Cavonnier
Member
I Googled something like "I feel like I don't belong" and I found this forum.
Where to begin? I'm 26-years-old and I've always been an introverted, anachronistic type. I was able to make friends in high school and college (being surrounded by people my age helped), but I've struggled to make connections with people ever since I left my home state (California), in 2008 to start my career. I've been living on the East Coast for four years and have yet to make any true friends.
This didn't bother me until my long-distance relationship recently came to a nasty, bitter end. It's a long story, but basically I had been friends with this girl since 2003 and we became a couple in late in 2009. We would visit with each other about eight times a year. I felt like she was one of the few people who truly understood me; we had similar interests and a similar worldview. We all seek the person who can complete our sentences, and that was her. Unfortunately, she became involved (to put it politely) with somebody closer to her, and as a result I lost not only my girlfriend but also somebody I had considered to be my best friend.
Breakups are always traumatic, so it's no surprise I feel crummy right now. However, this experience has made me acutely aware of how isolated I am. I try talking to people, and I realize how little in common I have with them. Even before the breakup happened, I was losing interest in things I used to care about, like politics or sports. I never did care much for movies, television, or video games. I used to like reading (For those who get the reference, I've been comparing myself to a skinny version of Ignatius Reilly recently. For those who don't know who I'm referring to, let's just say it's not a flattering comparison!), but now I find myself mostly wasting time on the internet. I think the passion I had for my girlfriend masked my declining passion for other things. I'm stuck in a rut, it seems.
I do have a few friends (all holdovers from when I was in school), but the number is small and they are scattered across the country. It sure would be nice to have such a friend who lives near me, but I don't know how to meet such a person. And, frankly, I have a difficult time imagining anybody around here would want to be friends with a reserved and boring dork like myself. I guess it's just difficult to get somebody to love you (if only in a friendly way) when you don't seem to love yourself.
I never thought of myself as someone who had depression, but maybe I do have it. Or maybe I was born into the wrong society or in the wrong era. Who knows. I'm just glad I'm not the only person who feels this way.
Where to begin? I'm 26-years-old and I've always been an introverted, anachronistic type. I was able to make friends in high school and college (being surrounded by people my age helped), but I've struggled to make connections with people ever since I left my home state (California), in 2008 to start my career. I've been living on the East Coast for four years and have yet to make any true friends.
This didn't bother me until my long-distance relationship recently came to a nasty, bitter end. It's a long story, but basically I had been friends with this girl since 2003 and we became a couple in late in 2009. We would visit with each other about eight times a year. I felt like she was one of the few people who truly understood me; we had similar interests and a similar worldview. We all seek the person who can complete our sentences, and that was her. Unfortunately, she became involved (to put it politely) with somebody closer to her, and as a result I lost not only my girlfriend but also somebody I had considered to be my best friend.
Breakups are always traumatic, so it's no surprise I feel crummy right now. However, this experience has made me acutely aware of how isolated I am. I try talking to people, and I realize how little in common I have with them. Even before the breakup happened, I was losing interest in things I used to care about, like politics or sports. I never did care much for movies, television, or video games. I used to like reading (For those who get the reference, I've been comparing myself to a skinny version of Ignatius Reilly recently. For those who don't know who I'm referring to, let's just say it's not a flattering comparison!), but now I find myself mostly wasting time on the internet. I think the passion I had for my girlfriend masked my declining passion for other things. I'm stuck in a rut, it seems.
I do have a few friends (all holdovers from when I was in school), but the number is small and they are scattered across the country. It sure would be nice to have such a friend who lives near me, but I don't know how to meet such a person. And, frankly, I have a difficult time imagining anybody around here would want to be friends with a reserved and boring dork like myself. I guess it's just difficult to get somebody to love you (if only in a friendly way) when you don't seem to love yourself.
I never thought of myself as someone who had depression, but maybe I do have it. Or maybe I was born into the wrong society or in the wrong era. Who knows. I'm just glad I'm not the only person who feels this way.
