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[Weeping Willow]

Thanks for your input MrLoney & Celt. It may just be me (unconsciously) setting myself up for another failure. I'll hold off. This last week was BAD. Every single day, I attempted to interact with others, including my husband and son. Each attempt, including just last night, ended up with my humiliation. I don't even know why I bothered getting my hair done up nice with highlights and all. Or why I do my nails, or even shower, etc. Lol. No one seems to want anything to do with me. I'm not a leper. All this isolation is gonna drive me crazy. I'm gonna have to stop asking though. I asked my son if he wanted to go to lunch & see a movie, whatever he wanted, my treat. "Nah". He used to be such a Mama's boy when we were younger. Now he and my husband act as though spending any family time together is like a trip to jail. I'm thinking about signing myself up for therapy, just to have someone to talk to, that won't stare at their phone the whole time. That would mean literally paying someone to talk to me. Are Therapists like mental prostitutes? Lol. Trying my best to stay positive....

 

[Meaw]

Welcome to the forum, Willow! ^_^
I know I'm late, sorry for that :/ I think your husband sounds like a bit of a partypooper ad that the "advertisement" idea is a good one. Maybe he has friends already, and if so, he just gotta understand that you need some as well. Try to join some other spare time activity or maybe volunteer with something, and see if people talk to you?
Happywishes and welcomes,
Meaw

 

[Jdkidtoe]

I obviously can't say my real name, but I'm 45 and married to a man who...doesn't keep me at the top of his list of things to do. I don't have any real friends and often feel like the only person on the planet. I do have a son who lives with us, but he's got his own things going on. I recently lost my mother, who was my friend and I miss her very much. I miss all of those I've lost over the years and I'm pretty much emotionally damaged, like my soul hurts. I also have a couple medical problems that cause me physical pain. I once, not long ago was part of "the rat race", working from the time my feet hit the floor at 7-whenever everything was done. Now, unable to do everything, I feel like I've been tossed aside. But I'm still here! Sometimes I want to scream it out loud, "I'm still here!" But no one answers. If anyone can get over that, I'll tell more of myself and I know what it's like needing someone to listen. I am capable of being quite funny, and artistic as well, but...who cares?

So sorry for your pain. I'll listen if you want to talk. I also need a shoulder

 

[Drew]

I'm thinking about signing myself up for therapy, just to have someone to talk to, that won't stare at their phone the whole time. That would mean literally paying someone to talk to me. Are Therapists like mental prostitutes? Lol. Trying my best to stay positive....

That's what I did. It was funny the first session, because one of the things she asked me at the end was how I felt about her actually being there and listening to me. I said it was nice and comforting, but in my mind, I was said "it's because I'm paying you". I kept going to her and it was really nice while it lasted. (My wife found out about my "medical appointments" and pressured me to tell her about it. I did and not long after she started seeing the same counselor. Shortly there after my counselor started directing me towards repairing my marriage -- something I had not talked about or indicated that I wanted to do. I stopped going to her after that session.)

It is always good to stay positive if you can. I have trouble with that, but I find that I can keep myself from being negative easier and that has helped keep me in shallow waters of depression. (I feel as if I am almost always on the verge of depression, treading the waters, but not sinking into it, if that makes sense.)

Welcome to the sight Willow. Feel free to PM me/us anytime if / when you need to talk. 

Oh and the ad idea sounds like a viable route as well. Although I might start with clubs or community events.