LonesomeLoner said:
Sorry to hear you are not having the best of luck yet.
I'm no expert on dating etc, but I will say if it's what you want, then Don't Give Up, one day things will turn around for you.
Nope, still no luck, either finding a GF at church, through my mother's friend connection (since my dad doesn't really care about my marriage prospect), and with the match-making agency I have signed up with.
So far, the girls I have met via match-making agency are from another country (i.e. eastern Europe, China, Japan, etc...) and only here in my area for one or four months max. Some of them I have dated, but only lasted for two dates. After the 2nd date, they either never bothered to respond to my text messages, or flat out called me and told me that us two are not compatible due to differences.
For some guys, they just accept the fact that they will be single for life.
For me, I am getting upset, pissed off, and hate to accept this fact, and will one day, go bonkers and off the edge if I don't find a GF or get married. Dead serious.
TheSkaFish said:
I know what you mean. I've been dateless my whole life too, and encountered a lot of resistance on the rare times I meet someone I actually do like.
To start with, I don't think it's your racial background though. So don't fuss over that. Living with your parents though, and just starting out at work, not yet making enough money, those are probably much bigger issues. I still live at home myself and am not working now, and I think those have definitely been a factor in why getting a girl's interest to last has been a challenge for me. Also, for me, I tended to be negative, un-confident, and boring. So those are also factors. I should have been more confident, optimistic, and have more conversation topics and more going on in my life.
The social anxiety thing could be a problem too, I don't know. I guess I'd say just lighten up, smile and joke more.
I don't know what else to say, other than I empathize with you. But just know that this is a rut that people get out of all the time. You can do it.
@ SkaFish, I really laud and thank you for being understanding of me, still living at home with my folks.
With the typical American culture and mentality, you are seen as a "loser" if you are over the age of 25, and still live at home with your parents. A lot of girls I have met usually get "turned off" if you are still living at home with parents.
In this day and age, it's hard to find a job, and a well-paying job that allows a young person to move out of his or her parents' house, and pay rent to live elsewhere.
My race and sex does play a role in be getting little to no dates or being seen as an attractive male, as hollywood tends to portray my racial group as geeks, gay, asexual, etc. This is one reason why I avoid spending my hard earned $$$ at movie theaters and supporting this kind of BS institute of hollywood.
I do smile and am really less depressed these days, as I have finished my schooling and am working earning money. But not enough money to help me move out of my parents' house, and find a GF who is willing to live with me, and eventually marry.
I am getting old. I am 32 y.o right now, sprouting some gray hair, and am worried that I will die a single male.
Some males just accept the fact that they will be single.
I do not accept this at all. I will be really upset and bitter if I don't get a GF or get married within the next three years.
Wanderer145 said:
Man I live in a shared house, paying rent with an ok job, go out and socialise and I haven't been on a date in a long time. It's only a small part of solving the problem. At the very least you've had some dates here and there, that's a good step in the right direction.
Just don't look at what other people are doing. I've learnt it does you no favours comparing yourself to others. It can be so frustrating seeing people meet other people, get engaged, buying a house when it seems like things are going nowhere. It's their lives though and its not all sunshine and roses, so dont think things like that are black and white because they're really not man.
I was thinking to myself that if I'm alone now and its affected me a lot during my life it will be that way for a lot of it. So just live man, don't give up that's the last thing you want to do. Expanding your social circle is one way to go about getting somewhere with it.
@ Wanderer145. Yes, you are right in that I should not be too focused on other people's lives.
However, I work in a field that's predominantly female, and although some of them are pretty and attractive, a lot of them are already married and/or married with kids. I am very jealous of their life style.
Heck, I am jealous to the point that when I get either a wedding invitation, a wedding party invitation, I either ignore the invitation and throw it away, or simply send the sender some money to show some of my acknowledgements.
All of my relatives and even my sister have married, and have kids.
I am the ONLY person in the entire family to yet still be single, and I am hating it, and am getting very angry and bitter by the day. I feel that God has abandoned me, in the relationship aspect, and will punish me by being single for the rest of my life.
I would hate to be old fart male and single. I work in an elderly care home for one of my part-time jobs, and I will tell you all, that it SUCKS to be old, single, and have nobody to come take care of you. I even have nurse aid co-workers who make fun of certain residents with dementia, and these residents usually don't have a wife, or don't have a husband, no children, no relatives or friends to visit them.
People tell me it's better to be single, and that you have a more simple life. You can go out at your own will, you don't have to be burdened by caring for children, etc.
I have been on both side of the fence, single (which I hate), and have had small stints of one-month dates, and I will be candid that I feel more happy when I have somebody to talk to.
It really sucks when I am 32 y.o., still living at home, working, but still waiting to advance in my professional career to get a higher-paying job, and waiting waiting waiting for the right GF to become my future wife.
