office with upper class ignorant pricks; a factory with hundreds of people from which i don't even know their language let alone name, twice in shop related roles which was no good for me because i'm crap at maths & computers so till work isn't ideal & i'm not very good with people & tend to avoid people's eyes & am not the best type of conversationalist.

So, i dunno, anything, anything at all?

I refuse to do anything that's gonna make me feel like i did before, if comes down to them forcing a position on me on the 13th then i'll just kill myself, in a bid to avoid that, i'm asking if anyone has any suggestions at all for any job that's enjoyable.

Have you ever liked your job?Or a job you've had? A friend/family member you know like/liked their job(s)? Must be 1, surely.

Thanks

 

[Brian]

Are you qualified to do anything in particular?

It's like this, hun. Most fun and worthwhile jobs require some sort of licensure, certification, or other earned credentials; some have a testing process on top of that (especially in the public service sector) to determine eligibility. But until you have said credentials, you have to do like the rest of us and either:

A. Have mom and dad pay for your education or get student loans to do so
B. Work a shitty job and use the money to pay for training/education
C. Enlist in the military and have them pay for your college (in the US, anyway).

Not everything requires a 4 year degree; some of the better jobs nowadays are 2 year programs or less.


I'm a part-time EMT (I work on an ambulance) trying to get in to the fire service. But before I actually got in to emergency services, 2 years younger than you are now (your profile says you're 20, I was 18), I went to work clearing brush, because we have to pull our own weight in this world unless we want to cheat the welfare system and be a general pile of honeysuckle in the process.

For just over two years I performed intense physical labour outdoors in all types of weather. Terrain varied from flat and easy to barely climbable and heavily wooded, where I had to drag heavy piles of brush and tree limbs (sometimes entire trees) up hill to a chipper. I wore earplugs all day every day. I had to run from bees more times than I care to count. I almost died on multiple occasions from spinning brush cutter blades, falling trees, and big thick tree branches nearly taking my arm off from above. For the most part, I can't say I cared for my co-workers. They weren't the brightest, and I was definitely tired of them by the time the weekend came. Because the crew and the business itself barely scraped by, we didn't have benefits and we didn't have any official vacation time. I don't recall being off longer than a few days at a time unless I was deathly ill. There was a period in winter when we'd be laid off, which sucked even more because I'd have to collect unemployment and try not to draw from savings. What we prayed for was a heavy, murderous snow season, because we'd get to shovel snow off of roofs. That was $20 an hour for us year-rounders ($8 more than our usual $12 wage), working 10-16 hours a day. Boss would go for 24 hour stretches. Even still, I won't lie. As a manual labor job, I liked it. It paid better than Burger King and I was actually proud of what we did because we were the ******* best at what we did. I would go back in a heartbeat if I had nothing else. I always put forth my best, and because of it the boss gave me additional responsibilities that increased my paycheck. Some weeks that extra dough was the difference between barely making rent and having something to put in savings (PRO TIP: ALWAYS pay yourself from EVERY check. This is the only way you will ever have anything.)

My goal in all of that was to make enough to support myself and eventually pay for college; my end goal is/was to get in to emergency services, my dream since 16. I earned/fought my way out of the woods and got on with a fire department for a year...they laid us all off (small department, small budget, economy troubles) and now I work part time on the county ambulance where I'm well-liked so far and very proud of my position...though it is not unusual to be puked on, bled on, or immersed in mixtures of bodily substances and foul odors of which I will spare you the gory details.


The only advice I can give you:

1. Decide on your dream, or at least a worthwhile goal.
2. Suck it up and don't complain, you're not different from the rest of us. Never forget the product of Step #1. It will get you through the miserable honeysuckle of day to day working life and remind you of why you are really there.
3. Always put forth your best effort and present yourself well, even at your shitty bottom feeder job. It will pay off not only in the short term, but will build good habits for when you get to where you want to be.
4. Whenever you think you have it bad, imagine where you could be:

-Sweating your way up a nasty hillside in the pouring rain for Endless Hour #7 with several small saplings pulled behind you
-Mooching off the welfare system and playing victim (unless you have some genuine disability)
-Homeless in the pouring rain for Endless Hour #1,274 of your ceaselessly miserable life wishing you had a Shitty Job so you could eat



Seriously. Put things in perspective, here. You have it pretty good. Saying you want to kill yourself, unless you were being sarcastic or facetious, is drama fit for a teenager being told to vacuum the living room. Stop quitting jobs; it looks terrible when the Good Job comes along. If I had quit my brush job because I 'didnt like it', the Fire Dept. AND the Ambulance would have laughed me out of the interview. Same goes for any other employer, and rightfully so. Things aren't always candy apples and rainbows. If YOU were an employer, and some kid came to you (yes, you and I are still kids) with nothing but a shitty work history and an even shittier excuse, would you hire them? Find somewhere tolerable (I'd take Admin Assistant over factory packer...I worked in a lumbermill once and I quit that for the brush job) and stay there as long as you can. Hell, try to climb the ladder. Believe it or not, things used to work that way in a lot of workplaces, when not every 22-year-old mouth breather had a Bachelor's Degree (and frankly, I think places functioned better for it).

If people could just walk in to fun, engaging jobs, everyone would do it.


Also, it sounds like you have trouble taking pride in what you are doing and are only able to concentrate on the bad. I highly recommend that you read Viktor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning, or at least click that link and read what it's about. Basically this man was stuck in a Nazi concentration camp, but still made the best of his experience. Obviously you and I aren't stuck in concentration camps. But the principles can still help us appreciate thinning out three acres of underbrush or whatever it is an Admin Assistant does.

I hope this helps, though I'll admit I was a bit blunt. But that's the best way to get the point across and whole-wheat bread is healthiest without butter If I can answer anything else, let me know.

 

[Emmy]

Thanks very much =)
Was a very detailed & helpful post

Couldn't work out how to quote & write after bits, can only quote in a big chunk so forgive me if this post looks disjointed ^^

I'm not qualified for anything specifically, i'm not sure, i did GCSE's & A Levels but i quit the A Level & left with 5 AS's after 1 year cos made me unhappy.
Haven't anything special, have always been indecisive so never set my sights on pursuing one route incase i wound up not liking it. I did check out tons of prospectus' but i don't have a dream or passion i wanna pursue & never singled out any course, too disinterested but yeah i guess i just assumed was happy jobs out there that i could float around between.

I'm not sure about college, it'd most likely be 2 at college & a further 3-7 at university. I don't have any interests to tide me over that length of time & haven't the money.
Don't have any family members so the funds would come from me, well i have a mum but is complicated. Could work the shitty job in order to fund education but again, i not got any pursuits & i know i wouldn't stick to the job for a long time. I'm a big quitter, if something depresses me i quit & same goes for jobs & knows a bad impression on me is just i don't wanna be unhappy. Rather be poor than be unhappy.
Military wouldn't work, am not very tough, bit soppy & silly

Idea of the 2 year course sounds ok but dunno what i'd do it in or if i'd see it through & then if i did that means a career & i dunno i'd see that through either.
Not good personality reflection. Just am trying find happier jobs so don't have be miserable.

EMT & fire service that's some pretty decent employment
I remember looking at fire service ages ago but was put off cos i wear contact lenses & think made me ineligible, plus i'm a chicken so i'd be no good under the pressure.
But i get the point, you did the hard work to get the rewards at the end.
Tree thing does sound like a total nightmare.

You said focusing on your dream & goal helps get through the day (not in the exact words but ya know what i mean) & that's true, guess need to decide on a dream. But, that's sorta forced, can't force a dream onto yourself, whats the motivation to get through if your devoid of ambition?

Heh, i knows i not different from anyone else, i didn't mean be rude or sound bad. I just asking if is any happier jobs cos have been persistently unhappy in my previous ones ^^

On the perspective thing, i dunno. I would disagree & say i don't have it good. Haven't anyone who loves me & am without friends or family & am poor, without drive & suicidal over the fact i've been abandoned now 2 years strong, i wouldn't say i have it good. If this is having it good then i have zero intention of even bothering with this whole idea of betterment.
Don't mix me with the same brush as "a teenager being told to vacuum the living room" it's pretty insensitive, would love to have someone in the house asking me to do that but i'm alone, my problems aren't some spoiled bratty kid moaning cos everything isn't sunshine & lollypops.
Am unhappy in previous jobs, looking for something happier.

Yeah reputation for running away from a challenge doesn't make me look appealing, your right there.
I wouldn't hire me.
But i know if i was unhappy i'd still quit, i lack determination massively, lack pretty much every attribute an employer looks for.

I dunno what to do. Train for a course or something in a line i'm not interested in to pursue a non-existent goal or continue working positions which make me so unhappy.
Both seem like honeysuckle options, i dunno. Just seems like everything is a bag of honeysuckle unless you have a path to follow.

I'll check out that link
Can't promise i'll read the book, books are so huge i dunno how any writer expects keep ya concentration for 300 pages, i'll check the link though ^^

Yeah, i'm a pessimist, when i adopt a credible trait i'll let you know

Thanks very much for a fab reply ^^

 

[Brian]

Well, consider this.

When you're 60 or 70, do you still want to be working?

That's part of my motive to work. When I'm old, I want to be able to stop and say, "I've made enough for myself that I can quit and go do something fun now." Working a job here and there, you really don't get that (though it sounds like you're from the UK or somewhere else in Europe? Maybe you have some sort of decent retirement system there). But at the same time, I don't look at EMS as my final stop. When I'm done with this, unless I'm somewhere with advancement potential or I'm in a fire dept. again where I can promote to officer, I've really considered the idea of going to work in a hospital cath lab. Not as a doc or anything, but as a technician at least. I at least want 5-10 years out of emergency services...5 years is the minimum for the state retirement

Aside from finding pride in performance, upward mobility is important to last for a while in a given field. If you have room to promote upward, your responsibilities will change over time a bit. Also, I dunno about where you are, but I wear contacts too and that hasn't disqualified me yet. Some departments won't take me due to the extent of my vision deterioration, but a lot still will. And the rules governing contact use are changing because new contacts (gas permeable soft lenses) can be worn overnight and don't fall out as easily due to dryness, which were the two major issues for the fire service regarding hard lenses which set the rule. And I used to be the wussiest, most scared kid ever, by the way Training and reliable teammates change that.

Do you have anything you do for fun? Knowing I can take off for the weekend on my mountain bike or go fishing for the evening has gotten me through a lot, and physical activity really does do wonders for overall motivation. It sounds to me like you lack any flair or colour in your life...you might need to fix that to bring yourself out of the hole. Just try new things. I picked cycling up totally at random. I just said to myself, "You know, I don't do a **** thing for fun except go fishing for the day every month or so. What looks fun? Hmm, let's go buy a mountain bike." And it's a blast; lets me forget things. I come back refreshed, every time, and feel like I can tackle anything. Even with an awesome job that you love, you need a release, no matter what. This is especially true for city dwellers.

Look through a college program catalog, or just read about different jobs. Be curious! Just by doing that I've found all kinds of things that interest me. Cardiography, Biology, Fire/EMS, Wildland Fire, Railroad work, merchant marine...the problem ultimately is nailing one down. Truthfully, I worry all the time if I'm making the right decision. But you have to make one regardless. Should I keep working and try to advance where I am, and stick around with my volunteer dept. hoping for a paid position? Should I move in to residency with this other department closer to college and hope for a paid spot there? Am I making a mistake going through fire science before medic school? Should I try to go to work for this other ambulance company? Am I meant to be in this industry at all?

But we figure it out as we go along. I'm working here because I like it, staying with my volunteer dept. at least until the next few months because we're applying for a payroll grant. And I'll keep testing for other departments. I'll find my spot. And if nothing else, we always have those other things we're interested in as options.

I didn't mean to play down your situation. Just sayin', opportunity-wise, you probably have some good options if you look. I'll tell you though it's difficult to finance sometimes. But the ends definitely justify the means.

At the very least try to stay somewhere for a couple years at a time, and have something else to go on to before quitting whatever your current job is. That's a lot better than holes in your employment history.

 

[Emmy]

Thanks again for fab reply

Dunno, i guess we're just too different, you seem be interested in loads of things & lots of different things going for you.
I guess is sorta easier to suggest College or working odd jobs to avoid working when am elderly, but am passionate about nothing & have no interests, i looked at prospectus' & was disinterested. Looked at every thing under the sun & either found fault or briefly tried it & it didn't work out.

I was good at PE at school & though it meant i liked it so i went to college on the monday for it as a 2 year course & quit on the wednesday because i had a bad day & didn't like the course anyway.
So, i went back to school & did my A Levels but quit after 1 year of the 2 year course cos was also unhappy there.
I choose English Lit & Language, History, Sociology, General Studies & Applied ICT (Business) & was very very unhappy in all of those.

So left that & started a job, quit, started another, quit, another, quit, another, quit. Have no desire to start a 5th unless it's gonna make me happy enough to keep going in everyday.

Your right i lack colour, most exciting thing my day consists of is well, i dunno, excitement isn't in my every day, probably just going to the shop.
Colourless dull empty life.

As on fun, not much but i do like to go on walks & escape my thoughts for a bit. Isn't what you'd call fun but is better than being drunk at 2 in the afternoon watching daytime TV pissed off & upset.
Mountain bike thing sounds fun, i don't ride bikes cos am afraid of the traffic, but walking is the same principal only safer i suppose.

I like to listen to music & sometimes like to paint & sing but am only 'average' at the best in both.
Did used to like Tennis & would do alot of that growing up but doesn't do anything for me nowadays, just feels tedious.
Yeah exercise does pick your mood up, i do exercise pretty regularly & can sometimes make me feel better but won't help when it comes to being at work or whichever.

Yeah the options thing, well available to me would be college either 2 or 3 years. Wouldn't be able to do University until i finish those years & find enough money.
I could of gone directly to University if i finished my 2nd year of A Levels but i didn't.
But that's all hypothetical because is nothing at college that interests me in the slightest let alone for 2-3 years with the potential of furthering that into University for a further 3-7..

I just assumed that the world would have a job out there that i can do & do with a smile on my face, but is pretty apparent i was daydreaming.
I'd still rather have my fate in my own hands & fix it before the 13th, will not allow them put me onto this stupid agency with no choices.
I just don't wanna hurry a decision that ends up being wrong simply because i pushed it through to avoid the agency.

College usually starts around 6-14th september, so i have time to apply for something.
But, i have not got a solitary interest in this world let alone 1 i can foresee doing another 40-50 years.
I know we still young pups & everything, options are there true, but what options do i have when i have no ambition or interest to pursue?

If the main ambition is to do it to avoid working when elderly then that sucks, i'd have no intentions of living 40-50 years being unhappy just so i can have 5-10 years of a happy retirement, the logic is nonsensical.

I dunno what to do, i wish i had interests, wish i had somewhere i could go to. Isn't as though i have ties, i could just runaway, quitting is my middle name as it goes, is just i don't really wanna be forced out the house.
I dunno what to do, options seem to be *be unhappy & live with it* or *be unhappy & live with it*
Sure, is different if you have interests.
Like as you said, you have many different paths you can pursue which is a very good fall back case something changes. But what if you had no interests, the choices aren't there no more.

I guess i answered my own question i suppose, looks increasingly likely that a person either finds their calling in life & does the thing they love, or flat out, they don't find it & spend their life being miserable.
Am a pessimist so is natural i'm bleak about the future but i can't see me developing an interest in a particular field between now & the 13th, if haven't in the 20 years of my life i doubt it's gonna happen.

I guess now it makes sense why most adults are violent drunks. Isn't their fault, is way society is structured, making people work unhappy jobs till they die.
I think i'll just crawl under a rock until something happens.

Thanks again, ^^

 

[jjam]

How about working at a zoo or an aquarium for a bit? I don't know how stable that could be, and I certainly can't imagine entry level positions paying good, but it could be enjoyable.

Man, that was so random! lol!

I just want to say I enjoyed reading your posts, brian. Good stuff!