No Trust In Friendship. =(

[colourbird]

My bestfriend nd I have bonded over the past few months to the point where we could discuss everything to each other. I haven't told her some things about myself nd never will with anyone else(well idk).
Anyways at first I thought me nd her was cool but I've had to hear from another person that she told her nd a couple others that she was pregnant before nd got an abortion a while back.. now if she could tell others about her situation why can't she tell me? I haven't confronted her yet, because I'm waiting on her to come out to me. I just don't understand.. being her bestfriend I should have been the first to know. Why won't she talk to me nd when I think about it a lot.. I haven't really told her about my life nd situations but it's way worse than hers...

Anyways, I just don't understand! Have I not been the friend she wanted me to be? It's likes she doesn't even trust me.
It makes me so angry.

 

[Sci-Fi]

You shouldn't read too much into something like that. Sometimes people keep things for reasons they don't even understand. There could be several reasons why she didn't tell you and none that have to do with trust.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Sometimes there are things you may not even feel comfortable talking to your best friend about. One best friend can't be everything to you, just like how one significant other can't be everything to you. Nobody's perfect really to fit into that role.

She may just not feel comfortable about it because she feels ashamed. It could entirely be up to how she feels and nothing against you. Like what Sci-Fi said, try not to read too much into it and let her talk about it if she wants to. Each of us have our insecurities.. sometimes we may feel ashamed to talk about them even to the closest person we have in our lives.

 

[Edward W]

Maybe she was afraid you might think less of her and didn't want to risk your friendship, your opion mattered the most. I don't know, just one possible idea.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

If you're a genuine best friend you'll consider showing more patience and less judgment. Confront her- why? What's the point? That seems more like control then "friendship".

As far as comparing "hidden secrets" what's traumatic to you may not be a big deal to her and vice versa.

You expressed anger over this- I think you seriously need to reconsider your motives in regards to this "friendship", the way you wrote made me think that it's more about wanting than offering.

 

[Dissident]

Nobody is going to tell you everything or do everything you want them to do all the time.

 

[PrinceOfPeace]

Being a real friend is more than just sharing intimate details of your life, its about caring and loving unconditionaly, when shes ready to share with you she will and if she chooses not to then that shouldnt change how you feel towards her, have you considered that maybe she value's ur opinion or friendship so much shes afraids if you knew about it you might think less of her, maybe? Who knows, I cld be wrong, I do know this though true friendship is loving kind and understanding, good luck with your situation

 

[Masque]

I honestly don't see how an abortion is your business, especially after knowing her for only a few months - best friend or not. It doesn't affect your friendship with her at all so she's not obligated to tell you. Friendship isn't about exclusive access to all the gritty, uncomfortable secrets that affect nothing in the present and which you don't want to talk about; we're entitled to discretion with those. Those other friends may have been people who were helping her through it or a number of other things.

If you're a genuine best friend you'll consider showing more patience and less judgment. Confront her- why? What's the point? That seems more like control then "friendship".

As far as comparing "hidden secrets" what's traumatic to you may not be a big deal to her and vice versa.

You expressed anger over this- I think you seriously need to reconsider your motives in regards to this "friendship", the way you wrote made me think that it's more about wanting than offering.

^ Also this.