Newbie here

[winterlights08]

Hi all,
I'm happy to have found this site, I stumbled upon it while feeling sort of down and gloomy. It's been a weird sort of few weeks and I've been thinking a lot and missing the past. I don't really know where to begin about me...I'm a stay at home mom to four kids, divorced and remarried. How I managed that I do not know. I have no friends to speak of, I can count the good friends I've had during my life on one hand (and three of those were in elementary school!) My ex says I alienate people. I don't know if that's true. I know I'll never have tons of friends, I'd really just be happy with one good friend.

I've tried putting ads on craigslist, and I've talked through email with a couple of other moms. But I always say the wrong thing or something and I never hear from them again. One mom just "dumped" me and then had the nerve to put up another ad. I guess I didn't fit the bill of the "close friend" she was looking for. We talked for a couple of months and we were going to meet soon. I'd love to know what I said that was off-putting, so I know for next time. Or I'll meet one and it's totally awkward and just small talk and then I never see them again. I've reconnected with two old friends on facebook, but after my last message I never heard from them again. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm very introverted, very shy. I've tried things like parenting groups (no one really talks to me) and I went to a knit/crochet group but it was all old women except for two younger women and they must be shy also because no one talked to me. I tried talking but I feel like I don't say "normal things". Maybe I try too hard.

Part of me says screw it! I'm a loner like my dad and I need to come to terms with it. Be my own best friend. I'm almost afraid to make a friend because I know it'll end like the other times. I have my husband, who's supposed to be my best friend?? but I feel like I'm alienating him now too.

My mom (who has tons of friends) is always telling me "I need a girlfriend" (easier said than done, Mom!) and my mother-in-law had the nerve to tell me I needed to get a life after she saw all the crochet projects I had done. I've never had a life, where am I going to find one now?!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to talking to everyone here

 

[Disconnected]

A very sincere welcome to you, Winterlights.

 

[Minus]

Welcome to the forum

 

[Punisher]

Hi Winterlights

 

[viviana]

hey, i welcome that winterlight
i believe i could use some

 

[Catalyst]

Welcome winterlights

 

[samba101]

Hi I can see myself reflected in your post aside from the fact that I'm single, I'm 33 and have 4 friends, 1 here where I live, I moved countries and 3 back home. Two of my friends are from when I was 13 and 15 we lost contact and reconnected.

Okay I do actually have friends but there's more times where I've been friendless, took me a long time to get used to it. Some people just know how to connect easily and form bonds which has been the hardest part for me. I did have an internet friend who I was supposed to meet but she didn't email me back so I didn't bother contacting her, I left the ball in her court.

I envy those who effortlessy have friend they don't know how lucky they are. All I can say is keep contacting people on craigslist and see how it pans out, patience and perserverance may pay off in the long end.

 

[SophiaGrace]

The trick to having friends is perservering in keeping contact with them and finding someone that makes you laugh and that you enjoy being around.

Not too complicated. Find someone you like, open yourself up to them and perservere in the friendship no matter what happens. Make time for this person every day, or once a week.

That's how you build lasting friendships. n___n