Well, I been attending orientation at college for 2 days now of the 6 days. And quite frankly, it sucks balls, a lot. In high school I felt so **** lonely at times and it's so **** depressing. I knew a few people that I would say hi too and occasionally hang out with, but I always tend to cling to them whenever there around. Felt like my own **** independence was drowning away with my already miserable social skills. In high school I would skip lunch and go from 7:30am to 3:00pm just so I don't have to sit in the lunch room and eat my lunch myself.
Luckily, those miserable and lonely years of high school are finally over, right? So far it seems like everything is going to turn out to be the same, shitty. I always imagine college to be a better environment, after hearing all those rants and praises of friends many people have made. But sadly, it doesn't seem true. Being such a lonely ass person for so long in high school, my social skills are out of wack. But I am making the effort of introducing myself to girls and guys in my orientation group. And it seems out of courtesy they introduce themselves too, but afterwords they ******* ignore me. I've made the initiative to say hi to passerbyers, but not one **** person has made the initiative to say hi to me. It makes me feel like I look like a ******* creeper. When I compare my looks to others around me, I would say I am slightly above average, I'm not emo or goth, I dress normally-- t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. I do have a scar on the area around my eye which may seem intimidating to some, but I saw a person with half of his front lips missing with more friends than me. And sadly, I have never once been to a party.
I am a commuter student by the way, so I don't have a roomate to make a friend out of. I have 4 more days of this orientation that feels like a path leading to yet another shitty social life. I ate my lunch today, in a table by the window, by myself, reading a book while eating, so I didn't look like a total loser. I don't do drugs or drink, so you can probably imagine loneliness without emotional relieve. I just can't break out of my comfort zone when people around me don't even introduce themselves, and my comfort zone is getting smaller and smaller.
To those of you that read this: Thanks for my reading my vent of a lonely life. If reading this made you feel a bit better, great I guess, although its not my intentions. I wrote this as more of a vent that I can't tell the others around me. I am going to join a few clubs and see what happens, hoping for at least a few friends. And please feel free to reply, it would be nice to know I am not alone. Anyone experience the same college experience? Did it get any better?
Luckily, those miserable and lonely years of high school are finally over, right? So far it seems like everything is going to turn out to be the same, shitty. I always imagine college to be a better environment, after hearing all those rants and praises of friends many people have made. But sadly, it doesn't seem true. Being such a lonely ass person for so long in high school, my social skills are out of wack. But I am making the effort of introducing myself to girls and guys in my orientation group. And it seems out of courtesy they introduce themselves too, but afterwords they ******* ignore me. I've made the initiative to say hi to passerbyers, but not one **** person has made the initiative to say hi to me. It makes me feel like I look like a ******* creeper. When I compare my looks to others around me, I would say I am slightly above average, I'm not emo or goth, I dress normally-- t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. I do have a scar on the area around my eye which may seem intimidating to some, but I saw a person with half of his front lips missing with more friends than me. And sadly, I have never once been to a party.
I am a commuter student by the way, so I don't have a roomate to make a friend out of. I have 4 more days of this orientation that feels like a path leading to yet another shitty social life. I ate my lunch today, in a table by the window, by myself, reading a book while eating, so I didn't look like a total loser. I don't do drugs or drink, so you can probably imagine loneliness without emotional relieve. I just can't break out of my comfort zone when people around me don't even introduce themselves, and my comfort zone is getting smaller and smaller.
To those of you that read this: Thanks for my reading my vent of a lonely life. If reading this made you feel a bit better, great I guess, although its not my intentions. I wrote this as more of a vent that I can't tell the others around me. I am going to join a few clubs and see what happens, hoping for at least a few friends. And please feel free to reply, it would be nice to know I am not alone. Anyone experience the same college experience? Did it get any better?
