Nobody to dance with

[h3donist]

Would you go dancing alone?

I do - all the time. I love electronic music (house, trance, garage etc) but I don't have anyone to go with, so rather than miss out, I go on my own but a man dancing on his own really stands out in a club. I go to gay clubs where I find people a lot more accepting and tolerant of single guys but I still get people mocking me - aping my (admittedly poor) dance moves or pointing me out to their friends.

I go for the music - nothing more. To me there's nothing more powerful than feeling the bassline in your ribcage, the beats lifting your feet off the floor and being surrounded by people all lost in the same moment of euphoria. But the feeling of isolation when sitting in the bar alone having a rest, surrounded by hundreds of other clubbers all laughing and having fun with their friends is pretty stark.

My friends say "ignore them - just have fun" which I try to do but I do struggle to shake the feeling that I look utterly ridiculous, dancing away on my own while groups of people look on with amusement or pity.

Now I'm separated from my wife who used to cringe at me dancing and would expect me in at a certain time (usually just as the clubs were getting busy) I'm free to do it more often and I will as long as I have the stamina to jump up and down all night. This weekend I went clubbing at 11pm and finished at 5am - it was such a lovely morning I bought a hot chocolate and sat watching the sunrise. My legs are still aching and ears are ringing though

So I was wondering who here would go dancing alone - not necessarily to meet anyone, just because you love the music and would prefer to be there rather than missing out at home?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I wouldn't go dancing not alone, so I likely wouldn't do it alone

That said, I think it's great that you can do something you enjoy without worrying about what others think.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'd not have the guts to go dancing alone outside.... even in crowds of strangers but I might just do it alone privately. With the right types of music to groove on to.

That's awesome you can do it, h3donist. Admirable!

 

[M_also_lonely]

Separated from wife? Does it mean what I am thinkinh?
And yes I went to dance once, alone offcourse, but I am not so comfortable with dance.

---

Separated from wife? Does it mean what I am thinkinh?
And yes I went to dance once, alone offcourse, but I am not so comfortable with dance.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

If there was a place to go dancing here, I would most certainly throw myself in there

 

[h3donist]

I think everyone should be able to enjoy dancing without being laughed at - once that fear is gone it's one of the most liberating activities you can do

Separated from wife? Does it mean what I am thinkinh?
And yes I went to dance once, alone offcourse, but I am not so comfortable with dance.

It means my wife and I are no longer together. I left, she's met another man, I'm living in temporary accommodation while the divorce goes through then I'm starting again. I'm very happy right now as I have my freedom again

 

[Triple Bogey]

I wouldn't go dancing if I was giving a million pound.
But if you like doing it then ignore the people laughing at you. They may get fed up after awhile.

 

[Sometimes]

I don't dance, and don't know anything but what I've heard about places to go and dance. But aren't there types of dance where everyone just jumps around? Is that what a "rave" is? If I were to go dancing, I think that's how I'd do it. Wild music, and everyone jumping around. In fact, now that you mention it, I just might do that!

 

[h3donist]

I don't dance, and don't know anything but what I've heard about places to go and dance. But aren't there types of dance where everyone just jumps around? Is that what a "rave" is? If I were to go dancing, I think that's how I'd do it. Wild music, and everyone jumping around. In fact, now that you mention it, I just might do that!

Yes this is an example of the sort of "rave" I like (turn your speakers down!)

 

[Rosebolt]

Yes this is an example of the sort of "rave" I like (turn your speakers down!)

Yyeeeeesssss!!

 

[ladyforsaken]

^Interesting. Sometimes I do get in the electronic music phase so I can understand how it could get you up to move to the music.

 

[cumulus.james]

I always absolutely loved to go to nightclubs, I loved the feeling of the bass and beats resonating through your body. But in the UK it is not the done thing to go to a club on your own, you would be looked upon as "sad" unless you were so attractive people wanted to hook up with you. Clubbing here is seen as something for young people too, so at 34 I would feel out of place.

Things must be better in the US because you can't even go clubbing until 21 there, so I'm assuming a 40 yr old does not look so out of place. My understanding of the US is that you could go to a restaurant on your own and no one would think anything of it, again one would not feel comfortable doing that here.

I would dearly love to go clubbing again but I would not go on my own. Sometimes I fancy going out to dinner but I would not do that on my own. In this respect, one is shut out from basic pleasures if lonely.

 

[h3donist]

I always absolutely loved to go to nightclubs, I loved the feeling of the bass and beats resonating through your body. But in the UK it is not the done thing to go to a club on your own, you would be looked upon as "sad" unless you were so attractive people wanted to hook up with you. Clubbing here is seen as something for young people too, so at 34 I would feel out of place.

Things must be better in the US because you can't even go clubbing until 21 there, so I'm assuming a 40 yr old does not look so out of place. My understanding of the US is that you could go to a restaurant on your own and no one would think anything of it, again one would not feel comfortable doing that here.

I would dearly love to go clubbing again but I would not go on my own. Sometimes I fancy going out to dinner but I would not do that on my own. In this respect, one is shut out from basic pleasures if lonely.

Well sir I am also 34 and from the UK, and I don't consider myself too old to go clubbing at all. I still put on my rave gear, grab my glow sticks and go for it. I don't understand why 34 isn't considered young? Same with eating out - in fact sometimes the staff in a restaurant will give a bit of extra attention if they spot you are dining alone.

 

[cumulus.james]

I wish I could

 

[StormChild]

I've never been into clubs so I'd never think of going to one, alone or otherwise. I think it's great that you do, though.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Mmm, while I've never really been into electronic music (I'm almost strictly a rock 'n roller) I do find it very admirable that you go out alone, even to places where you are confronted by hostile people, and still don't let that keep you from doing what makes you happy. It reminds me of about a year ago when I was out with friends, I saw a guy dancing alone in the bar we were at, really getting into it. No one else was even dancing at all, so he really stood out. But he was doing his thing, and he didn't look weird, he looked happy.

Don't let the few jerks bring you down. It's your life, your rules

 

[blazemaster26]

I wish i could, i never went into a real club, let alone i would go alone

 

[Peaches]

I loved to dance, but never liked clubs much anyway - single girl going to clubs, I never knew how to do it - but it if it an outdoors event, or a concert, yes, I wouldn't mind too much.

 

[Niantiel]

I have to drink a lot at the bar and be dragged to the floor with friends. lol.
Once I'm there long enough though and we're all goofing off all liquored up it doesn't matter anymore.

I've never been good at dancing.
I can waltz, but I can't dance. lol.

Not really, anyhow.
Around my apartment alone? Yeah, I dance all the time. haha

 

[stork_error]

Depends on the type of place and the type of dancing.

If lets say it was some sort of couples dancing like ballroom or swing or something interactive like line dancing then yes I'd go alone, but for something like a rave or a nightclub with top 40 music... No, I would feel awkward, unless I was on vacation and then the entertainment outweighs the awkwardness.

As for going to a bar alone.. I have no problem sitting at the bar alone eating wings and sipping a drink.

As for going to dinner alone, I do it all the time no matter what type of place.