Newbee

[MoogieHK]

Hello,
Well where to start I have struggles with anxiety all my life, I was bullied in school but managed to get through it.
I used to just from one relationship to the next as I never wanted to be alone, then one day I just decided to be alone and it was great for a while but then started isolating myself again and my anxiety got bad again.
I started to go out with my friends and one night met someone, it felt like love at first sight totally whirlwind but we stuck together got engaged, my anxiety got really bad before our wedding and we called it off. From then things just went downhill my partner started using drugs (not to knowledge) and a year later he ended up in rehab after emptying all our bank accounts :-(
He parents were great they helped me out while he was away, I visited him and we had therapy together where I gave him an easy out from our relationship - but no he begged me to stand buy him etc, I did
It was incredibly difficult after rehab and my life started to revolve around him and his recovery, 18 months later just when I think things are getting better between us he ends our relationship :-(
I broke my heart but at the same time I felt like a weight had been lifted.
That was 5 months ago - I go through waves of being okay and just looking myself away, I still feel like we're meant to be but it just hurts soo much and I don't know if I could ever forgive him for anything - he says he loves me but need time to stand on his own two feet and really deal with his recovery (it's like he thinks he's doing me a favour)
Just feeling lost without him :-(

 

[Nicolelt]

Welcome to the site! I hope you find what you need here.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

welcome

 

[Alana]

Hi there, welcome!

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey there, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you are feeling lost from what has been happening, but please take your time to figure things out. You need to be able to find your way on your own, without him and anyone else first, and do it for yourself, not for him or anyone else. I think that's the most important thing. How? Well, I don't know any one way how. Different people deal with things differently, and depending on what do you want to achieve as well. Maybe have a look around the forum, see what you can relate with and you can always start a thread to talk about your issues and who knows there might be people here who can relate to your situation and have some good suggestions to share. Good luck.

 

[Edward W]

Hi and welcome!

 

[lonelyfairy]

Hello! Welcome to the site. I'm so sorry to hear that you have been bullied in high school. It's so horrible. You are a strong person for enduring all those mean people. All the best to you.

 

[Rosewood]

Welcome.
You are stronger than you think. I have learned about addicts from a personal and professional perspective. Usually people set one year as a goal to be clean before getting in a relationship. That's out of your control.
Focus on you. Be strong and be well. If you are your best self good things will find you.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome to ALL

 

[ojr1979]

Hello and welcome

 

[thelonegamer]

Hi and welcome. I'm saddened to hear that. Pm me anytime if you want to talk to someone

 

[9006]

Welcome here.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Hello & Welcome to the Forum! =)

 

[MoogieHK]

Thanks everyone for all the lovely welcome
I have made a decision I really need to try love myself and be happy within myself before I can get into another relationship (someone else can't fill the void)
It's just a bit of a scary step, but gonna keep trying x

 

[dawningday]

Hi and welcome!

Sorry to hear all that happened to you, with your boyfriend. That must be so tough to go through. I hope things get better, and that you find what you need here.