Spy
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- Joined
- Jan 14, 2014
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Hi everybody!
I just found this forum a few days ago and I tought it would be a nice place to share what I'm living and learn what others do to cope with a lonely life. So here is my little story.
I'm 42 and I live near Montreal, Canada. I'm single and I have never had any real girlfriend. Just a fuckfriend once for about three months.
When I was young, I was very shy. As a teenager, I was bullied for about four years. After years of this, my physical education teacher told me several times to defend myself and to punch one and that they will stop. I decided to not do anything because I was afraid of being injured.
Then, a few months after that, the teachers had to meet the parents. The physical education teacher told my parents that I was bullied. When they came back at home, my parents asked me if this was the truth. I said yes and I cried. My parents told me then, the same thing that my teacher told me. They told me to defend and fight back.
Now I had the permission of my teacher and my parents. It took about three weeks before I had enough. A guy in my classroom knocked me with a dictionnary on the head and I jumped on him. In a few weeks, I fought six times and I won those six fights.
Today, when I think about this bullying period, the fighting back was the best thing that happened in my life. It was fighting back or dark toughts. I decided to fight back.
After that period, I changed school, decided to enroll in the army cadet and also started karate course. Those two activities helped me a lot. They gave me a more self-confidence, self-esteem and allowed me to meet new people.
In college and university everything was going well but I had absolutely no social life because I was a very shy guy. When somebody or a girl asked me to come to an event I always had excuses.
Then, I started working with the public. I had to do a lot of public speaking with different kind of people (kids, teens, adults, families, tourists, elderlies ...). Public speaking really helped me a lot but at this moment I still had a fear of approaching women I found interesting.
That's why I relied almost everytime on online dating. In the last ten years I must have met around 60 women. I had a few one night and about four years ago I met a young and cute girl of 26 years old. I was 39 then. We started as friend but after a few dates we became intimate. Eventually, I had a crush on her and she warned me several times that we are going to be just fuckfriends.
After three months of seeing each other, she started to date a guy. This is the time when everything collapsed around me. I was crying for months. No energy. No laughing. No passion. Everything was gone. I was thinking of her every day and every hour.
I was also asking her to do some activities even if she was dating somebody else. I was also spying her facebook account every day and began to search who was the guy ...
Well, eventually she broke with her boyfriend and we saw each other three times since then. When she told me that she was single again I tought that this was my second chance. Eventually, she didn't like my behavior. I was very needy and pathetic. No life apart her.
Since we have stopped seeing and writing each other, things are getting better but I'm not able to meet and attract a lady. I always finish in the friend zone.
Feel free to give me your comments, tips ... I have changed a lot in the last four years and I decided that 2014 is the year for change in improving my social life.
Have a good day everyone
I just found this forum a few days ago and I tought it would be a nice place to share what I'm living and learn what others do to cope with a lonely life. So here is my little story.
I'm 42 and I live near Montreal, Canada. I'm single and I have never had any real girlfriend. Just a fuckfriend once for about three months.
When I was young, I was very shy. As a teenager, I was bullied for about four years. After years of this, my physical education teacher told me several times to defend myself and to punch one and that they will stop. I decided to not do anything because I was afraid of being injured.
Then, a few months after that, the teachers had to meet the parents. The physical education teacher told my parents that I was bullied. When they came back at home, my parents asked me if this was the truth. I said yes and I cried. My parents told me then, the same thing that my teacher told me. They told me to defend and fight back.
Now I had the permission of my teacher and my parents. It took about three weeks before I had enough. A guy in my classroom knocked me with a dictionnary on the head and I jumped on him. In a few weeks, I fought six times and I won those six fights.
Today, when I think about this bullying period, the fighting back was the best thing that happened in my life. It was fighting back or dark toughts. I decided to fight back.
After that period, I changed school, decided to enroll in the army cadet and also started karate course. Those two activities helped me a lot. They gave me a more self-confidence, self-esteem and allowed me to meet new people.
In college and university everything was going well but I had absolutely no social life because I was a very shy guy. When somebody or a girl asked me to come to an event I always had excuses.
Then, I started working with the public. I had to do a lot of public speaking with different kind of people (kids, teens, adults, families, tourists, elderlies ...). Public speaking really helped me a lot but at this moment I still had a fear of approaching women I found interesting.
That's why I relied almost everytime on online dating. In the last ten years I must have met around 60 women. I had a few one night and about four years ago I met a young and cute girl of 26 years old. I was 39 then. We started as friend but after a few dates we became intimate. Eventually, I had a crush on her and she warned me several times that we are going to be just fuckfriends.
After three months of seeing each other, she started to date a guy. This is the time when everything collapsed around me. I was crying for months. No energy. No laughing. No passion. Everything was gone. I was thinking of her every day and every hour.
I was also asking her to do some activities even if she was dating somebody else. I was also spying her facebook account every day and began to search who was the guy ...
Well, eventually she broke with her boyfriend and we saw each other three times since then. When she told me that she was single again I tought that this was my second chance. Eventually, she didn't like my behavior. I was very needy and pathetic. No life apart her.
Since we have stopped seeing and writing each other, things are getting better but I'm not able to meet and attract a lady. I always finish in the friend zone.
Feel free to give me your comments, tips ... I have changed a lot in the last four years and I decided that 2014 is the year for change in improving my social life.
Have a good day everyone
