Need to vent - what is wrong with me?

[Nikki]

My life hasn't been easy or a good one as far as I'm concerned. I had a lot of things happen when I was younger (mid 20's, teenager and younger) that I had no control over. I have no friends and haven't had for a very long time, and the friends I did have then turned out not to be real friends anyway.

I have tried to speak to therapists but I have never been able to tell the full story to them, as they always interrupt and put the blame back on me. I have even tried to tell my sister (who is 12 years older) but she knows some parts, has formed her own opinion and won't listen to the rest. I have so many negative emotions bottled up because I have no one to talk too

Why is it so hard to find someone who will listen? I'm not a bad person but people think I am. Or maybe I am a bad person. I have no idea anymore. I have been happy but that was all taken from me in what I feel was a cruel way and that was a long long time ago.

I did find a friend a little while ago but that fell apart due to my own stupidity and since then, I feel like giving up. After having a friend that I could talk to and seemed to care, I find it harder now to get up each day. I feel the loneliness and hopelessness so much more, knowing what I am missing. I honestly see no point in going on with this charade I call life but I know I will. I'm just not sure how I'm going to get through so many more days like this.

 

[zero]

Hug.
I`m listening.
(*thinking: are you a good listener of yourself?*)

 

[Pete528]

My life hasn't been easy or a good one as far as I'm concerned. I had a lot of things happen when I was younger (mid 20's, teenager and younger) that I had no control over. I have no friends and haven't had for a very long time, and the friends I did have then turned out not to be real friends anyway.

I have tried to speak to therapists but I have never been able to tell the full story to them, as they always interrupt and put the blame back on me. I have even tried to tell my sister (who is 12 years older) but she knows some parts, has formed her own opinion and won't listen to the rest. I have so many negative emotions bottled up because I have no one to talk too

Why is it so hard to find someone who will listen? I'm not a bad person but people think I am. Or maybe I am a bad person. I have no idea anymore. I have been happy but that was all taken from me in what I feel was a cruel way and that was a long long time ago.

I did find a friend a little while ago but that fell apart due to my own stupidity and since then, I feel like giving up. After having a friend that I could talk to and seemed to care, I find it harder now to get up each day. I feel the loneliness and hopelessness so much more, knowing what I am missing. I honestly see no point in going on with this charade I call life but I know I will. I'm just not sure how I'm going to get through so many more days like this.

There is nothing wrong with you and you are not a bad person. The people you have tried to speak to (especially the the therapists) about your issue seem to be like most people I have ever known. They don't seem to understand anything other than their own beliefs so they can't "hear" you. That is why I believe that one cannot understand loneliness without actually going through it.

 

[Retrospective81]

My life hasn't been easy or a good one as far as I'm concerned. I had a lot of things happen when I was younger (mid 20's, teenager and younger) that I had no control over. I have no friends and haven't had for a very long time, and the friends I did have then turned out not to be real friends anyway.

I have tried to speak to therapists but I have never been able to tell the full story to them, as they always interrupt and put the blame back on me. I have even tried to tell my sister (who is 12 years older) but she knows some parts, has formed her own opinion and won't listen to the rest. I have so many negative emotions bottled up because I have no one to talk too

Why is it so hard to find someone who will listen? I'm not a bad person but people think I am. Or maybe I am a bad person. I have no idea anymore. I have been happy but that was all taken from me in what I feel was a cruel way and that was a long long time ago.

I did find a friend a little while ago but that fell apart due to my own stupidity and since then, I feel like giving up. After having a friend that I could talk to and seemed to care, I find it harder now to get up each day. I feel the loneliness and hopelessness so much more, knowing what I am missing. I honestly see no point in going on with this charade I call life but I know I will. I'm just not sure how I'm going to get through so many more days like this.

I can and I am willing to listen to you feel free to PM me. Potential 'listening ear' and friend here!

 

[edamame721]

Hi Nikki, nothing is wrong with you. Sometimes you need to vent and people don't want to hear it. I'm surprised that your therapists aren't are more understanding though -- they are not supposed to make judgments, so you probably had bad ones.

I suggest doing something that will make you happy. Do it alone. Tell yourself, you're not going to let other people stop you from it. I've done it before and it's helped me whenever I feel alone.

 

[Nikki]

Thank you for the responses.

I suggest doing something that will make you happy. Do it alone. Tell yourself, you're not going to let other people stop you from it. I've done it before and it's helped me whenever I feel alone.

Everything I do is alone

 

[Nethic]

Thank you for the responses.

I suggest doing something that will make you happy. Do it alone. Tell yourself, you're not going to let other people stop you from it. I've done it before and it's helped me whenever I feel alone.

Everything I do is alone

If you need someone to talk to, PM me, I'm willing to listen.

Do you keep a journal? Sometimes it helps to put those negative emotions on paper. Getting things out into the real world, and out of the darkness of one's mind is a great way of shedding some light on your thoughts and feelings, and giving them a space to reside.

I find that a lot of my negative thoughts go away once I put them on paper.

Just write your answers to the following two questions: "What are you feeling?", and "why do you think you are feeling it?"

 

[Gutted]

Don't beat yourself up. Enough people out there to do that to you as it is! You have us if you want some new friends. PM me any time!

 

[Camper]

Everything I do is alone

Hah Welcome to the club!
It's the same with me.


It's also the same that I don't have friends to talk to.
It was hurting every day, and at first I didn't know even why.
Though I guess I wanted a girl that gives me support, one that hugs me every morning which will give me motivation. Someone that I can talk to when I'm feeling down. Someone that would care if I disappeared.

Though all I got was people hating me.

There was a time where I was thinking about suicide, though I will never do it, but a world without this feeling, it would be wonderful wouldn't it?

Then I have been trying to "kill" a few emotions. For example killing shyness would be doing a lot of extreme things opposed to it (embarrassing yourself in front of a lot of people). How to not be scared is also just to do extreme things that make you scared a lot, once you have seen something so scary that some little things won't really matter.
The way to stop this hurting was to make myself hurt a lot, and I did. Though it's not enough.

I then said that that's just going to be another plan if a few others failed, if I eliminate it, I wouldn't be able to enjoy some more things.

I guess I came to a point where I'm just having a long time plan to stop this from hurting me. Most of it is where I'm waiting, so while I wait, to ease down the pain I find something that will keep me busy and smiling.

 

[LifeCoachWithL]

Hi, I'm a social worker for 7 years now and starting to transition to a life coach. Life coaching is all about YOU and what you wish to achieve in your life. Your coach reminds you of your strengths, helps you to feel better about yourself and gives you valuable feedback on your thoughts and behaviour to support you in moving forward. The focus is on positive change: stating this is where I am now, what do I want next?

The first step is the wanting to change and then finding someone who can help you and who you can trust.

 

[Nikki]

Hi, I'm a social worker for 7 years now and starting to transition to a life coach. Life coaching is all about YOU and what you wish to achieve in your life. Your coach reminds you of your strengths, helps you to feel better about yourself and gives you valuable feedback on your thoughts and behaviour to support you in moving forward. The focus is on positive change: stating this is where I am now, what do I want next?

The first step is the wanting to change and then finding someone who can help you and who you can trust.

Ummm yes? Just curious, but did you actually read and understand my rant? Or am I missing something here as usual lol?

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hi, I'm a social worker for 7 years now and starting to transition to a life coach. Life coaching is all about YOU and what you wish to achieve in your life. Your coach reminds you of your strengths, helps you to feel better about yourself and gives you valuable feedback on your thoughts and behaviour to support you in moving forward. The focus is on positive change: stating this is where I am now, what do I want next?

The first step is the wanting to change and then finding someone who can help you and who you can trust.

Ummm yes? Just curious, but did you actually read and understand my rant? Or am I missing something here as usual lol?

I doubt he did...we expect to see advertising from him at any moment, lol.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Hi, I'm a social worker for 7 years now and starting to transition to a life coach. Life coaching is all about YOU and what you wish to achieve in your life. Your coach reminds you of your strengths, helps you to feel better about yourself and gives you valuable feedback on your thoughts and behaviour to support you in moving forward. The focus is on positive change: stating this is where I am now, what do I want next?

The first step is the wanting to change and then finding someone who can help you and who you can trust.

Ummm yes? Just curious, but did you actually read and understand my rant? Or am I missing something here as usual lol?

I doubt he did...we expect to see advertising from him at any moment, lol.

somebody on a forum a couple of years told me to talk to a life coach. I looked at the prices, £500 for the initial chat ! Rip off !

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hi, I'm a social worker for 7 years now and starting to transition to a life coach. Life coaching is all about YOU and what you wish to achieve in your life. Your coach reminds you of your strengths, helps you to feel better about yourself and gives you valuable feedback on your thoughts and behaviour to support you in moving forward. The focus is on positive change: stating this is where I am now, what do I want next?

The first step is the wanting to change and then finding someone who can help you and who you can trust.

Ummm yes? Just curious, but did you actually read and understand my rant? Or am I missing something here as usual lol?

I doubt he did...we expect to see advertising from him at any moment, lol.

somebody on a forum a couple of years told me to talk to a life coach. I looked at the prices, £500 for the initial chat ! Rip off !

Im not even saying a life coach is a bad idea (if they are qualified). But how many of us can afford it and also, I feel that guy is just here to peddle his services - I doubt he will be helping anyone for free.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Hello Nikki,
I'm sorry you're life hasn't been easy for you, I've been in similar situations believe it or not. Things happened to me even when I was quite younger that I had no control over and for years I was very bitter towards the world. Having no friends also doesn't help in the long run, it makes you feel alone as if nobody in the world seems to care. I'm sure over time you'll end up meeting people who will be understanding and willing to listen to you. It's a bummer about you're therapist: perhaps you should find a new one if the one currently isn't working out for you. I'm willing on listening, just send me a pm. Good listener, understanding and I'll to help you out the best way that I can.

 

[ichat]

Hi Nikki,

Just to add my voice to the many who already said it before but if you need to have a natter, then I am here. Heck, we can skype and I am here to listen without judgement or prejudice

 

[Gutted]

You know I'm around stilllll!