Yaku
Active member
So, I decided I need to do something small at least to turn around my lonely journey. I got dressed nicely, teased my beard into perfection and drove to the nearby pub/bar.
So I parked my car and was ready to go in when I found myself unable to do so. Like my brain sent out the signals, but my body was like "umm, nope".
So I sat in the dim light like a serial killer in a Netflix trailer, just watching people go in and out, and was caught off guard by a sudden epiphany. I just don't like people...no offense.
Its Friday evening, you see, and I saw drunk people and sober ones, well dressed people and some that looked disheveled. Some laughed, and some were having an argument or something. I just realised there is nothing in any social scenario that appeals to me in the slightest. I realised its not the music or the alcohol or the setting that irretates me, but the people. What a selfish species we are. Even my own reasons for going there was probably selfish. Reveling in excess until the coffin lid closes. Inexplicably a bible text popped into my head: "And the Lord regretted that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart."
I was just like : nope, and came home.
I would like to thank everyone that has interacted with me here, I appreciate the advice and humor. I realised I will always be out of phase, out of place and awkward. Speeding down the river chained by fate. I just can't accept human nature; my own nature. Infact, I reject it. What we are is incompatible with a pure definition of love, because we are unable to be selfless. Our very conciousness is original sin, and inescapable as long as we live.
This will be my last post here. I wish you all love and happiness, and all the best.
And I ate and I drank and I married and made merry until the flood came and washed me away. My life and my reward was in my flesh, but it had no future.
So I parked my car and was ready to go in when I found myself unable to do so. Like my brain sent out the signals, but my body was like "umm, nope".
So I sat in the dim light like a serial killer in a Netflix trailer, just watching people go in and out, and was caught off guard by a sudden epiphany. I just don't like people...no offense.
Its Friday evening, you see, and I saw drunk people and sober ones, well dressed people and some that looked disheveled. Some laughed, and some were having an argument or something. I just realised there is nothing in any social scenario that appeals to me in the slightest. I realised its not the music or the alcohol or the setting that irretates me, but the people. What a selfish species we are. Even my own reasons for going there was probably selfish. Reveling in excess until the coffin lid closes. Inexplicably a bible text popped into my head: "And the Lord regretted that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart."
I was just like : nope, and came home.
I would like to thank everyone that has interacted with me here, I appreciate the advice and humor. I realised I will always be out of phase, out of place and awkward. Speeding down the river chained by fate. I just can't accept human nature; my own nature. Infact, I reject it. What we are is incompatible with a pure definition of love, because we are unable to be selfless. Our very conciousness is original sin, and inescapable as long as we live.
This will be my last post here. I wish you all love and happiness, and all the best.
And I ate and I drank and I married and made merry until the flood came and washed me away. My life and my reward was in my flesh, but it had no future.
